Is it time to take a break?

[Konada]

Posting this here because I feel the more mature DJs can chime in on this better.

I feel defeated. Simply put. I can literally count my dating experience with one hand. 4 first dates in 22 years, 2 of which happened in the past 3 months.

In the 3 months I have used OLD, I have gotten 10+ numbers, 5+ dates, of which only 2 realized into actual first dates. I have listened to some pretty ****ty advice from my friends about how girls here are more into dining rather than a casual meetup. As a result, the first date I got made use of for a free meal but I trucked on anyway in the name of practice. The second OLD date, let's say I had an easy time setting the meetup. Heck she was the one suggesting to meetup (she even paid for it) which leads me to think that it is because I fvcked up which is why I never got a second date.

FR: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/field-report-getting-there.229682/

I am aware that I am starting way below a normal AFC on the boards who have actually hooked up with women before discovering this site and it actually makes me happy that I have made more progress in these few months than I have in 21 years. Thing is, the awareness of my current situation, the thought of the number of girls that have the attritbutes I'm looking for in the moment that I have to screw up with before I can actually become a man of value discourages me. Not only that, but with every interaction with every women I get less tolerant of the BS they throw at me and as a result become more apathetic towards women in general. Basically, my whole perception of women have shifted from 'I am interested in finding out what you are about' to 'Prove to me you are worthy of my interest.' I have never been one to be interested in everybody I meet and I feel such a mindset is hindering me from getting the experience I need to be good with women at a rapid pace because I don't talk to people as much as I need to and because I live in a small country my pool of women is drying up rapidly (OLD is pretty much a dead resource for me) .In fact, I can more or less see myself not having experience of a relationship 5 years down the road.

I do not deny that social pressure that if a man is single at 25 means he is a failure is getting to me. I believe we have all been through similar situations where our real life experiences do not match our beliefs and with every failed interaction I find myself drifting back into the mindset that I am not worthy as a person.

I am torn, because I feel I am not getting this part of my life handled fast enough. Plus I have alot more plates to spin in life. I have not been experiencing progress in working out, I am totally swamped with schoolwork, I am planning to head a club in my college and I am also now undergoing a self-discovery course.

I have been running away from my problems of being bad with women for long enough but I feel I don't have the energy to keep on trucking through all the failures with my confidence at a low, especially with so many things going on in my life right now. Is it time for me to take a break from women despite the dismal success I have with them at the moment?

 

[grayclif]

If you are going to take a break you may as well retool. Read the following -http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindful-Attraction-Plan-Practical/dp/149045151X

 

[dustmuffin]

You sound like you are still young. Don't lose hope, but it might be time to take a break from women and concentrate on your other tasks. I don't like socializing either. Just keep at it. Talk to everyone. Even if it is just a hello. You are worthy as a person. Single at 25 is not the end of the world. It means you have the freedom to make something of yourself, unencumbered by responsibility. It seems that you don't have time for women. Work on your social skills and tend to your studies. You will have plenty of time for women later.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Konada,
Six weeks is all it takes to seriously erode any skill...Were you learning Dancing and had hit a log jam,would you give up for a while?...certainly not...just keep plugging on and learn from your mistakes...you are an extremely smart looking Bloke...you will go well,just keep following the advice given here!

 

[amazingswayze]

Posting this here because I feel the more mature DJs can chime in on this better.

I feel defeated. Simply put. I can literally count my dating experience with one hand. 4 first dates in 22 years, 2 of which happened in the past 3 months.
You never fail as long as you try.
In the 3 months I have used OLD, I have gotten 10+ numbers, 5+ dates, of which only 2 realized into actual first dates.
Quality over quantity.
I am aware that I am starting way below a normal AFC on the boards who have actually hooked up with women before discovering this site and it actually makes me happy that I have made more progress in these few months than I have in 21 years.
It could be worse.
I have never been one to be interested in everybody I meet and I feel such a mindset is hindering me from getting the experience I need to be good with women at a rapid pace because I don't talk to people as much as I need to and because I live in a small country my pool of women is drying up rapidly (OLD is pretty much a dead resource for me) .In fact, I can more or less see myself not having experience of a relationship 5 years down the road.
Your mindset is obviously negative. Only you can fix it. From within.
I am torn, because I feel I am not getting this part of my life handled fast enough. Plus I have alot more plates to spin in life. I have not been experiencing progress in working out, I am totally swamped with schoolwork, I am planning to head a club in my college and I am also now undergoing a self-discovery course.
Everything else you just mentioned is more important than women. Pursue that.
I have been running away from my problems of being bad with women for long enough but I feel I don't have the energy to keep on trucking through all the failures with my confidence at a low, especially with so many things going on in my life right now. Is it time for me to take a break from women despite the dismal success I have with them at the moment?

Ok OP, I'm gonna give you my feedback.

Dude, don't give up.

You make it seem like you've been learning game for 22 years. You haven't. You probably only started recently. This stuff takes years man. I don't know much about your story but me personally, I didn't even have the confidence to approach a girl until I was 17. That doesn't mean I struggled for 17 years.

What I'm trying to say is that this stuff takes time. Your mindset is negative, and a girl won't make you happy right now. I know it's hard to take this advice seriously, because you just want to get impeccable game overnight. It won't happen. You have other important things going on. Don't forget.

You don't need a girl OP. Look at what I quoted. All your problems have a simple response.

tl;dr - Life is more important than game. Work on yourself. You've heard this many times but it's really what you must do to achieve a positive mindset.

Good luck, brother.

 

[ubercat]

Konada
I m 49. Was married, had live-in LTRs etc. Startingout again I expect 3 things
- my game will b rubbish
- women will have got worse
- I will adapt and win

At 25 sports and career r far more important than skirt. Go hard.
And be relentlessly social - meetups etc.
Then u ll b so busy u won't have time for these negative thoughts
And because u won't b obsessing about dates u ll naturally start to get them.

Cunning and guile is needed by us old guys. Healthy busy lifestyle and your youthvr all u need. If u want experience hit up some 30s cougars on OLD And practice on them. Then casually mention these chicks as 'friends' around other chicks and watch them come running.

 

[Konada]

bump

 

[gravityeyelids]

Dude you're 22. Think about this: girls reach their prime probably mid 20s and start to go downhill once they hit like 30. As a MAN you have the next fvxking 35 years to get on Hot girls. BRAD PITT IS 51 YEARS OLD. GEORGE CLOONEY IS 54. you have plenty of time.

And FVCK ONLINE DATING. it's a massive waste of time, full of completely damaged, unattractive, uninteresting girls who don't have their lives together.

 

[Genos]

Can't add too much that other's haven't said, but I'd just like to reiterate that your troubles with women will diminish in significance (and evaporate quickly) when you have the rest of your life sorted out.

Develop a career you are proud of, fill your life with hobbies you enjoy, and you'll find that even if you aren't seeing women, you'll be happy. And happiness is the number #1 most attractive quality a man can have.

 

[ubercat]

And when idiots ask u say with a big smile "I m happily single" and enjoy their confused look.

 

[Yewki]

I do not deny that social pressure that if a man is single at 25 means he is a failure is getting to me.

You know what's worse... much worse? Being 25 with a kid in a relationship that you hate.

Life shouldn't be about women. If you're 25 and still have the freedom to do what you want and pursue your interests, that right there is the dream.