She just told me: I just feel weird lately

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
4,784
Reaction score
5,795
Location
PRC
As they say, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
10,616
Reaction score
4,385
She's depressed at the thought of sexually serving you.
 

Learning Curve

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2023
Messages
395
Reaction score
327
Age
31
Location
Cyprus
pretend like shes "confused " , you need to coax it out of her
OP, her interest level is down. I know that is sort of basic comment.... Why her interest level is down is more interesting. Either way being with a low interest woman is depressing. After living with a man for some time, the woman knows more about that man. Some or most of the mystery of the man is discovered. No man is as good as the man that is not fully discovered. If she is good looking perhaps the mystery of who are you put you above her SMV(do we still use that term..) As she knows you more, the mystery points are gone. Now maybe she thinks she can do better. Another man just like you, that she doesn't know as well looks more interesting because of the mystery.

Increase your SMV for this lady, or find another lady that see you has higher then herself.

Interest level low, means her perception is that she is higher than you. That situation will not be fun or healthy for you.
Yep i agree on this.
 

Learning Curve

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2023
Messages
395
Reaction score
327
Age
31
Location
Cyprus
First of all thank you all for the engagement and feedback.

@Gamisch thanks for the points.

Now here is the thing for everyone in this thread.

Assumptions are easy to be made based on what I have posted and I will clear a few things out.

Firstly, my focus and grind is not lost, is there and it has been since I was with my ex as this was also one of the reason I broke up with my previous relationship. Due to my focus as she wanted to strive me away from my success with kids and marriage. She was toxic anyway and she lost. I ended it.

I don't care to end relationships that drive me out of my course of purpose. A woman will never be able to remove me off-track.

As many of you know women want attention and you have to give it to them at some point. At best don't enter relationships if you cant do that.

Now on an update:

We have went to her city for a week she has completely changed behaviour and went back to normal.


Point being is that she does not like the city we live in, she misses her family and friends and once we are back she becomes this depressed woman with lack of passion for s3x or anything else.

S3x happened 2-3 times last week but nothing more than that. She is the type of woman that waits for a guy to initiate s3x each time she never takes the lead.

She is inexperienced anyway to do that and I knew it since day one when I entered a relationship with her.

Did I become a different guy with her? Yes and no.

I never changed my course of purpose but I have reduced my grind that's for sure.

When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.

This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.

This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.

This is driving me nuts. I want to be on my grind and i will be, and at the end of the day being with a woman and wanting to grind is impossible unless you find a woman that has the same vision with you and she understands what it takes.

Course of action will be determined based on how things will go from now and on.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,182
Reaction score
3,940
First of all thank you all for the engagement and feedback.

@Gamisch thanks for the points.

Now here is the thing for everyone in this thread.

Assumptions are easy to be made based on what I have posted and I will clear a few things out.

Firstly, my focus and grind is not lost, is there and it has been since I was with my ex as this was also one of the reason I broke up with my previous relationship. Due to my focus as she wanted to strive me away from my success with kids and marriage. She was toxic anyway and she lost. I ended it.

I don't care to end relationships that drive me out of my course of purpose. A woman will never be able to remove me off-track.

As many of you know women want attention and you have to give it to them at some point. At best don't enter relationships if you cant do that.

Now on an update:

We have went to her city for a week she has completely changed behaviour and went back to normal.


Point being is that she does not like the city we live in, she misses her family and friends and once we are back she becomes this depressed woman with lack of passion for s3x or anything else.

S3x happened 2-3 times last week but nothing more than that. She is the type of woman that waits for a guy to initiate s3x each time she never takes the lead.

She is inexperienced anyway to do that and I knew it since day one when I entered a relationship with her.

Did I become a different guy with her? Yes and no.

I never changed my course of purpose but I have reduced my grind that's for sure.

When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.

This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.

This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.

This is driving me nuts. I want to be on my grind and i will be, and at the end of the day being with a woman and wanting to grind is impossible unless you find a woman that has the same vision with you and she understands what it takes.

Course of action will be determined based on how things will go from now and on.
Oke .makes sense, that she behaves differently in her hometown.

But this is the difficultly with women; they stirring wheel is their emotions. Read that twice please sir..cliche, but yet so often so easily overlooked. Qoute on qoute "typical redpill jargon bs" UNTILL it ain't..

If a dude acts like this I assume a (imaginary) wake up slap would be sufficient. But with women, no matter what you do ir say, if her emotions tell her something it's gonna be extremely difficult to convince her otherwise. That's my biggest and roughest lesson in all these years dealing with women; assuming that rationality is the key, while you should somehow tap into her emotions.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,182
Reaction score
3,940
First of all thank you all for the engagement and feedback.

@Gamisch thanks for the points.

Now here is the thing for everyone in this thread.

Assumptions are easy to be made based on what I have posted and I will clear a few things out.

Firstly, my focus and grind is not lost, is there and it has been since I was with my ex as this was also one of the reason I broke up with my previous relationship. Due to my focus as she wanted to strive me away from my success with kids and marriage. She was toxic anyway and she lost. I ended it.

I don't care to end relationships that drive me out of my course of purpose. A woman will never be able to remove me off-track.

As many of you know women want attention and you have to give it to them at some point. At best don't enter relationships if you cant do that.

Now on an update:

We have went to her city for a week she has completely changed behaviour and went back to normal.


Point being is that she does not like the city we live in, she misses her family and friends and once we are back she becomes this depressed woman with lack of passion for s3x or anything else.

S3x happened 2-3 times last week but nothing more than that. She is the type of woman that waits for a guy to initiate s3x each time she never takes the lead.

She is inexperienced anyway to do that and I knew it since day one when I entered a relationship with her.

Did I become a different guy with her? Yes and no.

