What's in it for me????

[SoldMySoul]

This is starting to be my new take on things even as selfish as it sounds! I have had many set backs the last 4 years and dealt with enough garbage to fill your local landfill. Chapter 7 with house included, injury requiring neck surgery and lost job from that and another accident, failed business, dealing with women I should have never allowed in my life and generally getting the short end of the stick many of times.

I am realizing it is all about me and if anything in life which includes women, business deals, my social life and anything else I come first. If there is nothing in it for me, I am not wasting my time!!!

Call me greedy, call me selfish, but since it is all about me from now on, I really will not care and once you get to this point of losing everything and having to rebuild yourself, You will feel the same!

WARRIOR74, HOW IS THAT FOR THE WIN?

 

[5string]

SoldMySoul.....I don't think there is anything wrong with your attitude. Sorry to hear that you have been through so much but hey, sounds like you are focused and pointed in the right direction.

Stay the course and good luck.

 

[TheAsianLoverReturns]

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I know how you feel.

What's in it for me is a bad way to do business.

I give advice freely in my brick and mortar business and online business. Most of the time, I don't get nothing, other times, I get new clients.

That's how the universe works.

There's a difference between giving and being a sucker. Don't let people take advantage of you, and help people freely.

Your rewards will be great.

 

[Warrior74]

It's not selfish to look after your own self interest. :rockon: The good news is, most times your self interest and theirs align and everyone wins.

 

[SoldMySoul]

What's in it for me is a bad way to do business.

Well that may have some truth and I do not see me trying another business endeavor for a long time and more than likely, never.

I have had my KARMA come back and I certainly believe in it.... as I have gotten my just desserts..Learned lessons the hard way too. Hard head makes a soft a$$.

Back to business, people are in business MAINLY to get paid and make money, otherwise, they wouldn't be doing it. Sure there are some that love what they do, but doing it for free is not paying the bills. I do appreciate the biz owner that helps people too, I was one of them and it cost me my a$$. (brother and I had together and fronted the cash and he kind of bailed)

It is still about me!!!!!! Please do not misunderstand me. I had a friend, had being the key here, that tried to fvck everybody over just to get his. He was always trying to beat somebody out of something. I can respect trying to get yours, but being heavy handed about it and trying to ream folks will bite you. He tried to do me that way too. I have known him for over 30 years and I doubt we will ever speak again. No loss!!!!

I am simply stating if the situation whatever it may be or include does not benefit my best interest, NEXT!!!!!!!!!!

 

[vatoloco]

See here.

 

[SoldMySoul]

See here.

I am glad we are on the same page!!! Thanks!!! After awhile, you see that most people are into themselves and look after them. It is a lesson you learn the hard way. Sure I have serious trust issues and that is something I will need to rectify in my own way and own time, but IT IS STILL ABOUT ME!!!

I have lived in GA for 38 years of my life and next week moving to be with brother who screwed me over. It is in LA. I need the change and I am taking my new attitude with me. Yes, I have forgiven my brother and he is wanting to help me because he is some of the reason I had to file chapter 7. I'd never loan him money though!

 

[Mr.Positive]

Sold...don't sell your soul!

I know you've had to face a lot of challenges in your recent past, but adopting a "taker's" mindset I think is more on the lines of stooping to level of others, rather than succeeding in making your life better.

Your post is the exact mindset of a lot of women these days, and you know where they end up? Miserable. They blame others, never themselves, and they go through life trying to take what they feel is what they are entitled to.

The victims in life are the ones that never take responsibility for what happens to them, and thus perpetuates a cycle that they never grow out of.

I say adopt a mindset of taking the tough punches, and bouncing back up knowing that you come back stronger.

Pain is weakness leaving the body, my old DI said. Don't let folks take from you, and don't take from others. You can give to others without being taken advantage of, when you give on your own terms.

You don't need to put yourself first always to get ahead in life, if you know you can lead your life in a direction that inspires the folks around you.

 

[Boilermaker]

This old western notion of "me, my interest, my money, my family, my land" selfishness, and its deep impact on children while they are brought up around this culture, in my opinion, has done much harm to this society.

