Women tell you what they want... which isn't what they want

[reset]

Something I have noticed, and would like feedback, this is probably more geared to LTRs.

Women will say many things about how men SHOULD behave. For instance, they like to be called often because it shows you care. Or, they want you to let them know how much you care, and to be honest about your feelings, etc. etc. And, their belief seems to be, if the man is not actively pursuing, and "proving that he cares", then he must not be that great to have around....

ETCETERA.

But of course, these SAME women, who say they want all these things, what happens when this doesn't happen? What happens when the guy DOESN'T call all that much? What happens when he's a little aloof and not to expressive about his feelings? Or if he puts the girl in her place, knowing damn well it's the right thing to do... what happens?

It drives the chick nuts! They become OBSESSED with you, and all they can think of "does he care? Does he still care? Does he still want me? Is he mad? Why doesn't he do what I wish he would do?"

I guess my question is... do women actually KNOW what they want from a guy? Because all the things they SAY they want, when you do the opposite, is what makes them chase after you.

I know this is probably obvious, but there seems to be a big disconnect from what they say, and what really turns them on. This may be cynical, but I'm getting to the point that I think if a woman says she wants something, you should probably do the opposite. Thoughts?

 

[cNfny]

from what i've gathered from this site and girls through life experience, it seems girls say they "want" certain things because they cant have it.

if a guy were to give a girl what she wants, thats too easy, the girl wouldn't be THAT obvious. i think psychologically it's a way to filter out the easy catches, they "want" what they cant have/easily access/control.

 

[reset]

Yeah I think over time, they do want some of that stuff from you... it's just that it means more when it comes from a guy who doesn't give it that easily. They think they've earned it. Contrast this with the guys who just do whatever the girl "wants" right away, there's no attraction there.

Didn't have to earn it: not worth much.

When you listen to women chatter away about this sort of thing, it's obvious that the opposite of what they say is really what turns them on.

 

[Tear Gas]

you are absolutely correct..never listen to what a girl wants. ****ing bs...do what you said and shell be all over you. This is, of course, after some initial attraction.

 

[cNfny]

Yeah I think over time, they do want some of that stuff from you

which is why it's fun to 1/10 times to do just that. give them what you know they think they want to throw off the course a bit. get them thinking wait, omg what happened? it's nice but i dont know... then! boom take it all away and back to how you were. she'll wonder why the sudden curve ball and if it's goin to be pitched again. keep it on edge, make her think she's happy for getting her supposed outter surface needs.

 

[reset]

Yeah that's another weird thing. When you do that, you can just see how freaking excited they are, because it's not something they are used to, so it means about a million times more than it would if you were AFC.

 

[ketostix]

And this is all why I don't think Direct method and being honest and upfront works. And why I think a guy should always hold back a little, be a challege and a little mysterious.

 

[Kerpal]

I always chuckle when a girl sends out one of those stupid bulletins on Myspace on "100 things a perfect guy does" and it's all stuff that is clearly AFC ("Calls me back when I hang up on him", etc).

They never say what they really want.

 

[Play the Game]

I always chuckle when a girl sends out one of those stupid bulletins on Myspace on "100 things a perfect guy does" and it's all stuff that is clearly AFC ("Calls me back when I hang up on him", etc).

They never say what they really want.

She's not lying... she wants you to call her back and give her more attention. But she wants attention even more if she doesn't get it. It's like a spoiled brat that wants his favorite toy for Christmas but doesn't get it.

 

[NickSCFC2000]

All the things women say they want ,they DO want! When they get those things it builds their ego and makes them feel good...


shame the poor guy who gives them these things gets dumped.

 

[Mad Manic]

All the things women say they want ,they DO want! When they get those things it builds their ego and makes them feel good...


shame the poor guy who gives them these things gets dumped.

Correct, they do want these things to boost their ego and power, but at the expense of the guy. If you don't give it to them easily, they'll then chase the guy to get what they want, which works in the guy's favour of course.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I always chuckle when a girl sends out one of those stupid bulletins on Myspace on "100 things a perfect guy does" and it's all stuff that is clearly AFC ("Calls me back when I hang up on him", etc).

Me too, those are hilarious.

 

[cNfny]

Which is why I don't believe in love. Its all about being counter-intuitive. So how could love even come out of it? Just a means of two people who play the game so well enough that it creates strong feelings (tension). Just my two cents.

 

[NickSCFC2000]

Correct, they do want these things to boost their ego and power, but at the expense of the guy. If you don't give it to them easily, they'll then chase the guy to get what they want, which works in the guy's favour of course.

ALTHOUGH, if a girl does great things to you almost all the time, it's well worth giving her alot back. You might get a great lifetime relationship from it.

But, as soon as your woman starts being a ***** to you, it's OVER! No amount of being nice, or doing the opposite and playing mind games will work. When a relationship's ****ed it stays ****ed.

 

[NickSCFC2000]

Which is why I don't believe in love. Its all about being counter-intuitive. So how could love even come out of it? Just a means of two people who play the game so well enough that it creates strong feelings (tension). Just my two cents.

What you don't see though is when the right person meets "the right person" they just click, and all these rules go out of the window. That's Love!

All the games and stuff are just for getting laid and having short-term relationships. But hey, anything beats being single and having your **** waste away.

 

[Tazman]

Women know exactly what they want (though sometimes they aren't conscious of it), but they aren't going to tell you because that will give away their power (or percieved power). What they do tell you is exactly what will give them the upperhand. You also have to remember that they won't give a damn what you say/do if they don't think you have "value." It's just like us men not caring about unattractive women, we don't even look at them...

 

[reset]

What you don't see though is when the right person meets "the right person" they just click, and all these rules go out of the window. That's Love!

All the games and stuff are just for getting laid and having short-term relationships. But hey, anything beats being single and having your **** waste away.

When people click it's great, but at least from the woman's end, the games don't stop. They will always test. The whole point is that they want to be with a man who is strong, because this should mean he has good genes, which means she will have a healthy baby, which means basically she made the right choice. But biologically she will need reassurance that her offspring is coming from the right source. This is why they test. Over time the tests aren't such a big of a deal, but they are always there.

Guys aren't raised to play games intentionally. The problem is, we have been raised by a culture that caters to women and what they say they want... which is where we get the stereotypical Nice Guy who is always supplicating. That is not in the man's true nature, at all. This is why he has tough times with women, because he's acting AGAINST his nature... he just doesn't realize it. He never had a chance to get "in touch" with his real manhood because of the brainwashing he was raised under. But she can sense that's something wrong.

After reading this thread, I tend to agree that all the "sweet stuff" a girl says she wants, is actually a curve-ball in itself, if not intentionally. If you fall for it, you fail her little test. If you don't, you're in.

 

[illmatic1005]

sweet stuff??..girls all tell em that they just want to hook up and hate relationships and just want to have fun..and that they hate it when guys are too scared to hook up..just go for it

thats what they all say