I never changed my course of purpose but I have reduced my grind that's for sure.

When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.

This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.

This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.

This is driving me nuts. I want to be on my grind and i will be, and at the end of the day being with a woman and wanting to grind is impossible unless you find a woman that has the same vision with you and she understands what it takes.

Course of action will be determined based on how things will go from now and on.
Any way, my opinion still stands; you get comfortable again, imo ignoring TONS of warning shots..heck it's like you're standing at the frontline suicidal with a death wish!

You are so many *difficult situations and misunderstandings * away from a crisis..

- plan your exit strategy. (Not a break up , but just make sure you get everything ready. The feeling of having a steady fundament instead of shaky ground is like night and day. )

- grind TWICE as hard starting yesterday
- and yeah, see if actual affection improves things for the time being.
 

Gameplayer007

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 20, 2022
Messages
13
Reaction score
9
Age
31
First of all thank you all for the engagement and feedback.

@Gamisch thanks for the points.

Now on an update:

We have went to her city for a week she has completely changed behaviour and went back to normal.


Point being is that she does not like the city we live in, she misses her family and friends and once we are back she becomes this depressed woman with lack of passion for s3x or anything else.

S3x happened 2-3 times last week but nothing more than that. She is the type of woman that waits for a guy to initiate s3x each time she never takes the lead.

She is inexperienced anyway to do that and I knew it since day one when I entered a relationship with her.

Did I become a different guy with her? Yes and no.

I never changed my course of purpose but I have reduced my grind that's for sure.

When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.

This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.

This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.

This is driving me nuts. I want to be on my grind and i will be, and at the end of the day being with a woman and wanting to grind is impossible unless you find a woman that has the same vision with you and she understands what it takes.

Course of action will be determined based on how things will go from now and on.
I guess to help answer that, what makes you think you became different? It feels like there's a bit of missing detail to give feedback.

One thing I do want to say, and I've learned this not just from another guy but also from recent experience, women do not care about your self-improvement. Long story short, Im in grad school. I have mentioned that to women, and some are understanding, others are not. One of them, I offered to reschedule due to a final that is basically pass or fail, didn't want to reschedule and even said she's parting ways. But I mention this point because of an old adage: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink it. My perspective, whether I have another opportunity in grad school or post, she is free to join and support me on my adventure. The thing is, a person's happiness is their own responsibility, not another's. Her placing that burden on you to create positive environments, that's more for on the dates. As a constant? That's too much to ask
 

Learning Curve

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2023
Messages
395
Reaction score
327
Age
31
Location
Cyprus
I guess to help answer that, what makes you think you became different? It feels like there's a bit of missing detail to give feedback.

One thing I do want to say, and I've learned this not just from another guy but also from recent experience, women do not care about your self-improvement. Long story short, Im in grad school. I have mentioned that to women, and some are understanding, others are not. One of them, I offered to reschedule due to a final that is basically pass or fail, didn't want to reschedule and even said she's parting ways. But I mention this point because of an old adage: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink it. My perspective, whether I have another opportunity in grad school or post, she is free to join and support me on my adventure. The thing is, a person's happiness is their own responsibility, not another's. Her placing that burden on you to create positive environments, that's more for on the dates. As a constant? That's too much to ask
Probably my sense of investing in this relationship made my schedule / life different. It was expected. Entering a relationship and a commitment requires sacrifices. This has altered my daily life. It was expected. I knew it beforehand.

There is women who love self-improvement. The one I have now is not that she hates it. She likes some aspects of it. She reads self-improvement books etc. But in terms of really changing your life and investing for the future there is a total lack of understanding how life works.

Women like that are simply inexperienced because they come from a family that everything was offered to the plate. No struggles financially what so ever and unless you have the self-awareness to realize that even with a PHD you will not get far in life and you will hit a celling then you are toasted. The world now is competitive. 7 billion people also want money and success and stable relationships. You are not the only one.

If she does not care about my self-improvement or life choices then she can open the door and leave. I have my exit strategy in place if anything happens. For now things seem to be stable again.

But time will tell.

My instinct tells me that I will not be long in this relationship.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,382
Reaction score
10,616
This relationship is done. Your mistake was living with her. Get a new place and prepare to move.
Iron Rule of Tomassi #4
NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry in within 6 months.


I would have ended the iron rule after 'married to'.

I think living with any girlfriend is a bad idea. Men think it's going to be nothing but convenient sex but it usually doesn't happen like that.
 

LTG71

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2022
Messages
504
Reaction score
684
When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.

This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.

This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.
This sounds like the issue.

"I just feel weird lately, it's not your fault it's my fault, I think I'm depressed"

“Weird“ is a cowardly way of saying regretful. She is starting to second guess her decision because of the boredom she puts herself through. You are perfectly fine doing your thing but she lacks human connection working from home and is looking for you to fill the void. This is where many women are like the oldest child in the house. They lack ways to entertain themselves, especially if they have no children to occupy their time.
 

Rainrain

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
122
Reaction score
74
Age
39
I dated someone like t
This sounds like the issue.

"I just feel weird lately, it's not your fault it's my fault, I think I'm depressed"

“Weird“ is a cowardly way of saying regretful. She is starting to second guess her decision because of the boredom she puts herself through. You are perfectly fine doing your thing but she lacks human connection working from home and is looking for you to fill the void. This is where many women are like the oldest child in the house. They lack ways to entertain themselves, especially if they have no children to occupy their time.
Despite having a child, she tends to depend on OP not only for entertaining them (which, as a parent, involves planning trips and engaging activities) but also for shouldering most of the childcare responsibilities due to her lack of initiative. For instance, she might ask OP to fetch her purse from the car.

I hope I could word it better but hopefully he gets what I am trying to say.
 
Top