Men with Emotions

[mv.89]

I was browsing random sh!t online and one thing led to another and I bumped into an article which talks about Men having emotions.

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/14/men-have-emotions-women-dont-listen/


Question

1. How many of you are totally cool talking about your problems and emotions ?

2. How many of you don't mind expressing how you feel ?

3. Women want men who can share feelings but they don't want a man who would cry at death of a dog? this point nullifies cuz they aren't rational anyways.

4. When we all talk about having control over our emotions, what exactly does that mean ?

5. If we address our emotions to ourselves, does that mean we are being gay ? and instead of testosterone we are producing estrogen now ?

6. It is a proven fact that keeping emotions in check and sharing feelings have numerous benefits even then we are timid to talk about em ?


Don't start hating but I'm just trying to comprehend the gravity of this feminine connotation associated with Men having emotions.

 

[zinc4]

I am not one bit ashamed to say i cried when my dog died....i cared about him more than i have for any woman...

 

[Zhanie]

I was browsing random sh!t online and one thing led to another and I bumped into an article which talks about Men having emotions.

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/14/men-have-emotions-women-dont-listen/


Question

1. How many of you are totally cool talking about your problems and emotions ?

2. How many of you don't mind expressing how you feel ?

3. Women want men who can share feelings but they don't want a man who would cry at death of a dog? this point nullifies cuz they aren't rational anyways.

4. When we all talk about having control over our emotions, what exactly does that mean ?

5. If we address our emotions to ourselves, does that mean we are being gay ? and instead of testosterone we are producing estrogen now ?

6. It is a proven fact that keeping emotions in check and sharing feelings have numerous benefits even then we are timid to talk about em ?


Don't start hating but I'm just trying to comprehend the gravity of this feminine connotation associated with Men having emotions.

I guess it depends on who they're talking to. When my husbands friends where going through a tough time they were more talkative than my female friends. Heck... I bet my husband is pouring his heart out to his skanky girlfriend on how he has to move out. The only reason I got on this site was for a man's point of view... now I don't need it but I find it somewhat entertaining.

 

[jeffreylebowski]

It's totally normal to have emotions. Men aren't robots. But as a man letting your emotions run your life and your decisions will not get you very far with women usually. The thing is, women's emotional swings are actually a big part of what draws us to them. It's a big part of what makes them women.

If you haven't, a pretty good book to check out is "Way of the Superior Man."

That being said, if you're with a woman who doesn't respect your emotions or understand that you also have emotions, you shouldn't be with her.

 

[pinkfl]

Didn't read the article, but it looks retarded based off the questions you are asking.

It isn't "gay" to express emotion, it is called being human. We are social creatures and emotions allow us to communicate with others. A girl wants a guy that has emotions that are rational and make sense, such as being upset about losing a loved one, a job, or general stress. They do not want someone that cries at the drop of the hat.

I dated a guy so insecure that when he got home from wrestling he would CRY because he didn't beat every guy there. It was weird. I mean, sure, be upset that you didn't win and use that as motivation to try harder, or maybe accept that it isn't the sport for you and try something you are better at. Getting that upset is completely irrational.

 

[mv.89]

so bottom line is , it's okay for men to have emotions the only thing is to share them with the close circle. ^^ lol not robots but I used to think that if I am feeling anything that means it's a feminine quality.

In 1970's women came into psychology industry like droves and since then the "feelings" "talking" part started to have a feminine connotation attached to it.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Well.. I find the main reason men are generally less inclined to talk about and share emotions comes from how men view the world compared to women.

Men are results oriented. We like to SOLVE problems rather then talk about them. So in many cases (at least for me) I don't bother sharing my emotions because I always ask myself: "How will that solve the problem? What will that fix?"

If I talk about my feelings its because I'm looking for ideas, perspectives and solutions to them that might be gained from others. Having a woe, woe, woe is me session is usually a huge waste of time and energy. I'd rather invest time SOLVING the problem. If it can't be solved.. then I try to get over it the best way I can.

This is why when men get mad at a friend they just yell or punch him in the face.. while a woman would play passive-aggressive head games and complain behind that person's back.

Who started this whole "sharing feelings" crap anyway? It was women right? So why pay it any attention? We are not wired like them. We don't need to act like them.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

I think I am a pretty emotional man, looking at this chart I've expressed all of these before in my life.

Now the "Tender" category not so much, when I'm in a relationship I have to sometimes remind myself. I guess my mom didn't hug me enough as a kid? j/k

If you want to keep a woman around for an LTR or even marriage then yeah you better learn to exhibit these emotions.

I agree with PlayHerMan we are not wired like them but I'm not sure how successful a relationship would be if your lacking in the tender category?

Call me beta or afc I don't care...just my 2 cents.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/84/Emotions.gif

 

[Justin Time]

You know...threads like these make me laugh. Here's why:

Within the spectrum of male and female genome, humans are infinitely variable. At one extreme is the completely feminine girly girl that cries at everything, has no backbone to stand on whatsoever, scared of every, but willing to love anything...and does a damn good job of it. That's a crude overview.

