Girlfriend Asked To Borrow Money

[SoulMan13]

I've been dating this girl exclusively for just under 1.5 months now.

Anyway, the other day she asked me if she could borrow $25 and said that she would pay me back by next week at the latest. However, when I asked her what she needed the $25 for, she wouldn't tell me and just said that it doesn't matter. Now she's saying, "Look at everything I do for you," (admittedly, she does a lot for me without me even having to ask), "But when I need help you're not there".

The issue to me isn't the $25. $25 is nothing. I wouldn't even care if she didn't pay it back. The issue is that she won't tell me what it's for. I'm a generous person and will lend money with no problem if somebody needs it, but my one condition is that I have to know what it's needed for. I'm not going to lend my hard earned money to a friend if they are going to blow it on weed, alcohol, clubs or anything unnecessary.

She's got that female manipulation thing going on and has me doubting whether I'm being an ******* and too inner or not, though. What do ya'll think?

 

[Tictac]

Then 25 bucks isn't 'nothing' is it? If it was, it would be nothing as in done without much thought or conditions.

 

[dustmuffin]

Then 25 bucks isn't 'nothing' is it? If it was, it would be nothing as in done without much thought or conditions.

True..
If it was happening regularly it would be a concern. Once np and then if she didn't pay it back, never again.

 

[marmel75]

She is right, it doesn't matter what it's for. Either give her the money because you want to or don't. I'm thinking this is some kind of small test to see what she can get away with later tho...

 

[SoulMan13]

Then 25 bucks isn't 'nothing' is it? If it was, it would be nothing as in done without much thought or conditions.

25 bucks is nothing. Like I previously stated, it's not about the money, it's about asking for money and not wanting to tell the person you're borrowing money from what you need it for. I see that as rude, but maybe I'm overreacting/in the wrong, which is why I started this thread...I wanted to see others opinions on the situation. I feel like if you're asking somebody for money you should be like, "Hey, can I borrow $25. I'm behind on my rent and need it to make rent for the month" or just, "Hey, can I borrow $25? I need gas money." Not just, "Hey, can I borrow $25? It doesn't matter what it's for, can you just lend me the money?"

The amount of money is small and insignificant, but I don't like the idea of giving people money that I worked to earn so that they can fritter it away on useless things, which is why I like to know. A dime or 25 bucks, same difference to me.

 

[Tictac]

I don't like the idea of giving people money that I worked to earn so that they can fritter it away on useless things.

__________

Fool yourself if you like.

It's not 'nothing' or you wouldn't be all torqued about it.

 

[Desdinova]

I've been dating this girl exclusively for just under 1.5 months now.

If this was a chick you've been with for 6 months or more, then I'd say "why the hell are you hesitating?" 1 1/2 months doesn't even enter the realm of being exclusive for me. If some chick was asking me for money at that point in the relationship, I'd see it as a red flag and she'd either get the boot or be nothing but a booty call.

Now she's saying, "Look at everything I do for you," (admittedly, she does a lot for me without me even having to ask), "But when I need help you're not there".

How much can she do in 1 1/2 months? Give me a fvcking break. You weren't there 2 months ago, so why is she relying so heavily on you? Something's not right with this chick.

 

[SoulMan13]

If this was a chick you've been with for 6 months or more, then I'd say "why the hell are you hesitating?" 1 1/2 months doesn't even enter the realm of being exclusive for me. If some chick was asking me for money at that point in the relationship, I'd see it as a red flag and she'd either get the boot or be nothing but a booty call.



How much can she do in 1 1/2 months? Give me a fvcking break. You weren't there 2 months ago, so why is she relying so heavily on you? Something's not right with this chick.

She will come to my apartment and clean it top to bottom without even being asked. When I was sick, she stayed with me for three days straight to make sure that I was okay. She loves home cooking and will cook at home and always bring me some of whatever she decided to bake. She'll bring food to my apartment and cook for me when I have been busy and she knows I haven't had time to do any grocery shopping. I had a test at work and she was the one that made sure I studied my ass off. She actually came to my apartment on the morning of the test to make sure that I was awake and out of the door on time so that I didn't miss my test. Maybe I am just easily impressed, but as far as I'm concerned, she does a lot for me.

