Okay just a few things here:
1. To the OP -- look some people get lucky and get the best job of their lives right out of college. Most people don't. Some people meet some random woman around the corner and live happily the next 30 years until one dies of old age surrounded by grandchildren. Most people don't. Nothing is completely impossible -- but let's be honest -- this isn't 1965 or 1945 any more -- today's standards and social culture are very different places. Women and people in general don't have the commitment to ANYTHING like they did back in the day. There was a time where it wasn't that uncommon to stick with a single company for 20-30+ years. Is that the same situation today?
I believe you can have very strong feelings for someone. Probably not always logical -- and fueled by romantic imagination, or by neurochemistry (as I denoted in a past thread in the mature man forum). I would say that for most guys, finding THE ONE (and for women too) is something we all believe to have experienced -- most guys on this forum have fallen in love, some here have had children with those women and are now divorced (her request). A lot of the child-like romantic understandings we have of love are wonderful to experience and part of life, but often as we grow older and gain actual experience in these situations, we find it's not quite what it's sold to us as. And it's not easy. And I could ramble on for hours [as I am sure you would all really enjoy
] on the subjects of my personal theories why...but alas understand that it is likely the most successful relationships that last involve men who have transpired past the "oneitis" phase (many due to life experience).
Real love probably involves some level of detachment -- and a basis by which your own personal happiness is not dependent upon them or their behavior (or even their presence exactly). This can be very hard and I'm not saying I have this mastered. Surely some recent life experience confronts this entirely. However, I honestly believe that level of detachment is important -- because by having it, what you do end up having is a much deeper trust and self-love in yourself.
This isn't YOU vs. THE WORLD, but rather a deep solid internal foundation of yourself -- where your happiness isn't dependent upon the "acceptance of the ONE".
But sure, there are some great relationships out there. I believe that.
And now:
2.
Maxtro said:
I've known for about a year and a half. We've hung out many many times. There are still many things we can do together and places to go.
We have a great deal of things in common and share many of the same interests. Our personalities mesh very well. I have never met another girl that I got along with so well.
We could have a great relationship but I'm stuck in the fucking friendzone.
Look man, I've been there, let me tell you 100% that she is not entirely what you think she is. You are friendzoned. Sure you've got lots of the same interests, but truly by having "love" for this person without it being reciprocated you will, in the course of this friendship, likely lose some degree of self-respect. Because you see so much in her, and you want a relationship out of her, you will likely do and act in ways that encourage this. The truth is, this girl will likely never be those things to you. You *could* find a way to bond later on if she does have some of these subconscious feelings for you -- everything on this website talks about exacerbating the emotions she does have to see if you can build up any attraction she
may have for you. If she doesn't have any at all, I am sorry to say, you will likely be placed at the bottom of the priority list for her, and she'll likely vent to you about various male suitors, failed relationships, all the while never really looking at you in those same ways you'd like her to. It sucks man -- I KNOW! But this reason alone is why I don't have many female friends anymore...you will torture yourself by keeping that friendship alive with the hopes that you have. It took me a long time to shed my AFC-based female friends...but I can honestly say since their absence I've only had more trust and conviction in myself and won't allow myself to be friendzoned by a chick I'm really into any further.
If you can let her go -- distance yourself -- you will find better success in getting what you actually want.
//EDIT//
I can also say too that even though you may have lots of overlapping interests, this doesn't mean much in terms of relationship -- you may have more success with a woman alien to the worlds by which you are a part, and you are her teacher -- roll her into the things that excite you...
