Is It Time To Dump This Chick?

[soulforge]

Been seeing this woman who i met on pof for about 3 months.. it started off casual, but recently we made it exclusive between us.

We have spent quite a bit of time with each other like GF and BF, but something in my gut instinct does not sit well with her.

Around a month ago she flaked on me for a date.. she sent me a text asking me if we could reschedule.. but she gave me no explanation why?? As it was the first flake i let it go, and just rescheduled..

Anyhow we was supposed to meet tomorrow night (saturday) and i got a text off her today, wanting to reschedule again!!!

Again with no explanation why!! This is the 2nd flake.. whats pissssed me off is, why no reason, explanation or even apology!

Also she is going for a night out tonight, and she has been acting quite suspicious, kept texting me today, about what time i am starting work tomorrow, what time i am finishing etc etc.

Almost like she is trying to fit something else in around me, and then she dicides last minute to reschedule.. something is off here..

Either she is meeting some other dude, or she has made other plans, and did not have the decency to give a reason..

I sent her a text back saying, ok can meet another time, and she sent me back this text.

''Yes maybe.. enjoy your night''

So guys i,m pretty certain about dumping her in the morning..

Dump her or ghost??

 

[dustmuffin]

I vote ghost.

 

[Cartman008]

Not knowing much about the last three months of what you two had this still sounds pretty suspicious on her part. I think the nail on the coffin for me though would be the "yes, maybe" reply.

 

[thatfeel]

I would go ghost and just completely act like you don't know her for a bit, then decide later on if you want anything more from her. The reason is because the bull**** way she is acting is basically her thinking it's okay to waste your time. THAT IS NOT OKAY! In any circumstance.

 

[soulforge]

I feel really disrespected guys, i made time from my busy schedule for this biiitch, and she has no decency to even apologise or explain why she cancled..

The last message she sent me was...

""Yes maybe, enjoy your night"


How about i text her in the morning...

"Or maybe not.. sorry i won't be seeing you again.. good luck"

Then go ghost on her ass

I feel fuking disrespected

 

[soulforge]

01. Two flakes without any explanation or apology.

02. Then she has the nerve to say 'maybe' when i text her back saying, will meet another time then.

03. Suspicious behaviour, possibly another guy involved.

04. Wasted my weekend, could have made other plans.

I think i need to get rid guys??

 

[soulforge]

Take a deep breath.

Right now you're letting your emotions get the best of you. This is not what a strong grown ass man does. He takes a step back and analyzes the situation un-emotionally.

Just dont respond to her. Act aloof, be mysterious, plan other things without worrying about her. Then if she wants to go out one night and you have stuff planned, let her know. If she says anything about it, say "I'll try to fit you in another time" and leave it at that. This will make her wanting you to cave but you never will. Then you can decide what to do from there. Just give it a few days so you stop being so irrational and emotional.

Man this place is so effing confusing.. we are constantly hearing about 'never tolorate or put up with disrespect'

Always NEXT a girl for flaking... two strikes and your out policy and so on..

 

[thatfeel]

Niccolo Machiavelli: "Your mind is extreme, you must train it to be otherwise."

 

[soulforge]

Well she has texted me tonight.. she is out drinking, on a night out.

Why the hell is she texting me tonight, telling me she has found a new tune, and what do i think of it?

I ignored her, so then she text me again, asking me what i,m upto tonight.. i ignored it..


And she texted again saying "hello"

Seems like her hamster is spinning!!

My guess is she wants to keep me on the hook, till she has this other branch in place to swing to...

So far i have ignored her.. i,m thinking maybe i should go ghost from here on.. or should i text her in morning and officially end it???


01. She flaked twice, without giving a reason why, no explanation.

02. Suspicious behaviour last couple of days

03. Had the balls to tell me MAYBE when i said could meet another time

04. Wasted my time, i have a busy work scedhule, so weekends are important to me

05. Possible dude in the picture, and ready to branch swing, while stringing me along


Dump her or just keep ignoring and vanish?

 

[penkitten]

Oh dude... next her already.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Aight, so... by now you know we're all against flaking, and it is usually NOT a good sign of things to come...

With that said, however, I have also learned that when people get into a relationship, a major mistake a lot of GUYS actually make is feeling like they need to see the girl they're dating every single day. Now, I don't know if this is your situation, but I would be curious to know how often a week you two see each other on average. If it's more than 4 days a week, then this would simply be a case of a girl wanting time away from you but not knowing how to tell you without you getting angry about it (because even in a relationship, a person needs time to be around other people). If, on the other hand, you've only been seeing her once or twice a week up until this point and she flaked on a date, then you'd be in your right to start worrying about why she's flaking.

In either case, there's no need to act hostile towards her, or start pouting about it (which is what your messages to us are sounding like). You know your situation better than us; re-read the two scenarios of your dating situation I mentioned in the previous paragraph, and act accordingly. Hope this helps!