The exact opposite of this notion got the innocent Iraqi driver and his two daughters shot by 13 mm rounds from a US helicopter while he was simply trying to help gunned down civilians in Iraq on his way to school his daughters were attending (See Collateral Murder if you don't know what I am talking about)...

Sorry about your troubles but bitter selfishness isn't your salvation.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Sold...don't sell your soul!

When I started my business in 2006, it felt I sold my soul and I used it as my screen name here. NOW SS KNOWS HOW MY NAME COME TO BE!!! I still like it as it cost me plenty!!!

I am not a taker, and usually a giver to those I feel deserve it. I never could be a taker in the literally sense and IF I do take, I am giving back as well.

When I say what is it in for me, I am not talking about material things necessarily, but just mean I will not waste my time for nothing. I have wasted too much time and money in the past and no longer wish to do it any longer. If someone is giving to me, I am giving back.

I like this adage: Treat me well, I will treat you better; treat me bad, I will treat you worse.

Sorry about your troubles but bitter selfishness isn't your salvation.

No bitterness here, just waking up to reality as it truly is and not how I want it to be. If you do not look after yourself, no one else will. The strife I have been through keeps me going and has made me stronger... Has it changed my overall outlook of people, uh... yeah!!!!

Your war story is a bad comparison in my opinion.. Do not mistake me for someone that takes advantage of anyone, not me and I could not be that way. My upbringing was much to good for that behavior. I will still treat women like a gentleman and respect those that do me. For the women that behave in an abhorrent fashion with their disrespect, I will not give an honest chance. In the past I would allow some wiggle room, but no longer.

It's not selfish to look after your own self interest. :rockon: The good news is, most times your self interest and theirs align and everyone wins.

I think you get what I was trying to convey.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I have learned from experience never to complain about how tough my job is, how sick I've been lately, or how much sleep I've lost last week. In any group of more than 2 people I can guarantee you there's a guy who eats sh!t for a living, a guy who's got some incurable cancer and a chronic insomniac.

 

[The Duke]

Life is all about "balance". You will never be successful with the "i am the only one that matters attitude". The key is surrounding yourself with the right people who can help you get where you want to go and you will have to help them as well.

 

[Kailex]

I have learned from experience never to complain about how tough my job is, how sick I've been lately, or how much sleep I've lost last week. In any group of more than 2 people I can guarantee you there's a guy who eats sh!t for a living, a guy who's got some incurable cancer and a chronic insomniac.

Same here. I gave that all up when I called my sister one day because I had to vent on a terrible work situation that had ocurred to me. I was complaining about how "life was unfair".

She let me finish my rant and just said this:

"I just had to tell my very first patient that she has 6 weeks to live. She has inoperable cancer and it's definitely in its final stages. She was here alone and had no family or friends with her. She cried on my shoulder and I could barely hug her back. Want to run that by me again about your terrible day at work?"

Ever since then, I haven't had a single bad day.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I have learned from experience never to complain about how tough my job is, how sick I've been lately, or how much sleep I've lost last week. In any group of more than 2 people I can guarantee you there's a guy who eats sh!t for a living, a guy who's got some incurable cancer and a chronic insomniac.

I think many folks misunderstood my overall intent. When I was working in emergency medical services, I would see all types of people from all walks of life. I would be helping the quadriplegics and paraplegics and if I were in a negative frame, I would always think, "and I think I have it bad?" Then I would be thankful for what I did have.

This post was not a b1tch session or complaint announcement, it was merely a change in my attitude. As a matter of fact, I was injured doing this work HELPING others and I gave up 25% of my body literally for doing so. The pay was not that great either.

I have sacrificed much for others. Had people die in my arms, saw people trying to kill themselves and dealt with the world's scum (law enforcement/ corrections before ems).

While it is easy to Rollo, to point out this out, but you are employed!!! I was hurt doing my job and now have no job and permanently disabled 25% from it. I also had several bad things hit at once.

