Girlfriend doesn't understand appropriate relationship behaviour.

[adviceneeded]

I have been with my girlfriend for close to 3 years and i am seriously considering ending the relationship as these issues keep occuring and i'd like opinions whether i'm overreacting or not.


Near the start of our relationship i went to the beach with her and a group of her friends and co-workers, i went in the sea with some of the guys while my girlfriend sunbathed. When i came back one of her co-workers was giving her a massage. I was annoyed but didn't want to make a scene so ignored it, then after a while i hear my girlfriend shout "oi" and i find out later on that this guy had pulled her bikini bottoms down (not fully) yet after this she still let him continue massaging her. She told me afterwards that she needed someone to rub suncream on her back but i was in the sea so she let this guy do it instead and she seemed genuinely surprised that i was mad.


The 2nd incident we were at a friends house drinking and my friend stole her seat while she was standing up, he doesn't move so she sits on his lap to annoy him. Then at the exact same time i notice that she turns around to look at him with a smile on her face and he's smiling too but they don't say anything and it's obvious that he got an erection. Still she stays on his lap and doesn't think of moving. When i confront her afterwards she tells me that she didn't think it was that bigof a deal but assures me that it wouldn't happen again.


Shortly after she moves in with me, a couple of my friends are at the house when our ocado delivery arrives, my girlfriend proceeds to walk out of the bedroom in just a bra and thong while she looks what has arrived and stands there for a good minute or two giving my friends a show. I tried telling her how inappropriate this was but she didn't understand and said she should feel free to walk around her home in her underwear and that she was only checking if certain things had been delivered or not and again she told me it wouldn't happen again but still didn't think it was a big deal.


The 4th incident we were at a club and my girlfriend was wearing this tight dress which was getting her a lot of attention and these drunk guys approached her while she was dancing with her friends, now granted my girlfriend was drunk too but she had no objection and was all smiles as these guys are almost fighting over who gets to grind on her ass. She once again didn't think it was a big deal and told me that's how everyone dances in clubs. We came close to splitting up after this but she pleaded and convinced me that she wouldn't do anything to hurt me again.


We've been going to the gym together more often recently and i've noticed how she is happy for random guys to interrupt her workout and she will stand around talking to them for ages and she must know that these guys are not talking to her because they want to make a friend. I haven't talked to her about it because i have no evidence of any flirting so she could turn it around on me and call me insecure, or a hypocrite because i'm friendly with one of the female trainers.


She uploaded some pics on facebook and one of them was of her friend with one arm around her and his other hand intimately holding her arm. Anyone looking at the pic would assume that he is her boyfriend and i just feel so disrespected and i feel like she is a puppy pushing boundaries who constantly needs to be told how to behave and i'm getting sick of it.


I have had some trust issues because of all this so i've checked her phone and other than one borderline inappropriate conversation a couple of years ago she has proved herself trustworthy and handled it well when guys have been hitting on her so i do feel like she has good intentions, but questionable morals considering how she has behaved. I don't know whether to lose an otherwise perfect girlfriend over this.
Opinions?

 

[zonn]

Does she allow you to behave in the same way with other girls?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dude, that's a h0e... Many of us have been in the same predicament. It's OK as long as you are truthful to what it really is.

 

[adviceneeded]

I wouldn't behave the same way with other girls, but she wouldn't be happy if I did.

 

[adviceneeded]

I'm aware that she craves a lot of male attention, but I think she has a good heart and don't believe she would cheat.

 

[zonn]

I'm aware that she craves a lot of male attention, but I think she has a good heart and don't believe she would cheat.

Its obviously causing much pain in the heart and mentally in the head. Given that do you think its probably better not to be involved in such a situation? You are a human being and every healthy person would feel uneasy in such a situation. Better a scenaro which does not cause you upset of the mind? Some might suggest even singledom won't cause as much pain.

 

[Fireballs]

No girl is that naive..

She knows exactly what she is doing. Girls will ALWAYS see how much you will let them get away with. They will forever test you especially when they sense weakness. It's not their fault, it's just the way they're wired.

 

[GS750]

I have been with my girlfriend for close to 3 years and i am seriously considering ending the relationship as these issues keep occuring and i'd like opinions whether i'm overreacting or not.


