TheWayOfAllFlesh
Senior Don Juan
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What the hells my problem?
Hello Friend,
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Why Can't I Approach Women?
- Thread starter TheWayOfAllFlesh
- Start date
guywhoneedshelp
Master Don Juan
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Just do it
ExcelNPrevail
Don Juan
Fear.
Fear paralyzes you. Your mind thinks to much about it (the situation). It thinks about the approach in terms of the "future."
Your mind may project either one of these "fake" conclusions.
"Shes going to laught at me."
"She probably thinks I'll creep her out."
"What If i run out of things to say?"
"I'm probably not her type"
Why fear.. what hasn't happened yet? You clearly haven't approached her, So why the F*** are you even making conclusions? You will eventually get rejected by a women so deal with it.
I remember my first ever cold approach. I was 16 at the time. Holy S*** man, i kid you not i was so scared. She was lovely, a 8.5 face and 9.2 body. "What should I say!?!" was running trough my head the whole time I was watching her. She was walking towards my way.....dam**.. I started to panic on the inside....she was getting closer and closer...then....boom...she walked right pass me..... I said to my self,"No NO NO EXP, not today!" So I turned around passed by her a lil forward turned around and just said, "Hi."
"Nike Motto Insert Here"
Fear paralyzes you. Your mind thinks to much about it (the situation). It thinks about the approach in terms of the "future."
Your mind may project either one of these "fake" conclusions.
"Shes going to laught at me."
"She probably thinks I'll creep her out."
"What If i run out of things to say?"
"I'm probably not her type"
Why fear.. what hasn't happened yet? You clearly haven't approached her, So why the F*** are you even making conclusions? You will eventually get rejected by a women so deal with it.
I remember my first ever cold approach. I was 16 at the time. Holy S*** man, i kid you not i was so scared. She was lovely, a 8.5 face and 9.2 body. "What should I say!?!" was running trough my head the whole time I was watching her. She was walking towards my way.....dam**.. I started to panic on the inside....she was getting closer and closer...then....boom...she walked right pass me..... I said to my self,"No NO NO EXP, not today!" So I turned around passed by her a lil forward turned around and just said, "Hi."
"Nike Motto Insert Here"
Luke Skywalker
Banned
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People say the reason is fear. That's part of it. I think a more fundamental reason is you really do not have to approach a woman. People do these things because they want to, or want to have some fun and are in a high-energy state of mind of being in the moment -- but when you lower energy, tired and are dealing with negative conditioning (i.e. rejection, ignores you, a strained interaction with an ackward silence, wierd and ackward, making someone feel uncomfortable, etc...) then naturally you are not seeing a reward benefit for doing it and get comfortable with not approaching.
So, the most important thing as I see it is you have to be in a pumped up, high energy state of mind where you want to do something crazy just for the fun of it -- to see what their reaction is going to be, to want to freak someone out or play with someone's head, or connect with someone new etc.... that's a different state of mind.
So, the most important thing as I see it is you have to be in a pumped up, high energy state of mind where you want to do something crazy just for the fun of it -- to see what their reaction is going to be, to want to freak someone out or play with someone's head, or connect with someone new etc.... that's a different state of mind.
dude..you're livin in fear of being shot down.
aka fear of rejection. the same sort of fear that overcomes people when they assume their LTRs are cheating on them etc.
Rejection is a b!tch.
but i tell you what, i post a lot of approaches here and have many many successful approachs..but what i dont post is the innumerable times ive been shot down when i approach women. but ive learnt from each one and its helped me the change alot about my interactions with hot women. like the way i speak, attitude, persona etc. different kind of women like different kinds of men, like the young playful guy, the matured young money maker, the fast life guy and the husband. after a while of playin the field you'll start to recognize what kind of guy the woman you want to approach would like..i mean you may get it wrong but most times you'll be on the money.
They say never rate a man on how he fell but how he got himself up again.
its all about gettin up dustin yourself off and walkin to the next chic again.
besides from personal experience ive learnt so much! on how to deal with people and failure.
women are cold animals, and being shot down by a HOT woman is possibly the worst kind of rejection and failure.. but when it happens once, after that it doesnt hurt. you just say yeh ok its happened before..and you take her best friend home satisfy her so much that they'll both wanna do you together..at the same time...
.lol.
the more you talk to women, the better success to lose % you have. because you're game improves and more and more women are saying yes than no.
you'll never ever ever! reach a 100% yes approach hit rate. no man ever can do that. even bradd pitt will get turned down by some women.
but thats something that all men live with..life is too short to live in fear dude..go out there and approach..live your life ethically and to the fullest and you'll see women will feel weak in front of you..instead of vice versa
aka fear of rejection. the same sort of fear that overcomes people when they assume their LTRs are cheating on them etc.
Rejection is a b!tch.
but i tell you what, i post a lot of approaches here and have many many successful approachs..but what i dont post is the innumerable times ive been shot down when i approach women. but ive learnt from each one and its helped me the change alot about my interactions with hot women. like the way i speak, attitude, persona etc. different kind of women like different kinds of men, like the young playful guy, the matured young money maker, the fast life guy and the husband. after a while of playin the field you'll start to recognize what kind of guy the woman you want to approach would like..i mean you may get it wrong but most times you'll be on the money.
