Date with my ex-girlfriend. Advice

[ethann]

Hi,

So here is the short story: My ex-girlfriend felt "stressed" in march and basically she broke up with me. Since then, she sent me some sms. Last week I met her, we talked and we kissed (just kisses she did not me allow to do more...). She told me she is confudes.

In general, she does not seem to pay attention to me. When I tell her to date she always has a problem, I have been more or less like a nice guy.

But today we will date again. How would you act? I'd like to have sex with her, but at the same time I do not know if I should act in another way, just avoiding sex and telling her "you have to clear your mind". Do not know, I would back with her as girlfriend, if not, i would not care to have sex with her sometimes. But above all, I want to increase my value as a man and it seems it is my opportunity. Advices? Thank you!!

Looking forward your answers.

PS: I feel good I do not have now strong Oneitis.

 

[ethann]

No advice? In 1 hour i'll be with her... :O

 

[Eljuego]

Hi,

So here is the short story: My ex-girlfriend felt "stressed" in march and basically she broke up with me. Since then, she sent me some sms. Last week I met her, we talked and we kissed (just kisses she did not me allow to do more...). She told me she is confudes.

In general, she does not seem to pay attention to me. When I tell her to date she always has a problem, I have been more or less like a nice guy.

But today we will date again. How would you act? I'd like to have sex with her, but at the same time I do not know if I should act in another way, just avoiding sex and telling her "you have to clear your mind". Do not know, I would back with her as girlfriend, if not, i would not care to have sex with her sometimes. But above all, I want to increase my value as a man and it seems it is my opportunity. Advices? Thank you!!

Looking forward your answers.

PS: I feel good I do not have now strong Oneitis.

Girls with high interest do not get "confused".

You say she does not pay attention to you......low interest, taking you for granted.

She's low interested but she hasn't got the balls to say adios or she is stringing you along until another turkey shows up.

You want to increase your value?

Here's what I'd do: cancel the date now. Pull the plug on it at the last minute something came up.

She won't be expecting that. Shake things up. Then go ghost. See if she gets back to you.....

If she doesn't and you feel like it (I wouldn't as her interest is not there, I prefer to just close the door and move on) throw her a text in a week.

 

[ethann]

Thank you El juego.

I do not have the balls to cancel the date. Let's say I am going to the date, how would you behave? Any advice? I think direct contact is good. Here's what I'll do that maybe can work. I'll go, we will talk, and I'll listen to her, if she says she is still confused I'll say ok, it's enough. And i´ll go ghost and move on. My behaviour will passive if that happens (i'll just answer her sms, because i am sure she'll throw more).

And i'll keep reading DJ bible .

Thanks!

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Yeah El summed it up pretty well, that "stress" in March was probably another guy giving her tingles so she dumped you. Now that it didn't pan out, he dumped & pumped or whatever she's just going back and using you for validation/attention etc.

Cut this "we will talk" bs out, it's pointless the RS is dead. She thought about it well in advance before dumping you. Move on brother, fresh new plates in your future!

 

[ethann]

A short update: we dated, we had fun, and I f*** her. I have to admit she is gorgeous. Now I went ghost. It is hard to say, but I think maybe she is that 1% of strange girls that do not dump you from another guy (btw i dumped her because she was not paying attention to me). She told me she has not been with another guy after we break up nor she wanted to meet anyone. Maybe she is lying, I would be surprised if so... Do not really know.

Now I will deal with all of this, I accept this can finish soon. In the meanwhile I'll try to enjoy. However, I'll stop trying to f*** another girls, though I'll keep spinning plates. Suggestions? Now I wont sms her, I'll leave her to do her plans and I wont propose doing things togheter.

Cheers,

 

[dagreatgrizz23]

Girls with high interest do not get "confused".

You say she does not pay attention to you......low interest, taking you for granted.

She's low interested but she hasn't got the balls to say adios or she is stringing you along until another turkey shows up.

You want to increase your value?

Here's what I'd do: cancel the date now. Pull the plug on it at the last minute something came up.

She won't be expecting that. Shake things up. Then go ghost. See if she gets back to you.....

If she doesn't and you feel like it (I wouldn't as her interest is not there, I prefer to just close the door and move on) throw her a text in a week.

So had this kid taken your advice he wouldn't have pounded this chick... This is why you cannot take this website too seriously. It has it's pros and cons.

 

[gravityeyelids]

So had this kid taken your advice he wouldn't have pounded this chick... This is why you cannot take this website too seriously. It has it's pros and cons.

What you're saying is like the kid at the Hold'Em table that doesn't know what he's doing and plays trips or a full house the same way he plays low pairs (77, 66, 88). And then when his low pair finally wins him a pot he goes "SEEEE this is why i play these pairs even though you tell me not to!" even though he's already sacrificed half his stack chasing sh1tty hands and basic strategy says to fold those hands and he's going to go broke in the long run. Just because something pays off once does NOT mean it's wise in the long run. Good players know that there is a proper way to play strategically and playing consistently, keeping focus, and analyzing the odds will ALWAYS build your bankroll better than simply getting lucky and being impulsive.

If what he's saying is true, then she still has him by the balls and has all the power. Fvcking her doesn't make things better, it makes it worse. Now he goes "well i got laid so i must be doing well". NO. Forget about this chick and find a better girl that is not going to jerk you around like a doggy on a leash. She's not the 1% dude. Get over her.