Near the start of our relationship i went to the beach with her and a group of her friends and co-workers, i went in the sea with some of the guys while my girlfriend sunbathed. When i came back one of her co-workers was giving her a massage. :nono: A guy???? With you there? Wow.I was annoyed but didn't want to make a scene so ignored it, then after a while i hear my girlfriend shout "oi" and i find out later on that this guy had pulled her bikini bottoms down (not fully) yet after this she still let him continue massaging her. She knew this would get under your skin. Also...a sign of things to come. She told me afterwards that she needed someone to rub suncream on her back but i was in the sea so she let this guy do it instead and she seemed genuinely surprised that i was mad. Right. And I'm playing linebacker for the Patriots. She knew.


The 2nd incident we were at a friends house drinking and my friend stole her seat while she was standing up, he doesn't move so she sits on his lap to annoy him. This chick gets a rise out of being a c0ck tease. Teasing this guy and teasing you. Then at the exact same time i notice that she turns around to look at him with a smile on her face and he's smiling too but they don't say anything and it's obvious that he got an erection. I'm beginning to wonder if this is a troll post...Still she stays on his lap and doesn't think of moving. When i confront her afterwards she tells me that she didn't think it was that bigof a deal but assures me that it wouldn't happen again. Again, she knew. And she'll do it again.


Shortly after she moves in with me Mistake. You moved in with this girl? , a couple of my friends are at the house when our ocado delivery arrives, my girlfriend proceeds to walk out of the bedroom in just a bra and thong while she looks what has arrived and stands there for a good minute or two giving my friends a show. This girl is a 100% bona fide attention wh0re to the 10th power I tried telling her how inappropriate this was but she didn't understand and said she should feel free to walk around her home in her underwear and that she was only checking if certain things had been delivered or not and again she told me it wouldn't happen again but still didn't think it was a big deal. This girl seems to enjoy teasing you and trying to piss you off


The 4th incident we were at a club and my girlfriend was wearing this tight dress which was getting her a lot of attention and these drunk guys approached her while she was dancing with her friends, now granted my girlfriend was drunk too but she had no objection and was all smiles as these guys are almost fighting over who gets to grind on her ass. Slvtty behavior with you present. She has no respect for you She once again didn't think it was a big deal and told me that's how everyone dances in clubs. She should know its a big deal. If she doesn't she's an idiotWe came close to splitting up after this but she pleaded and convinced me that she wouldn't do anything to hurt me again. Right. Never again.


We've been going to the gym together more often recently and i've noticed how she is happy for random guys to interrupt her workout and she will stand around talking to them for ages and she must know that these guys are not talking to her because they want to make a friend. She knows that they want to fvck her and she loves the attention. It's like a drug to her I haven't talked to her about it because i have no evidence of any flirting so she could turn it around on me and call me insecure, or a hypocrite because i'm friendly with one of the female trainers. Are you giving the female trainer full body massages and letting her sit on your lap?


She uploaded some pics on facebook and one of them was of her friend with one arm around her and his other hand intimately holding her arm. Social media attention wh0ring. Anyone looking at the pic would assume that he is her boyfriend and i just feel so disrespected This girl has a pattern of disrespecting you and i feel like she is a puppy pushing boundaries who constantly needs to be told how to behave and i'm getting sick of it. Now you're getting sick of it. You have infinite patience my friend


I have had some trust issues because of all this so i've checked her phone and other than one borderline inappropriate conversation a couple of years ago she has proved herself trustworthy and handled it well when guys have been hitting on her so i do feel like she has good intentions, but questionable morals considering how she has behaved. Sounds about right I don't know whether to lose an otherwise perfect girlfriend over this.
Opinions?

You've put up with a lot more than most guys would have. It's obviously causing you pain and discomfort. She is not going to stop, count on it. So to save yourself from any more I think you know what you need to do. How can you be in a relationship with someone who blatantly disrespects you on a consistent basis?

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm thinking gangbang.

 

[NSX-R]

Do what you want, but I'll tell you this and then you can decide: she is NO puppy.

Your girl is doing these things on purpose, and she'll act all innocent and all "oh I didn't know that's what I was doing!" around you, but in her head she's laughing and saying "ha what an idiot!" She's playing you so well right now.

If it was me, any time she disrespects you more than twice she's gone (if in a serious LTR like you, a relationship less than 4 months old and the first disrespect she's out).
But I'm not you. Tell her, if she disrespects you again in that way, she's gone, or just keep it to yourself and the next time she does it drop her.

Exactly this. That first incident was a bit too much and it happened at your presence ,in your place i would be very mad ad i would had said a few words with this guy .

 

[Desdinova]

Why in hell are you still with her? She shouldn't have made it past the 6 month mark, and you guys have been together for 3 years? And living together?

This is 100% disrespect, and she's obviously not going to change.