I agree. I thought it was weird that she would ask me and rely on me in that way before she'd ask any of her friends that she has known and been close to for way longer. But then again, I was her first time so maybe she feels a close bond to me because of that.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think you're overthinking it. Because of the fact that she does so much for you, I would just give her the money and see if she pays you back. If she doesn't (give her a few extra days), I would say that just as she expects me to keep my word, I expect her to keep hers... It's not the money, its the principle, blah blah blah. You'll discover her character in the process.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Personally, I don't like that she won't tell you. Even on the off-chance she's doing it to surprise you - like, she wants to cook you a meal and get food for it but she's low on money so she needs your money to buy the food she wants to make you... it's still your money, and you have the right to know what's being done with it.

I'm always a guy that doesn't like when people do stuff to me that I wouldn't do to them. So, you have to ask yourself: if you asked her for money and she asked you what for, would you tell her what you needed it for, or be bothered that she asked you and tell her it was none of her business? If it's the former, don't give her the money; if it's the latter, give it to her and see what she spends it on.

LASTLY... you have to remember that, subconsciously, women are going to present various tests to you to see if you're willing to stand your ground and say NO to her. Especially if you've gone out a month and a half with her and have yet to have a disagreement, THIS would be an example of her testing you to see how you react if a fight happens. And trust me, this IS one of those things where, subconsciously, she's trying to start a fight. Unfortunately, women HAVE to do this - they can't just ask you "So, if we were to get into a fight, how would you respond?" Every guy would say the same thing - we'd sit down, talk about it, etc.... So, her brain comes up with things like this that seem like they're out of no where, but it serves a purpose.

My suggestion? Stand your ground, and let her get mad at you. And if/when she does, tell her she's not getting the money, and if she doesn't like it, too bad. Then tell her you're going home, and that when she's ready to start acting rationale again to hit you up. Sound counter-productive? Maybe - but I've done this many times with women who started acting dumb, and the same thing usually happens: I hear from them a few days later, and THEY are the ones apologizing to ME for acting emotional. Then we resume things as normal.

Hope this helps!

 

[El Payaso]

RED FLAG ALERT.

That is manipulation at its finest. I would simply reply "Perhaps, you shouldn't cook or clean for me any longer if you're going to use that to manipulate me into giving you $25".

The fact that she got so sour as to bring up the things she does for you over a measly $25 is really telling.

In fact, I personally wouldn't allow her to clean or cook for you any longer. She's not doing those things because she cares. Subconsciously, she's doing them for future leverage as evidenced by her bringing it up now.

Anytime you don't fall in line with her requests, she will use her shaming tactics to make you feel guilty (as you already are feeling right now) to make you want to even give her more than she asked for.

Be very careful. Today it's $25. Tomorrow, it's "I do EVERYTHING for you but you won't let me move in with you. You're such a disgusting, selfish jerk."

 

[RangerMIke]

Make this a test. Lend her the money and she what she does....
If she pays you back and is grateful, then you have a good one.

If she 'forgets' about it, you know she doesn't have integrity, so dump her.

It will have cost you $25 to learn your girlfriend is not worth keeping.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Save yourself 20 bucks and dump her, you hardly know this woman.

Sounds to me like it might be "Can I borrow 25 bucks to go see this OTHER guy I'm plowing". I mean honestly if you think 25 bucks is nothing, you are training her to take advantage of you and use you for money. 25 bucks is almost 3 hours work for MOST PEOPLE. She's not **** testing you, she sounds like a gold digging ***** and would l delete her number from your phone.

You said you've been dating exclusively for a month? Dude WTF??? ALL DATING SHOULD BE EXCLUSIVE TO YOU. This woman is likely banging other dudes she's not telling you about. When you meet someone and they tell you that they are also dating other people, this is not someone you want to be exclusive with. The whole situation sounds shady as anything and a great big RED FLAG.

