Wife wanted to leave and I let her?

[way2smart]

So here's what happened.
Me and my wife went to a restaurant, everything went well. Came home, watched a movie together.
Then we go to bed together. But I didn't want to sleep immediately so i exchanged some texts with my male co-worker about a project.

She said, are you texting? I said "yes". She asked who are you texting with? I said "somebody".

Next minute, she stands up and goes to sleep in the living room. So I go after her and tell her to come back. But she refused.

The next couple of days she doesn't talk to me much and I just ignored her this whole time.
Today she says to buy her a plane ticket to fly home (we are both from Europe in the US).

So I didn't try to persuade her to stay, I just bought her a plane ticket and dropped her off at the airport. On the way to the airport she cried a little about me not paying much attention and stuff but didn't back down from flying home.

Did I do the right thing? Where was my fault? I am starting to doubt myself, maybe I messed up, maybe I should have persuaded her to stay. But the DJ in me says that I handled this like a champ.

 

[Young OG]

Why didn't you just tell her who you were texting? It seems like she was looking for an excuse to leave. Maybe there is more to it then she is telling you.

 

[way2smart]

Why didn't you just tell her who you were texting? It seems like she was looking for an excuse to leave. Maybe there is more to it then she is telling you.

I told her I was texting a co-worker on the way to the airport, but not that day. She didn't ask me that day.
I don't think she was looking for excuse to leave. She loves me a lot.

What I am thinking is she wanted to gain power in the relationship by making me persuade her to stay, but I'm not sure why would she go this far.

 

[Young OG]

What I am thinking is she wanted to gain power in the relationship by making me persuade her to stay, but I'm not sure why would she go this far.

That could be it, but I think there is some hidden agenda here. Eventually you will find out.

 

[way2smart]

That could be it, but I think there is some hidden agenda here. Eventually you will find out.

Anyway, once she steps on that plane, i am not taking her back.

 

[amazingswayze]

you didnt handle it like a champ. why did you buy her a plane ticket? if she wants to leave, she gets one herself. she clearly overreacted but so did you by chasing her. not sure how this will turn out but she disrespected you. take it from there.

 

[exhausted]

So here's what happened.
Me and my wife went to a restaurant, everything went well. Came home, watched a movie together.
Then we go to bed together. But I didn't want to sleep immediately so i exchanged some texts with my male co-worker about a project.

She said, are you texting? I said "yes". She asked who are you texting with? I said "somebody".

Next minute, she stands up and goes to sleep in the living room. So I go after her and tell her to come back. But she refused.

The next couple of days she doesn't talk to me much and I just ignored her this whole time.
Today she says to buy her a plane ticket to fly home (we are both from Europe in the US).

So I didn't try to persuade her to stay, I just bought her a plane ticket and dropped her off at the airport. On the way to the airport she cried a little about me not paying much attention and stuff but didn't back down from flying home.

Did I do the right thing? Where was my fault? I am starting to doubt myself, maybe I messed up, maybe I should have persuaded her to stay. But the DJ in me says that I handled this like a champ.

You looked suspicious. A person with something to hide acts like a person with something to hide..
why didnt you just say so and so from work and continue to message in front of her? This is suppose to be your life partner, your best friend, the person you look out for above anyone in life.

 

[way2smart]

You looked suspicious. A person with something to hide acts like a person with something to hide..
why didnt you just say so and so from work and continue to message in front of her? This is suppose to be your life partner, your best friend, the person you look out for above anyone in life.

I may have looked suspicious , but you don't leave your husband just for looking suspicious and without asking questions. Right?

 

[exhausted]

I may have looked suspicious , but you don't leave your husband just for looking suspicious and without asking questions. Right?

Agreed, seems unstable especially if this is the first incident. Has this been a topic for awhile? You texting and not telling her and her becoming increasingly suspicious? Even if you are texting a buddy if it looks suspicious then it will just make her feel uneasy and insecure...Me, when my ex asked me that I always answered who it was and just left the conversation up and set it down, like no big deal. I would rather be upfront so she knows then have to deal with a passive aggressive ***** for the next week.. save yourself the trouble

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

It all depends. If you did nothing wrong then sure, you have to let her do what she's going to do. Apologizing and trying to get her to stay when you didn't do anything wrong is EXTREMELY unattractive to a woman.

On the other hand, if you were a **** to her and treated her like she didn't matter to you, and it sounds like you might have, then you should definitely apologize. Do NOT get into an emotional discussion over the phone and do NOT beg\demand she come back. Keep it short and simple and state what you want. "I apologize. I did a very poor job at showing you how much you mean to me. I want to see you and when you're ready to come back we'll work things out.". Something short and simple like that lets her know you're sorry, without getting too emotional and needy about it. After that you just to wait. She has to work out her feelings on her own. If she contacts you keep it short. Tell her that you want to see her and work things out, but that she needs to come to you in order to do that.