Read this:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=229056

 

[Bible_Belt]

Dude, that's a h0e... Many of us have been in the same predicament. It's OK as long as you are truthful to what it really is.

Until the OP learns that most women are wh0res, they are going to continue to walk all over him and stomp on his heart.

 

[devilkingx2]

unless your gf is very, very innocent, like sheltered nun or 12 years old innocent or she used to be ugly most of her life so she's not used to anyone taking sexual interest in her. then she's being an attention ***** and wondering how lucky she is that she has a bf who will let her blatantly flirt with any and every guy she can

 

[SamTheHobit]

Guaranteed she is banging other guys. Good luck with this one.

 

[Serenity]

I don't see more than jealousy in this. If she keeps coming back to you and don't cross the actual line of kissing or anything more serious I wouldn't bother. Yeah obviously these guys get fooled, but do they ever really get anything? By what you say they don't because you're the one she wants and you have to trust that. If she's putting effort into hitting on guys I would be worried, but as long as they hit on her and she stops them going beyond touching I don't see the problem.

I have a girlfriend and other women touch me, sometimes borderline inappropriate. I don't have a problem with it and neither does she, I know I want my girlfriend and she knows I want her. It's trust.

 

[Poon King]

If you have to eat sh!t from a woman to keep her.. then isn't worth keeping. Learn to spin more plates and have higher standards.

Women are not loyal.. so only jackass betas are dumb enough to stay in an unsatisfying relationship for the sake of loyalty. This b!tch is clearly not doing it for you, so get another one. Pretty simple.

 

[sph21]

You need to have higher standards. If you don't have enough respect of yourself, why would she respect you more than you respect yourself?

She might make you think that she's not innocent. Nope, she's not stupid. She will use a silly game just to test your strength. Will you put up with it or stand up like a real men do. If you're too weak, she'll dump you or keep you around to be her toy.

Do you know why nice guys finish last? Because they are too weak to have a courage to say "no" to every disrespectful behaviour.

Don't try to change her. You'll waste your time doing so.

 

[SeymourCake]

She seems like a huge nutcase. I would cut her off immediately and focus on yourself and read the DJ Bible. After reading and understanding the DJ Bible, and getting into the Don Juan mindframe, I would start mingling with new women.

I've noticed that almost all the incidents you've mentioned involved some form of kino between her and the guys she's flirting with. This is a huge sign that it will lead to sexual actions. I would not be surprised if she is having sex behind your back. This is more than three strikes. By the second strike, you should have prepared your break up with her.

She is being a huge attention wh0re and you're basically being a cuckold. Grab your balls and end it now, cut off all contact and move on with your life. As a man, you're not supposed to tolerate this nonsensical behavior of a female that's supposedly in a relationship with you.

 

[stevo]

Do you guys have sex regularly? Do you dominate her when you fcuk her? I'm just curious why she would be turned on by sexual advancement from other men.

Let the last time she disrespected you, be the last time. It seems you don't get angry enough, you forgive too easy and have basically become a pushover at this point.

For now, any little thing she does that you don't like I want you to flip the fcuk out, act like its the biggest thing ever. Give the beech a hard time, she seems bored.

Next time she does the flirty thing, don't even get mad, don't talk about it, fcuk her first then call the sheet off or mentally downgrade her to a fcuk buddy and start spinning plates.

She could make a good fcuk buddy, just not a girlfriend.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

I'm aware that she craves a lot of male attention, but I think she has a good heart and don't believe she would cheat.

Brilliant. So she displays disrespectful behaviour and then makes you feel like a chump for calling her on it.
She slowly instills in you, that her behaviour is 'innocent' and that it's 'you' who have the problem.
Bit by bit, piece by piece she gets you to start questioning yourself. This is the beginning of the end.
I'll probably get flamed for saying this, but to me, guys like you deserve to be cuckholded and cheated on. That sounds harsh but let me explain:
- You start out smart, involved, engaged and switched on in your relationship.
- These seemingly minor interactions she does, start to erode you and erode your self esteem and self worth.
- You start to question the relationship. You come on here for advice.
- You can't be sure how else she behaves when you're not around.
- You tolerate it and qualify her as a non cheater to placate the situation.
- She dominates you and lowers your worth in her eyes.

That's when a lot of guys will see this, see you as weak and make a move on 'your' girl.

If a woman I knew sat on a guys lap and that guy had a hard on, I would take strict and quick action.

Advise her that you will no longer tolerate any transgressions for her, WHATSOEVER, set strict boundaries and walk away if she does wrong, OR

get a new shiny beta status that she can stamp on your forehead.
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