 

[Aesthetix29]

Bro I've been in this situation many times and I can practically guarantee that there was another guy involved whether it was physically or just texting, and she's drip feeding you texts every so often to keep you on the back burner. My 2 cents

I like to think of myself as a decent guy ... Too nice perhaps and that's my downfall right there ... I think I'm way too predictable and that's not appealing to women, so I am trying to change and not give a general **** about what women think .. And we'll see where that takes me.

 

[soulforge]

Bro I've been in this situation many times and I can practically guarantee that there was another guy involved whether it was physically or just texting, and she's drip feeding you texts every so often to keep you on the back burner. My 2 cents

I like to think of myself as a decent guy ... Too nice perhaps and that's my downfall right there ... I think I'm way too predictable and that's not appealing to women, so I am trying to change and not give a general **** about what women think .. And we'll see where that takes me.

This is how i feel too.. think i,m bieng too nice.. i only see her once every two weeks or so..

So my mind is made up.. i,m getting rid of her..


The question is?? Dump her, or just ghost on her???

What is the best way.. she has texted me 3 times already but i ignored her.. shall i keep ignoring her, and let that hamster spin....

 

[Aesthetix29]

This is how i feel too.. think i,m bieng too nice.. i only see her once every two weeks or so..

So my mind is made up.. i,m getting rid of her..


The question is?? Dump her, or just ghost on her???

What is the best way.. she has texted me 3 times already but i ignored her.. shall i keep ignoring her, and let that hamster spin....

Honestly bro, kick her a** to the curb .. Going ghost (NC) is for your benefit, where as dumping her will make her think. Eg. You're not scared to walk away, you have other options etc.. Dumping her will make you come across as ALPHA.

 

[Reykhel]

Been seeing this woman who i met on pof for about 3 months.. it started off casual, but recently we made it exclusive between us.

We have spent quite a bit of time with each other like GF and BF, but something in my gut instinct does not sit well with her.

Around a month ago she flaked on me for a date.. she sent me a text asking me if we could reschedule.. but she gave me no explanation why?? As it was the first flake i let it go, and just rescheduled..

Anyhow we was supposed to meet tomorrow night (saturday) and i got a text off her today, wanting to reschedule again!!!

Again with no explanation why!! This is the 2nd flake.. whats pissssed me off is, why no reason, explanation or even apology!

Also she is going for a night out tonight, and she has been acting quite suspicious, kept texting me today, about what time i am starting work tomorrow, what time i am finishing etc etc.

Almost like she is trying to fit something else in around me, and then she dicides last minute to reschedule.. something is off here..

Either she is meeting some other dude, or she has made other plans, and did not have the decency to give a reason..

I sent her a text back saying, ok can meet another time, and she sent me back this text.

''Yes maybe.. enjoy your night''

So guys i,m pretty certain about dumping her in the morning..

Dump her or ghost??

"Being seeing this cvnt who I met on POF for about 3 months" NEXT! Seriously, it's so easy for women to get laid. All they have to do is go out and they're hit on. So why would a woman need to be on POF? Manufacturing fault. She has something wrong with her on a fundamental level. But that's ok....it is what it is, but I wouldn't take her seriously. She's an occasional bit of fun. But when it stops being fun...or when she starts being a nuisance. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

"As it was the first flake i let it go, and just rescheduled.." IMO this was your mistake. Women are a reflection of our behaviours and it seems you demonstrated a weak boundary here. What could you have done? Punish inappropriate behviour? withdraw your precious time? Make it known that you don't appreciate flakes? She sensed the weak boundary and lost some respect....and of course inevitably flaked again. Why wouldn't she. It was ok the first time, why wouldn't it be again...

From the sound of your post you want to get rid of her.....but there is some doubt in your decision. Is this coming from a lack of options because you've put all of your eggs in to this basket (case)?

Exclusive after 3 months?? Was she invested enough for you to agree to go exclusive? It doesn't sound like it.

It's easier to start again with someone new....a clean slate. Fvck this pof cvnt

 

[soulforge]

"Being seeing this cvnt who I met on POF for about 3 months" NEXT! Seriously, it's so easy for women to get laid. All they have to do is go out and they're hit on. So why would a woman need to be on POF? Manufacturing fault. She has something wrong with her on a fundamental level. But that's ok....it is what it is, but I wouldn't take her seriously. She's an occasional bit of fun. But when it stops being fun...or when she starts being a nuisance. You are the weakest link, goodbye.

"As it was the first flake i let it go, and just rescheduled.." IMO this was your mistake. Women are a reflection of our behaviours and it seems you demonstrated a weak boundary here. What could you have done? Punish inappropriate behviour? withdraw your precious time? Make it known that you don't appreciate flakes? She sensed the weak boundary and lost some respect....and of course inevitably flaked again. Why wouldn't she. It was ok the first time, why wouldn't it be again...