Honestly though what OP is saying doesn't make much sense and he sounds like a troll. First he says she dumped HIM because she was "stressed"?? And then he says he dumped her because she wasn't paying him any attention???

 

[Flex Luther]

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em.. Know when to walk away, know when to run" haha!
No..gravityeyelids is right.
Very similar situation with my ex. Checked the forum for advice and was given the same as you have. Ignored it because I'm getting laid, having fun etc. The ljbf speech was just around the corner. All that happened was my value lowered in her eyes.
If you want her back then go ghost, or at least be nonchalant when you occasionally respond,until her interest level and anxiety are peaked. Don't stop looking at other girls.

 

[ethann]

Hi again,

@gravityeyelids: why to say i am a troll? I wanted to make the history short, you can search another thread I posted some time ago about this same girl.
Maybe I did not explain myself right: I dumped her in the sense I was the one who said "we cannot be like this" because she was not paying to me attention. And I did that trying to rise up her interest. Theoretically I dumped her but the real truth is that she dumped me. I felt really bad two months after the break, REALLY BAD, but finally it ended up with her coming back again. Also, I am not a kid, I am 31.

@Flex Luther: How did you end up with your ex? Did you back some time or what? Thanks.

In addition, I think the best thing to do was what Eljuego suggested, but I really wanted sex with that girl. Now I am doing what Flex Luther said. And I have to say she may be an exception, especially because she was not with another guy during this time. She is a kind of "rare" woman. I am not saying she is not seeing me with low interest. Let's see what happen, I am taking this as an experiment.

Thank you all for your comments! I appreciate them. I´ll keep posting, maybe this case serves to other guys.

Cheers.

 

[ethann]

Well, I want to comment the final of the history here, maybe it can help to newbies. She finally left me again, the sentence was "I do not want to feel responsible of you feeling bad, I think we should stop seeing each other".
At the end, I should have done what ElJuego said at the beginning of this thread. Girls that do take you for granted are a waste of time, it is better to move on if you have some kind of oneitis (as I had). Be a man always!

 

[marmel75]

Don't go on dates with her. Do not try and get her back as your girlfriend. Be up front with her and let her know she can be a fvck buddy, nothing more, and keep working on more options.

She is simply using you for validation and an who boost temporarily and will be gone as soon as she finds someone else.

 

[Desdinova]

She told me she is confudes.

When women say they're "confused", they really are because you're on the exact same level as every other guy currently interested in her. You need to become more interesting, more fun, and more valuable than every other guy she knows. This raises her interest level and she no longer becomes confused because you're the clear winner.

 

[NSX-R]

She broke up with you .
There is not something more disrespectful than this in my books .
Ooh you are trying to get back with her ? That's really sad . See you in a couple of months begging SS for some advice about this chick breaking up with you again.

 

[marmel75]

So had this kid taken your advice he wouldn't have pounded this chick... This is why you cannot take this website too seriously. It has it's pros and cons.

Any guy who sacrifices their self respect and dignity for some pvssy needs this site more than you think. It's a horrible trade off and only something someone with no options would consider.

OP you make no sense...how can you not Fvck other chicks but "keep spinning plates". Spinning plates means you are fvcking multiple women. Stop having one-itis. Move on with your life. This will end badly for you, you have willingly given her all the power and what's worse is she knows it.

 

[marmel75]

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em.. Know when to walk away, know when to run" haha!
No..gravityeyelids is right.
Very similar situation with my ex. Checked the forum for advice and was given the same as you have. Ignored it because I'm getting laid, having fun etc. The ljbf speech was just around the corner. All that happened was my value lowered in her eyes.
If you want her back then go ghost, or at least be nonchalant when you occasionally respond,until her interest level and anxiety are peaked. Don't stop looking at other girls.

Exactly. Was trading your self respect and dignity worth fvcking her a few more times? To me, no woman is worth that.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You ****ed her. Great.

Now go have sex with other women and forget about her. Let her do the chasing. She'll be begging you for more sex in a few weeks.

If you want to never have sex with her again, keep calling her and talk about how you want to date her again.

 

[ethann]

Guys! Do not missunderstand me. I just updated the post. I am not waiting for her anymore, I had oneitis. I just wanted to let you know that I made a mistake, I begged her, but I NEEDED to have that mistake, that happened 5 months ago. Now I have learned the lesson, that´s all. For the newbies, read all the thread and (also the answers' dates) and you will understand what I was trying to mean.

Aside from that, there is a lot of stuff i need to learn, but at least now I now what is bad.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Guys! Do not missunderstand me. I just updated the post. I am not waiting for her anymore, I had oneitis. I just wanted to let you know that I made a mistake, I begged her, but I NEEDED to have that mistake, that happened 5 months ago. Now I have learned the lesson, that´s all. For the newbies, read all the thread and (also the answers' dates) and you will understand what I was trying to mean.

Aside from that, there is a lot of stuff i need to learn, but at least now I now what is bad.

Yeah man, I know what you mean. Nothing like having a car accident to know why you should drive carefully.

 

[yungballa]

It's good that you learned.

Almost 99.9% of the time when a girl comes back to you after dumping you; she's just trying to see if you're in her reach just to stroke her ego/for validation. She doesn't honestly feel for you. She just wants to confirm she still has a grip on you. That's all. She could care less about you.

You're right, newbies should read threads like these. They should learn from sitautions like these (because sh1t like this is too common with females) and learn from these mistakes so that they don't have to go through them.