Maintaining interest up till date

[Konada]

So I've been getting dates and I have hit a stumbling block. Thing is, I'm not always free every week for dates, so I have to set dates 1 1/2 to 2 weeks in advance. The main problem I'm having is maintaining interest up till the 1st date. How often do you contact them to keep yourself on their radar?

Let's be honest, no girl is gonna outright have extremely high interest from the get-go (much less OLD), looking forward to your opinions.

 

[RangerMIke]

The only sure way to build interest when a woman is not with you is to limit contact. She will wonder about you. Make a date... be specific time/place/you can let the activity be a mystery, but if you do this tell her what she should wear... then tell her if she doesn't hear from you assume everything is on. She most likely WILL reach out to you... because most guys don't do this, she will wonder about you and this will build attraction. If/when she does just respond quickly that it's still on and that you are looking forward to seeing her, then get off the phone. If she flakes.... oh well, this is what chicks do, don't take it personal and just move on to the next one.

I a word... limit contact, let her reach out to you and when she does, make it quick and get off the phone.

 

[Slash Dolo]

In my experience, you need to hit a sweet spot between unavailability and keeping just enough contact to keep her thinking. It also depends on how you meet these women. With girls you meet online, you need to up the contact because they have no investment in you whatsoever and other guys are giving them attention all the time. I like 4-5 texts a day here, spread out over the course of the day with no real pattern, and you need to stand out with these texts. But more or less depending on her interest, really. If you've met a girl at a party/club, you want to go with less contact than this. No more than a few texts a day, no less than 1 text every two days. Try to make the texts meaningful, funny, interesting; quality over quantity here.

If a girl is really disinterested, you can go a bit extreme and try to create intrigue. Text her with "I have a question" and then don't ask it until a day or two later. If she's still disinterested, next her. As far as calling goes, I generally don't like it unless it's super short, like 5-10 minutes.

 

[Konada]

Well that's my problem with online girls. I'm not a big fan of texting everyday so usually I limit my contact to once every 2 days where I send a funny picture or remark to get it going for awhile and then cut off the conversation.

On a side note: I have a date lined up with a chick from OLD 10 days from now (I'm really busy with my school, building my career and other personal stuff) and I started a conversation today and suddenly on a high she texts me 'I'll talk to you later '. Obviously I won't text her since the ball is in her court but this reeks of disinterest/blowoff, my gut feel tells me this isn't a **** test. Opinions?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Online dating is my sweet spot! Here's what you do:

1. Set the date up for a week in advance (does it really have to be THAT long before the date ALL the time??)
2. After you set the date, you say, "Great! Soooo.... in the meantime, u up for playing a little game?" She'll say "I dunno" or "sure!"
3. Ask her to play the game 20 questions with you. Simple rules: you ask her a question; she answers it, then she asks you a question. The rules are that both of you can ask anything you'd like. (Note: if she's game to play this, she's definitely got a pretty high starting interest in you).
4. For the next week, you play this game with her. Assuming you answer her questions at the right pace (and she answers yours as well), you should be asking/answering about 3 questions a day if your date with her is in a week, or 2 a day if it's within a week and a half.
5. The questions you start out with should be relatively tame in nature. As the game progresses, you can start asking questions that are a bit more... shall I say... "interesting." In other words: don't start off with sex questions: ask normal life questions first (what's your favorite color, best vacation you ever had, etc.) then around question 5 ask something slightly provocative (i.e. what kind of clothes do you like to sleep in), then a few more normal questions, then another more provocative question (i.e. wildest place you've ever THOUGHT about having sex), then a couple more normal questions, then a provocative question... you spread out the provocative questions so that she won't think you're just trying to get her in bed. At the same time, though, it allows her to start thinking about you in a sexual way. You'll really be able to tell how comfortable she is with you when she starts asking YOU these types of questions.
6. For the 20th question... one, don't make it a sexual one. Two, you can either ask her a question, or say something like "And question number 20.... actually, I think I'll ask that one in person " This will leave her wanting to know what the question is, thus upping her excitement at finally meeting you.

Note: I have done this game a few times with women online prior to meeting them. In each scenario, I was making out with them on the first date and banging them by (or before) the 2nd one. So.... yeah, definitely something to try out. Hope this helps!