From the sound of your post you want to get rid of her.....but there is some doubt in your decision. Is this coming from a lack of options because you've put all of your eggs in to this basket (case)?

Exclusive after 3 months?? Was she invested enough for you to agree to go exclusive? It doesn't sound like it.

It's easier to start again with someone new....a clean slate. Fvck this pof cvnt

UPDATE

First of all i agree.. the first time she flaked, i should have made it known i did not appreciate that kinda behaviour.. but that flake took place, when i was just seeing her casual and i didn't care much.. so i did not make a deal of it..

Also the whole exclusivity thing, she bought up the issue..

Now events have got even stranger..


A little background info about this weekend.. we was supposed to be spending the weekend together at the lake district, but due to the hotel bieng fully booked it had to be cancled..

She assumed we might still be spending the weekend together.. come wednesday i checked my work rota and realised they had put me down for work on saturday..

She sent me a text later that day, and asked me what day will i be seeing her..

My text to her..

Just checked me rota and realised they have put me down for work on Saturday.. not happy about that.. how about you come over Saturday night, and we can go out for a meal or a movie.. and then just chill on sunday..

Her.. ok sure that sounds good x

So basicly i was pretty straight forward with her.. where as she has flaked without even having the courtesy to tell me why..


So last night she send me 3 text messages and i ignored them all, now this morning i got this text off her..


Morning.. how have u gone from spending the weekend in the lake district, to only seeing me on Saturday, and now ignoring my text messages


How wierd.. its her who cancled Saturday, and when i texted her back that day and said..

Ok will meet up another time x

I get this reply..

Maybe... enjoy the vodka xx

 

[stevo]

i texted her back that day and said..

Ok will meet up another time x

I get this reply..

Maybe... enjoy the vodka xx

Hahaha so predictable.

Dude, you went NC and broke NC with a promise of a future date, not good. You don't chase especially not after her bad behavior. My response would have been "what do you want?"

She's throws out a bait and you keep falling for it.

For the next two weeks forget about this girl, if you use an iphone, block her number then unblock her number in two weeks. If she still initiates, you invite her over, no much texting.

She's playing hard to get now because at some point you've shown some weakness like showing strong emotions too early, acting like you have no other option, going exclusive without knowing her.

Knock her off her high horse by moving on and putting her in her place.

Also you shouldn't be so worried about her flaking or her reasons for flaking, it doesn't matter. Your life doesn't stop for her.

 

[soulforge]

Hahaha so predictable.

Dude, you went NC and broke NC with a promise of a future date, not good. You don't chase especially not after her bad behavior. My response would have been "what do you want?"

She's throws out a bait and you keep falling for it.

For the next two weeks forget about this girl, if you use an iphone, block her number then unblock her number in two weeks. If she still initiates, you invite her over, no much texting.

She's playing hard to get now because at some point you've shown some weakness like showing strong emotions too early, acting like you have no other option, going exclusive without knowing her.

Knock her off her high horse by moving on and putting her in her place.

Also you shouldn't be so worried about her flaking or her reasons for flaking, it doesn't matter. Your life doesn't stop for her.

Dude u got then wrong end of the stick.. that convo happend on friday night, i have ignored her since

 

[narcissist]

How wierd.. its her who cancled Saturday, and when i texted her back that day and said..

Ok will meet up another time x

I get this reply..

Maybe... enjoy the vodka xx

Why would you say this: "Ok will meet up another time x"

You even gave her a kiss. Dude that ****ing pathetic.

Should have never broke NC.

 

[Reykhel]

Dude u got then wrong end of the stick.. that convo happend on friday night, i have ignored her since

You have several options open to you depending on what you want...

From your post it sounds as if you like her but you're stuck in a "what should I do" mode as her behaviour is
not exactly matching your expectations (of what a person should communicate in such a situation as rescheduling or rearranging).

My ruthless head says "chick from Pof, bye"

I'll put my relationship cap on for a minute: IMO most problems in human relationships are down to bad communication. I would even say that the majority of people are bad communicators or maybe we just misunderstand each other a lot. If you want to stay in the ring with this one...which it sounds like you do and that's your perogative....invite her out for a glass of wine and tell her you want to talk to her about something....actually set it up so she thinks your going to dump her so she'll have some anxiety going into the conversation......you'll find out where her interest level is......simply tell her 1. you want to clear the air 2. the two of you may have got your wires crossed 3. You are a person who thinks clear communication is important..

Obviously I don't have to tell you to keep your frame throughout and get her to invest into the new frame....

If she doesn't like it.....there you'll have your answer...

whatever way it goes....I don't think any of this is really a big deal....do you?