The dismissiveness... the disrespect... and you want to continue in a relationship with this person? How old are you 10? This woman just revealed her true face. You THINK she was your first but you hardly know her, that might be a lie, you've only been going out for a VERY SHORT TIME.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

You guys are looking at the worst of situations. I'd take RangerMike's advice and give it to her. Just ask her if it affects you in ANY way at all. If she says yes, then you have every right to know what for. If she says no, no big deal, just see what she does.

 

[BeTheChange]

Lol at some of the advice on this thread...

It's $25.

Think it's time to step away from SS for a few days.

 

[Yewki]

I don't like the idea of giving people money that I worked to earn so that they can fritter it away on useless things, which is why I like to know.

What does it matter if she wastes the money or not, if she's going to pay you back?

Since she's done a lot for you, you should have lent her the small amount money with little to no hesitation. Instead you made a big deal out of it and come across as petty. I'm also picking up a hint of jealously here, "If I don't know what you're doing you can't do it!". The red flag here appears to be you actually.

 

[Maximus Rex]

I've been dating this girl exclusively for just under 1.5 months now.
Anyway, the other day she asked me if she could borrow $25 and said that she would pay me back by next week at the latest.
What do ya'll think?

Rex thinks that you should go to 7:07-7:19 of the clip.

Go to the beginning of the clip to :15 seconds in.

She will come to my apartment and clean it top to bottom without even being asked. When I was sick, she stayed with me for three days straight to make sure that I was okay. She loves home cooking and will cook at home and always bring me some of whatever she decided to bake. She'll bring food to my apartment and cook for me when I have been busy and she knows I haven't had time to do any grocery shopping. I had a test at work and she was the one that made sure I studied my ass off. She actually came to my apartment on the morning of the test to make sure that I was awake and out of the door on time so that I didn't miss my test. Maybe I am just easily impressed, but as far as I'm concerned, she does a lot for me.

7:02-9:02 of the clip. You're doing even more for her. You're giving her your game, attention, and more importantly your time. She choose you because she saw something about you and she feels as if she can potently have something with you. She also wants to see if you're going to be a man and stand your ground. If she's having problems managing her money, then she needs to give her money to you so you can handle all of financial issues, if not then she needs to budget that sh*t a little better, or go to her mamma, daddy, pa pa, granny, uncle, auntie, her b.f.f. or that beta male orbiter to get those ends, anybody but you.

The simpin' is strong in this thread, but anyway. Like Harry and others are saying, this is some kind of sh*t test or maybe worse. What I want to know is, (and it's a critical piece of information that you left out,) how long have you known her in total. If you've known her for a year or so and you've just started messing with her in terms of a relationship, then have a pretty good gauge on her character. As a matter of fact, you need to tell her since she has a mouth and a p*ssy she should never be broke.

 

[parkthebus]

I reckon the decision you should make is one that you feel is the right thing to do. What's important is to not do something for this female that you wouldn't do for anyone else (like like lending money with out knowing the reason). Also, it seems unlikely to me that is genuinely something she can't tell you about. More like she wants to make it seemed like you pressured her into telling you as she feels guilty about it or is playing some kind of game, who knows.

 

[Nostalgic.]

I would never lend money to any sloot i'm with.

specially a sloot im banging only 1 month. just say no, you don't have to give her a reason or explain yourself.

just the way it is. you're not a bank or a doormat for her to leech you off.

learn this, if u "lend" her you will never see this money back. be it 25$ or 500$.

ps: stop over analyzing everything and every move. do as you want. but be aware when a sloot is trying to one up you, take advantage and don't be afraid to put your feet down and tell her the way it is. she can just accept it or hit the road. the moment you're afraid of losing her, you already lost her.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Just. Say. NO.

If you lend her $25 now, next time it will be $50, then $100, then $500...She's testing the waters. The fact that she won't tell you what it's for is weird. I mean, what can you even buy with $25 that is so important that you can't wait until your next paycheque?