 

[Slash Dolo]

Once every two days is far too little with a girl that has no physical investment or assessment of you. At the very least a couple of times a day you should be texting them if you want to maintain their interest.

As for that text, respond with 'k' and move on. Don't over-analyze or you'll fall into a trap of over-analyzing everything. I'm texting three girls right now, two I've met in public and one I met on OLD. Guess which one has the best chance of falling off? The OLD chick. I may as well not exist until we meet in person. You need to take a hunter's approach to OLD; move slowly and steadily until you nab the physical in person meet.

 

[RangerMIke]

None of what I said applied to OLD..... I have no idea what to do about that since I refuse to date on-line, or go on blind dates.

 

[bigneil]

"At the very least a couple of times a day you should be texting them if you want to maintain their interest"??

No way. You should only text her as often as she texts you. She should be initiating (i.e., sending the first text of the day) about 2-3 times per week.

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

At least in my experience, a woman should have enough interest on her own. You don't need to do anything to keep her attraction high other than plan dates and give her one or two fun and flirty responses when she does text you.

I suppose it also depends on what your goals are. If your goal is mostly just sex, then yeah, keeping her attention might be beneficial to your goal. If your goal is to find a stable woman for a long term relationship, then I would advise scheduling the date and then not worrying about if she flakes or not. If she's the kind of girl who needs the attention from guys she doesn't even know yet, that's not a good sign. Also, it gives you to chance to gauge how needy they are. Woman I went out with this week texted me all 3 days leading up to the date confirming and reconfirming our date even though I specified a clear date and time we both agreed to. Once we did meet up for the date, she was very needy, apologizing for everything, focusing on all kinds of relationship stuff instead of just having some fun. It was so bad I just had to end the date at only 8:00pm.

It sucks when a woman flakes on you, but think about. If you had a woman you wanted to see, would waiting a few days or even a week be too long for a first date? Of course not. If you had 3 women you had interest in who wanted to see you, you'd find time to see them all. Trust me, you don't want a woman who is extremely needy and insecure that she can't wait a few days for a first date. If a confident and high quality woman wants to see you but meet another guy, she's going to go out with both of you on different nights, not blow one of you off. Needy women are the ones who see one guy and immediately start planning their future and stop seeing everyone else just for a first date.

In the OP's case, 2 weeks is quite a long ways out for just a first day, at least IMO. If a woman said she wanted to meet me, but wasn't free for two weeks I'd be a little skeptical of her interest. I'd probably tell her that her schedule sounds pretty busy and that she should call me in a week or two when she's free to schedule something. So if you're having women flake OP, you should probably schedule something sooner than 2 weeks. You don't want to be too available, but being too unavailable is off putting too. The woman is probably thinking the same, that you're really not that into her or that you're just too busy of a person, so she's going to lose interest because of that.

 

[Slash Dolo]

"At the very least a couple of times a day you should be texting them if you want to maintain their interest"??

No way. You should only text her as often as she texts you. She should be initiating (i.e., sending the first text of the day) about 2-3 times per week.

Isn't that how texting works? Only texting her as often as she does you is a no brainer. But you should reply to her faster and more than you normally would. This is referring to OLD, and OLD is a different ballgame. This girl, having not met you, has ZERO investment in you. None. You may as well not exist until you are face to face. AND she has dozens to hundreds of guys trying to chat her up; guys that will be better looking, more interesting or will give her more attention than you. Trust me here, if you try to only respond a little bit here or there or are not interesting, you're going to be lost in the shuffle. You need to be sporadic in your texts, but you still need to text more than you normally would. At least a few times a day.

I've been texting a girl I met off Tinder. When I stopped responding was when I tried to make a date and she was making it difficult. Until they give you sh*t, keep texting them.

 

[Poon King]

Trying to "keep interest high until a date" is the mark of an insecure beta.

Listen.. if a woman is impressed enough with you to go out on a date.. then your work is done until that date happens. Yes.. DONE. Anything extra you do will look pathetic and insecure (which it is). Make the date, then don't contact her again until the day before to confirm.

NEVER chase after a woman's interest level. Only the most desperate faggot betas with next to no options need to do this. And women are fully aware of it too lol.