Women are emotional. Right now those negative emotions are fresh in her mind, but give it time and those bad memories will fade to the back of her mind and she will start to miss you and come back to you. As long as you don't start acting all needy and emotional I would say there's a very strong chance she will come back. You just have to be patient and let it happen.

 

[G_Govan]

Is there some kind of backstory to this? I don't understand why you didn't tell her who you were texting. What difference would it have made?

 

[penkitten]

What's the back story? What happened previously?

 

[logicallefty]

Time to dig into her emails, texts, etc. if that is possible. She may have had one in the bullpen over in Europe already, and she just put him in to pitch instead of you.

 

[YawataNoKami]

She is cheating.

 

[bigneil]

How much did buying an overseas, overnight ticket cost? $2000??

Usually when women pick a fight over something small they are looking for an excuse to end it.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

OP, Id be interested to know what country you are both from? Ive had dealings with several European cultures (and females) and it would be good info to have.

Also if you did NOT act like an a'hole and you werent trying to bait her, then she obviously has some major issues and/or wanted to leave you for whatever reason.

I agree with other posts here - if she wanted to leave that badly and so quickly, she should have bought her own ticket.

Also how long have you been together, how long are you married and, overall, how has the relationship been to date (be honest).

 

[SgtSplacker]

I think you did everything right with the exception of buying her that ticket. Let her get pissed at that nonsense and throw her fit if she wants to then let her come to her senses and talk it out a bit. I don't like being questioned like that and as far as i'm concerned if she doesn't trust me then we have nothing I want to maintain. I don't want to have a life where I text my buddy then have to lay what I just did out there for some psycho biiiiitch's judgment. If she's thinking along those lines then maybe it's her skeezing around and feeling guilty about it. Either way never play ball and let her pitch a tent on the couch if she wants. Let her go home and explain to her parents why she's there, lol.

 

[way2smart]

UPDATE:

She didn't end up getting on the plane. Several hours later, after I dropped her off at the airport she calls me and starts to beg me to come back and to forgive her.
I ended up forgiving her and I drove her back home.

In reply to someone who suggested she is cheating, I am 100% certain she isn't. She is a traditional stay home wife who cooks dinner and looks after me and that's the way I like it. I don't like my woman to be independent. She is always submissive to me and always asks for my advice if she wants to do something.

Looking back, I may have been an ******* in this particular case, I could have just told her that I was texting a co-worker but I just wanted to tease her I guess.

This is the first incident I ever had with my wife. Other than this first incident, she was always very easy to deal with. She is always totally submissive to me and treats me like I am her alpha. She is the kind of wife who would get up early to cook some breakfast and have coffee ready for me by the time I wake up.

I think all is well now, other than the fact that I am in the hole for the plane ticket, since she missed her flight.

Thanks for all your replies.

 

[Skyline]

So here's what happened.
Me and my wife went to a restaurant, everything went well. Came home, watched a movie together.
Then we go to bed together. But I didn't want to sleep immediately so i exchanged some texts with my male co-worker about a project.

She said, are you texting? I said "yes". She asked who are you texting with? I said "somebody".

Next minute, she stands up and goes to sleep in the living room. So I go after her and tell her to come back. But she refused.

The next couple of days she doesn't talk to me much and I just ignored her this whole time.
Today she says to buy her a plane ticket to fly home (we are both from Europe in the US).

So I didn't try to persuade her to stay, I just bought her a plane ticket and dropped her off at the airport. On the way to the airport she cried a little about me not paying much attention and stuff but didn't back down from flying home.

What you did was indifference to the MAX. You literally just disposed of her, per her request, and didn't even try to make her stay. She wanted to leave so you made it easier for her, even though you're out whatever money that ticket was.

The power is definitely in your favor with this girl.

 

[exhausted]

UPDATE:

She didn't end up getting on the plane. Several hours later, after I dropped her off at the airport she calls me and starts to beg me to come back and to forgive her.
I ended up forgiving her and I drove her back home.

In reply to someone who suggested she is cheating, I am 100% certain she isn't. She is a traditional stay home wife who cooks dinner and looks after me and that's the way I like it. I don't like my woman to be independent. She is always submissive to me and always asks for my advice if she wants to do something.

Looking back, I may have been an ******* in this particular case, I could have just told her that I was texting a co-worker but I just wanted to tease her I guess.

This is the first incident I ever had with my wife. Other than this first incident, she was always very easy to deal with. She is always totally submissive to me and treats me like I am her alpha. She is the kind of wife who would get up early to cook some breakfast and have coffee ready for me by the time I wake up.

I think all is well now, other than the fact that I am in the hole for the plane ticket, since she missed her flight.

Thanks for all your replies.

My advice be appreciative you have a good wife man, I would do anything to find a good woman like that, we all would. Dont do anything that makes her feel uneasy or inferior. It is one thing to tease and goof around it is another to make her think you may be up to something.....Hopefully you both grow from this and your marriage is blessed from here on out....