At the other end of the spectrum is the absolute alpha male. Doesn't take any kind of sh!t, ridiculous amounts of rage, power hungry, exerts total dominance and never willingly gives up a leadership role. You can call it the king of the jungle mentality.

With that said, it is extremely difficult if not practically impossible to find people at those extremes, but they do exist in small numbers. Most people end up somewhere in between. Men tend to end up on the more aggressive side, while women end up on the passive side. If you can picture two graphs side by side, imagining the one on the right to be the feminine, with the extreme right side being the girly girl, while the one on the left represents the men, with the extreme alpha male being to the left, as you go towards the middle, from either side, there is an upward tick for the number of individuals, however, at a quarter of the way through, the graph starts trending downward to meet each other at a very low value.

It becomes AlPHA - average male -Lesbians-transsexuals-bisexual males-average female - girly girl.

Testosterone drops as you traverse right, while oestrogen increases and vice versa.

 

[mv.89]

PlayHer Man- this is what I am getting at , being solution oriented if we can look at our emotions and identify the source we can solve right away. Not talking about emotions just for the sake of talking rather to eradicate the negative source.

We have all heard that girls, when they vent out they don't need advice they just want someone to listen. I cannot do that, I just cannot sit and talk about stuff if I ain't looking for solution.

We all would consider Don Draper as an alpha but he also sits and talks about his feelings with the closest chick he's banging , now that could be just a trick to bring her close but showing that you are vulnerable plays a strong role in pulling b!tches close. I've noticed it too, when people see that you can get vulnerable too they feel closer.

 

[penkitten]

i'm sorry but the way the questions are worded seem like they came from some group therapy session. don't they?

 

[mv.89]

i'm sorry but the way the questions are worded seem like they came from some group therapy session. don't they?

lol group therapy session would've given me answers

this is what I've been thinking and I'm sure that almost everyone thought about these once in their lifetime. I just got around asking now lol

 

[Bible_Belt]

I dated a guy so insecure that when he got home from wrestling he would CRY because he didn't beat every guy there. It was weird. I mean, sure, be upset that you didn't win and use that as motivation to try harder, or maybe accept that it isn't the sport for you and try something you are better at. Getting that upset is completely irrational.

Fighters in general tend to be passionate and emotional people. I have seen plenty of cage fighters beat each other to a pulp, then hug and cry after the fight. I noticed that the guys I fought became like cousins to me; there's a tremendous amount of mutual respect afterward.

 

[Mr Wright]

My ex helped me with some resentment I had towards my father who was never really there for me, I didnt realise it until I actually sat down and spoke to her about it. After like 20 minutes I just broke down and that definitely brought us closer together, I'll be forever thankful to her for that. It's not gay, it's just as men, we bury our emotions deep down and occasionally they need to be let out, just for the sake of our own sanity. These days I have these little moments by myself because it's about recognising the issues you have within yourself, it's nothing to do with anyone else.

 

[Dalshtröm]

Now if you didn't have feelings you would not even be conscious. Animals don't feel anything, they do everything unconscious. So now, it is the feelings that separate us from animals. And everything you do is through feelings. Women may swing their feelings but it is nothing compared to the anger that men has suppressed in the self, the unconsciousness. Or even compassion; their compassion once surfaced, is far greater than that of any woman out there. Now there is nothing different in women and men, their feelings equal; the amount of feelings are the same, otherwise we would not be attracted towards each other - we are both human beings. Only the things that are deep down the same can be attracted towards each other. Now the attraction simply means you are missing something in your life so you are searching for the other to complete you. Aggressive searches the passive, the minus searches the plus. You are not attracted towards animal that much, some people are not at all. Because they won't be able to complete you as much as women. They are unconscious - not at your level of consciousness.

So the difference now is that you as a man are suppressing your feelings and you need someone so you can project that on. You need the other part that you have suppressed. So with the woman who has all the feelings, you feel at home. Through her, you project yourself. You are simply feeling her emotions and with that, your own suppressed feelings surfaces. Now only men are aware if women's swing of feelings; they women themselves are never aware of this.
They have taken their feelings for granted. They have suppressed their calmness of feelings for their entire life. They say, I am a woman and my feelings will wing, I wil not be able to have a clm mind, so they also suppressed ther calm mind, even tough they will have it sooner or later, but if there is a man in her life that has a calm mind, that has also suppressed his feelings. They fit together, now the woman can project her suppressed calmness into the man. So men are never aware of their calmness, they have taken it for granted that they are calm beings, not much of swings. So the woman projects this on him and she will find him very attractive. The things that we suppress becomes very attractive!

