Damn, is it drama season or what?

[Die Hard]

I'm turning into a goddamn emotional pvssy...

I'll try to keep this brief...

Met a girl, just had some fun interaction and some superficial conversation. Nothing more, no kissing or whatever, but we had a really strong connection. Asked her number, exchanged messages, set up a date for next week.

She's visiting my country and will leave in one month, which is enough time to seal the deal, haha. But here's the catch: our meeting and texting has sent my thoughts and emotions into overdrive, like at a totally ridiculous level. Even after such a brief meeting, I feel like I'm already addicted to her, can't stop thinking about her and feel like I have no control over my emotions. Reminds me of my BPD ex...

I'd say "RUN, FORREST, RUN!" coz the effect she has on me is just not healthy. OTOH, I know she'll leave in a month so even if I get sucked into some BPD-like relationship, circumstance will save me from it next month, haha.

So I feel tempted to have a great time with her over the next month and just enjoy the hell out of it. But I'm afraid that I'll feel quite sad when she leaves...

Reminds me of Bridges of Madison County. Clint Eastwood and that woman spending 4 days with each other, knowing they can't be together after that. They build up a really strong connection over those days and it tears them apart when they have to say goodbye. The ending, with him standing in the rain, is one of the saddest scenes I know of in any movie, lol.

It's just fvcked up. I clearly sense that I'll become very attached to her if we spend the next month together and I'm gonna be quite sad when she leaves. To be honest, it freaks me out so much (as in physically feeling it in my stomach!) that I think about cancelling the date altogether and ignoring her.

What would you guys do? Go for it, have a great time with her and accept the sadness afterwards? Or just go chasing some other girls and forget about this one, as the whole emotional turmoil she is causing inside of me is just not healthy...

 

[dustmuffin]

If you can divest emotionally go for it.

 

[Desdinova]

Have you got over relationships in the past? If you have, you'll get over this one too.

Go ahead and enjoy yourself, but just keep in mind that it's only temporary. You're human, and you're going to feel loss every time a relationship ends, some more than others.

On the plus side, the shorter the relationship, the quicker you'll be able to get over her.

 

[Die Hard]

Well, I'm not sure that I can divest emotionally, that's the thing... Of course it's a good thing that I'm conscious of the strong effect she has on me. If I'm conscious about it, I could actively try to keep some emotional distance from her.

We'll see how it goes, we still have to go on our first "date". Who knows, maybe she flakes on me, maybe one of our text convos doesn't go too well and we never meet up anyway. But I got a feeling she is very much into me (although she tries to conceal it) and if we get together, things will probably esacalate fast into a very intense and passionate thing. If that were to happen, it will feel good and work like a drug. So if that intensity and passion between us were to suddenly disappear coz she has to leave next month, there may be strong withdrawal effects.

I'm not sure I want to experience those... I'm not sure whether the good time we might have together would make up for the "sadness" when it ends. What is it that quote says again? 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I'm not so sure I agree with that. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I dunno!

Oh well, I already know I'm not gonna call the date off because of some fear that I might feel sad when she leaves. Fvck it... What kind of weak attitude is that anyway. I'll just go with it and see what happens. Maybe she acts like a cvnt and pisses me off, so I'll kick her to the curb, lol.

EDIT: Didn't see your post until now, Des.

Yeah, I've gotten over relationships in the past. But the last time was a tough experience, as you might remember. Nevertheless, what's life without experiencing some passion now and then? You live, you die...better have some memorable experiences in the meanwhile, I guess.

 

[Rainman4707]

I'd go for it. Plus's outweigh the negatives in my opinion.

 

[logicallefty]

Have some other plates lined up immediately upon her leaving so you can go on some other dates and try like he|| to get over her with the help of some company from other women.. And who knows, maybe once she gets home you can keep talking to her and start making plans to meet again in a few months. Don't count on that but you never know. If it's meant to be it will happen. Just protect your heart soldier, that's priority numero uno!

 

[zekko]

I say do the fling, especially since you know it will end. Getting over these things is good "practice" for the next time. It's like developing a callus.

I don't think any of us should become unfeeling robots, but dealing with these kinds of things becomes easier with time and experience.

 

[logicallefty]

I say do the fling, especially since you know it will end. Getting over these things is good "practice" for the next time. It's like developing a callus.

I don't think any of us should become unfeeling robots, but dealing with these kinds of things becomes easier with time and experience.

Couldn't agree more with the callus thing!! Most call it a "wall" but i think callus is much more applicable.

 

[Sprayarc]

I'm turning into a goddamn emotional pvssy...

I'll try to keep this brief...

Met a girl, just had some fun interaction and some superficial conversation. Nothing more, no kissing or whatever, but we had a really strong connection. Asked her number, exchanged messages, set up a date for next week.

She's visiting my country and will leave in one month, which is enough time to seal the deal, haha. But here's the catch: our meeting and texting has sent my thoughts and emotions into overdrive, like at a totally ridiculous level. Even after such a brief meeting, I feel like I'm already addicted to her, can't stop thinking about her and feel like I have no control over my emotions. Reminds me of my BPD ex...

I'd say "RUN, FORREST, RUN!" coz the effect she has on me is just not healthy. OTOH, I know she'll leave in a month so even if I get sucked into some BPD-like relationship, circumstance will save me from it next month, haha.

So I feel tempted to have a great time with her over the next month and just enjoy the hell out of it. But I'm afraid that I'll feel quite sad when she leaves...

Reminds me of Bridges of Madison County. Clint Eastwood and that woman spending 4 days with each other, knowing they can't be together after that. They build up a really strong connection over those days and it tears them apart when they have to say goodbye. The ending, with him standing in the rain, is one of the saddest scenes I know of in any movie, lol.

It's just fvcked up. I clearly sense that I'll become very attached to her if we spend the next month together and I'm gonna be quite sad when she leaves. To be honest, it freaks me out so much (as in physically feeling it in my stomach!) that I think about cancelling the date altogether and ignoring her.

What would you guys do? Go for it, have a great time with her and accept the sadness afterwards? Or just go chasing some other girls and forget about this one, as the whole emotional turmoil she is causing inside of me is just not healthy...

Ask yourself this: how much do the details matter? I'd say check yourself before you reck yourself. I mean yes you're a human being with feelings. But in the past when you've allowed yourself to become emotionally compromised, what were your results?

 

[glass half full]

I say go for it, there are other relationships/situations in life that you could get involved in that could hurt far worse!
Enjoy it while you've got a chance.

 

[parkthebus]

I'm in a similar situation. Moved country for a woman, lived together, but we found out we weren't compatible in that sense. I moved out and we still see each other but we're not "together". Anyway, my visa is only tempory at the moment and as we won't be together I won't be getting a permenant one. We will likely never see each other again as shes in Australia and I'll be in England. So my situation is similar to yours in that I had to ask myself, should I just stop seeing her now to make it easier for when I leave or spend the last bit of time with her that I can? Of course, like you, I fear the heartache. But I'd much rather look back in 6 months time and think 'I made the most of what life was offering and enjoyed it all I could' rather than, 'I still miss her, damn it why didn't I spend what time with her I was able to'. The heartache will last for a short time, the regret will be long term.

 

[yuppaz]

Dude maybe there is some truth to the idea that there are certain people who are really great for us and that when you meet them you just kind of know it. Amazing chemistry can be a very good thing. What if you too are crazy about each other, so much so for her that she moves to your country to be near you.... Not the worst thing in the world