They say never rate a man on how he fell but how he got himself up again.
its all about gettin up dustin yourself off and walkin to the next chic again.
besides from personal experience ive learnt so much! on how to deal with people and failure.
women are cold animals, and being shot down by a HOT woman is possibly the worst kind of rejection and failure.. but when it happens once, after that it doesnt hurt. you just say yeh ok its happened before..and you take her best friend home satisfy her so much that they'll both wanna do you together..at the same time...
.lol.the more you talk to women, the better success to lose % you have. because you're game improves and more and more women are saying yes than no.
you'll never ever ever! reach a 100% yes approach hit rate. no man ever can do that. even bradd pitt will get turned down by some women.
but thats something that all men live with..life is too short to live in fear dude..go out there and approach..live your life ethically and to the fullest and you'll see women will feel weak in front of you..instead of vice versa
Luke Skywalker
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I don't know - how do you deal with the inner game issues if you are afraid of approaching, and how do you get into the frame of mind to make an approach if you are not in the 'zone'? How do you push yourself to do it if by the forces of inertia, you just don't want to, but know deep down inside that it would probably make you happier?
I've heard this line "I've just got to approach you, because if I didn't, I'd regret it for the rest of the day" being suggested as an opener because it's honest natural game. Or, extend this line to a couple or more "I just had to come here because I'd regret it for the rest of the day if I let this opportunity pass without doing something about it". That sounds like a natural game because you really will regret it if you don't approach, and they say regret is worst than rejection. Rejection is like medicine, you get a shot, and you feel better afterwards because you know you can handle it and it's not a big deal. You continue approaching again like you don't care or think rejection is a big deal - then that's confidence in itself when you don't let rejection issues bother you. But regret, you just feel that you missed out on something, a potential FB, gf, or whatever, and you get more lazy while thinking what 'could have been'.
The reason this thread is written is because the OP is feeling regret for not approaching which is a long-term lingering feeling. Rejection in contrast is quick, like a few minutes in duration, and you can easily diffuse it by approaching other women in the environs right away, but you feel deep down inside that you had the guts to do it, and at least feel like a man that pursues what he wants, even if it doesn't go his way.
I've heard this line "I've just got to approach you, because if I didn't, I'd regret it for the rest of the day" being suggested as an opener because it's honest natural game. Or, extend this line to a couple or more "I just had to come here because I'd regret it for the rest of the day if I let this opportunity pass without doing something about it". That sounds like a natural game because you really will regret it if you don't approach, and they say regret is worst than rejection. Rejection is like medicine, you get a shot, and you feel better afterwards because you know you can handle it and it's not a big deal. You continue approaching again like you don't care or think rejection is a big deal - then that's confidence in itself when you don't let rejection issues bother you. But regret, you just feel that you missed out on something, a potential FB, gf, or whatever, and you get more lazy while thinking what 'could have been'.
The reason this thread is written is because the OP is feeling regret for not approaching which is a long-term lingering feeling. Rejection in contrast is quick, like a few minutes in duration, and you can easily diffuse it by approaching other women in the environs right away, but you feel deep down inside that you had the guts to do it, and at least feel like a man that pursues what he wants, even if it doesn't go his way.
Miguel
Don Juan
Yah, werid thing about approaching is even if every set goes terrible, then you still begin to develope that thick skin. Once you get really used to it, you start to become so confident that women can't help be be attracted to you. it's bizzare, but I'm pretty sure the ability to aproach at all translates into women being attracted to you... And once you get good, then it translates into the women wanting you... hard.
Anyways, I think savory sumed it best, don't worry about aproaching, it's not a personality test, it's a skill. And like all skills, the more you do it, the better you get.
(Actually, it's not a hard skill at all really, you actually already KNOW what to do, you just need to discover what works for you.)
Anyways, I think savory sumed it best, don't worry about aproaching, it's not a personality test, it's a skill. And like all skills, the more you do it, the better you get.
(Actually, it's not a hard skill at all really, you actually already KNOW what to do, you just need to discover what works for you.)
Maybe you are ugly and feel self confident because you are so ugly and you fear that women might not be into ugliness? So the obvious solution would be to deuglyfy yourself and build some confidence.
A good suggestion would be to go to the gym and get less ugly
Wear a ski mask to hide ugliness or
mack on blind chicks.
A good suggestion would be to go to the gym and get less ugly
Wear a ski mask to hide ugliness or
mack on blind chicks.
Did you start working out? I remember you posted a thread earlier about it but never heard if you actually followed through.
Are you still paranoid about your looks? If so, you need to work on that.
If you "can't approach" then it's because you're choosing not to. Stop being a pu$$y and just do it. I don't care if you go up to a girl and introduce yourself then make a huge idiot out of yourself; even that would be a step forward from where you are now. So stop worrying about failing (because you will fail the first few times) and just go for it.
Are you still paranoid about your looks? If so, you need to work on that.
If you "can't approach" then it's because you're choosing not to. Stop being a pu$$y and just do it. I don't care if you go up to a girl and introduce yourself then make a huge idiot out of yourself; even that would be a step forward from where you are now. So stop worrying about failing (because you will fail the first few times) and just go for it.