It is all about projections. With the woman, you don't need to say that your feelings are swinging; you can say that their feelings are swinging - you can protect your ego if being a man with this! So you can feel her swings of emotions. So what does this mean? It means that your feelings are swinging otherwise you would not see that her feelings are swinging. How can you feel what she feels? Everything you feel is your own and never anybody else's. can you see my point? Because you have suppressed your feelings, you can now let them come up with the women . But you never say that you are having he feelings. You project it on her. How absurd is this? If you feel that she has a swing of feelings, it must come for you. It comes for your suppressed unconsciousness. The unconscious is everything we suppress. Everything we don't accept makes the unconsciousness.

So you say that the woman has a swing if feelings - it fits their ego of being a woman! Now it is weird, because you are the one feeling the swing if feelings. It us so strong that you cannot avoid it. It is so strong that you feel it with your whole being. Women's feelings never swing. It is very calm; they never suppress their feelings. How you seen any woman's compassion greater than of a mans? When the suppressed compassion surfaces in the man, he becomes the most compassionate being. Same goes with anger.









DALSHTROM

 

[PlayHer Man]

We all would consider Don Draper as an alpha but he also sits and talks about his feelings with the closest chick he's banging , now that could be just a trick to bring her close but showing that you are vulnerable plays a strong role in pulling b!tches close. I've noticed it too, when people see that you can get vulnerable too they feel closer.

Its true you can bring women closer by showing some vulnerability. But its not for the reasons you think. Women have a natural desire to nurture.. which is rooted in the need to CONTROL.

Ever notice how women get p!ssed when they give you advice and you ignore it? When women are ready to "settle down" or get into a serious relationship.. they desire a man they can control. A beta faggot. It makes them feel secure.

A woman only wants to see your weakness so she can use it to keep you in line. Sounds cynical but its 100% true. Look around. When a woman gets p!ssed at you what is the first thing she attacks??? --> You're weakness (sex, status, height, money.. whatever you're needy or insecure about)

 

[youngmack]

Its true you can bring women closer by showing some vulnerability. But its not for the reasons you think. Women have a natural desire to nurture.. which is rooted in the need to CONTROL.

Ever notice how women get p!ssed when they give you advice and you ignore it? When women are ready to "settle down" or get into a serious relationship.. they desire a man they can control. A beta faggot. It makes them feel secure.

A woman only wants to see your weakness so she can use it to keep you in line. Sounds cynical but its 100% true. Look around. When a woman gets p!ssed at you what is the first thing she attacks??? --> You're weakness (sex, status, height, money.. whatever you're needy or insecure about)

This post is interesting

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Its true you can bring women closer by showing some vulnerability. But its not for the reasons you think. Women have a natural desire to nurture.. which is rooted in the need to CONTROL.

Ever notice how women get p!ssed when they give you advice and you ignore it? When women are ready to "settle down" or get into a serious relationship.. they desire a man they can control. A beta faggot. It makes them feel secure.

A woman only wants to see your weakness so she can use it to keep you in line. Sounds cynical but its 100% true. Look around. When a woman gets p!ssed at you what is the first thing she attacks??? --> You're weakness (sex, status, height, money.. whatever you're needy or insecure about)

This post is interesting

PlayaMan knows his shlt, ain't gonna lie I wish knew this @ 29! I have experienced this same BS with a broad but I am not AFC/Beta fag as PHM would say.

Over the top Insecure/Clingy/Needy woman in there 30's to mid 30's WILL pull this shlt, DO NOT put up with this fvckin crap it's a waste of time. These woman think they need to control you & the relationship. They have done this is the past with previous men and that's how they think the relationship should be. As PHM said it makes them feel secure because deep down inside they are really insecure. They will pretty much suck the life out you like a Black Widow Spider.

Side note: I'm not bitter & have experienced much worse, this is more or less a valuable lesson learned for me, not going to lie tho the fvcking was semi worth it. At 35 they are in their prime so you might as well enjoy it & then move on.

 

[greatsnake]

Its true you can bring women closer by showing some vulnerability. But its not for the reasons you think. Women have a natural desire to nurture.. which is rooted in the need to CONTROL.

Ever notice how women get p!ssed when they give you advice and you ignore it? When women are ready to "settle down" or get into a serious relationship.. they desire a man they can control. A beta faggot. It makes them feel secure.

This is good stuff

 

[JonnyD123]

Its true you can bring women closer by showing some vulnerability. But its not for the reasons you think. Women have a natural desire to nurture.. which is rooted in the need to CONTROL.

Ever notice how women get p!ssed when they give you advice and you ignore it? When women are ready to "settle down" or get into a serious relationship.. they desire a man they can control. A beta faggot. It makes them feel secure.

A woman only wants to see your weakness so she can use it to keep you in line. Sounds cynical but its 100% true. Look around. When a woman gets p!ssed at you what is the first thing she attacks??? --> You're weakness (sex, status, height, money.. whatever you're needy or insecure about)

Good sh*t