ELMER_GANTRY
Don Juan
When you get dumped by your BPD, you probably are looking for some type of closure. Your head is spinning, while you heart is aching, as you are left in a world of pain and confusion. You wonder what the hell just happened, just sitting there all alone trying to replay everything that just went down. Your BPD will have projected all her faults on to you, turning you into the bad guy, even though it was all her doing. You see, you are the mirror she is looking into as she projects everything she hates about herself at you. It's what I like to call the "Mirror Identity Function" she identifies herself looking at you, envisioning everything about herself. So, she has you believing that you were the cause of everything when you never were.
A BPD will never give you the closure that you are looking for because she will never admit to being at fault. She can't handle this type of admission because of her fragile mind and ego. This is why she will show no remorse and move on to the next guy like nothing has ever happened. If you do get a chance to try to get some closure, you will get the blame for everything. She will use a couple of instances of what you did not do for her that made her leave you. She might even use a couple of instances that you did do. Now, you never even thought of these before but she will make it out to be the reason why she left. Nothing you can do will ever be good enough for her and she knows that. This is her big excuse that she will use to throw the blame back on to you. Again, she is projecting and blaming you for her own faults, hate, and self loathing. So, you will never get the closure you are looking for.
She probably expected you to read her mind during the relationship. Making you try to solve all her problems by trying to figure out what is going on. Most of the time you probably had no inkling that there was ever a problem at all. She would then blame and hate you because you couldn't fix her exact problem that you had no idea of. Nobody in the world can fix her, because you can't fix her, she doesn't want to be fixed.
This all stems from a lack of a bond she had with her mother during her infant years. She never had any connection with her mother during her formative years, so she expects you to be the one to care for her needs. If you are unable to do so, she will lash out at you, shame you, and make you feel guilty. A mother can care for her baby's needs and knows what it wants, but the BPD expects you to take on the role of the mother. Which means being able to read her mind and knowing what she wants, even when she doesn't tell you. How can ever be able to do that? You can't, so that is why the sh*t will hit the fan after the "Honeymoon Phase" is over. You have to remember that with a BPD, you are dealing with the mind of a little child in a grown woman's body. This is why they act the way they do, they are childlike. So, trying to get closure from a child will never happen.
She will forever deny that she was at fault for anything, so any kind of closure will just be a futile attempt. These efforts on your part to reach out will only result in causing more grief and pain for you. How can get any real remorse when this girl will never be truly sorry? Any type of closure or communication after a BPD relationship should be strictly forbidden.
A BPD will never give you the closure that you are looking for because she will never admit to being at fault. She can't handle this type of admission because of her fragile mind and ego. This is why she will show no remorse and move on to the next guy like nothing has ever happened. If you do get a chance to try to get some closure, you will get the blame for everything. She will use a couple of instances of what you did not do for her that made her leave you. She might even use a couple of instances that you did do. Now, you never even thought of these before but she will make it out to be the reason why she left. Nothing you can do will ever be good enough for her and she knows that. This is her big excuse that she will use to throw the blame back on to you. Again, she is projecting and blaming you for her own faults, hate, and self loathing. So, you will never get the closure you are looking for.
She probably expected you to read her mind during the relationship. Making you try to solve all her problems by trying to figure out what is going on. Most of the time you probably had no inkling that there was ever a problem at all. She would then blame and hate you because you couldn't fix her exact problem that you had no idea of. Nobody in the world can fix her, because you can't fix her, she doesn't want to be fixed.
This all stems from a lack of a bond she had with her mother during her infant years. She never had any connection with her mother during her formative years, so she expects you to be the one to care for her needs. If you are unable to do so, she will lash out at you, shame you, and make you feel guilty. A mother can care for her baby's needs and knows what it wants, but the BPD expects you to take on the role of the mother. Which means being able to read her mind and knowing what she wants, even when she doesn't tell you. How can ever be able to do that? You can't, so that is why the sh*t will hit the fan after the "Honeymoon Phase" is over. You have to remember that with a BPD, you are dealing with the mind of a little child in a grown woman's body. This is why they act the way they do, they are childlike. So, trying to get closure from a child will never happen.
She will forever deny that she was at fault for anything, so any kind of closure will just be a futile attempt. These efforts on your part to reach out will only result in causing more grief and pain for you. How can get any real remorse when this girl will never be truly sorry? Any type of closure or communication after a BPD relationship should be strictly forbidden.
I'll miss the water". So I said "Look if you're with someone now stop messaging me I'm not interested"