I do recognize that there is always someone worse off, and the reason for my post was a paradigm shift in my attitude. Not an entitlement one, not a screw everybody one, but a one that demonstrates my acceptance in the cards as they were dealt to me and I am never going to waste my time again.... That's all! My core principals remain the same, but I just will not put up with crap any longer.

In 1996, I watched my mother succumb to pancreatic cancer at the young age of 45. Her zest for life was uncanny!!! Her heart was of gold! I know all too well about others going through misery as being around it and seeing it in mom.

This post was me saying I am enduring and going to be stronger and beat this thing we call life... or give it a damn good run for the money.

After the $hit I have seen and gone through, many people would give up. I have not given up and I endure!!!!

 

[CrashOverRide]

I think many folks misunderstood my overall intent. When I was working in emergency medical services, I would see all types of people from all walks of life. I would be helping the quadriplegics and paraplegics and if I were in a negative frame, I would always think, "and I think I have it bad?" Then I would be thankful for what I did have.

This post was not a b1tch session or complaint announcement, it was merely a change in my attitude. As a matter of fact, I was injured doing this work HELPING others and I gave up 25% of my body literally for doing so. The pay was not that great either.

I have sacrificed much for others. Had people die in my arms, saw people trying to kill themselves and dealt with the world's scum (law enforcement/ corrections before ems).

While it is easy to Rollo, to point out this out, but you are employed!!! I was hurt doing my job and now have no job and permanently disabled 25% from it. I also had several bad things hit at once.

I do recognize that there is always someone worse off, and the reason for my post was a paradigm shift in my attitude. Not an entitlement one, not a screw everybody one, but a one that demonstrates my acceptance in the cards as they were dealt to me and I am never going to waste my time again.... That's all! My core principals remain the same, but I just will not put up with crap any longer.

In 1996, I watched my mother succumb to pancreatic cancer at the young age of 45. Her zest for life was uncanny!!! Her heart was of gold! I know all too well about others going through misery as being around it and seeing it in mom.

This post was me saying I am enduring and going to be stronger and beat this thing we call life... or give it a damn good run for the money.

After the $hit I have seen and gone through, many people would give up. I have not given up and I endure!!!!

You sound like you have learned some real life lessons. More power to you.

Continuing to help others but above all keeping your self respect sounds like the right path. You also sound like you are on it now. Best of luck in life!

 

[SoldMySoul]

You sound like you have learned some real life lessons. More power to you.

Continuing to help others but above all keeping your self respect sounds like the right path. You also sound like you are on it now. Best of luck in life!

Thanks!! I certainly appreciate it! Sometimes our intent is lost over the net. It is just easier for people when there times are going well to judge those who are going through turmoil.

I entered into to EMS to help others, not because I was going to get rich that is for sure.

 

[SandHawk]

I don't see what's wrong with standing up for yourself and tell people to get the f*ck out when their interests conflict with yours, or when they exclusively leech off your energy / never return anything.

That is my exclusive way of dealing with life: If I don't get anything from it, I just bail. Investing a lot of time and effort in something that has no turn over is a waste of time. Life is a like a giant stock market, invest your resources well, and life shall give you profit(good experiences, fun, happiness). When something doesn't deliver any of those or too much misery, don't start with it!

I'm glad you saw the light.

 

[SoldMySoul]

I don't see what's wrong with standing up for yourself and tell people to get the f*ck out when their interests conflict with yours, or when they exclusively leech off your energy / never return anything.

That is my exclusive way of dealing with life: If I don't get anything from it, I just bail. Investing a lot of time and effort in something that has no turn over is a waste of time. Life is a like a giant stock market, invest your resources well, and life shall give you profit(good experiences, fun, happiness). When something doesn't deliver any of those or too much misery, don't start with it!

I'm glad you saw the light.

I am glad you got my intent!!!!

 

[mrRuckus]

"I just had to tell my very first patient that she has 6 weeks to live. She has inoperable cancer and it's definitely in its final stages. She was here alone and had no family or friends with her. She cried on my shoulder and I could barely hug her back. Want to run that by me again about your terrible day at work?"

Ever since then, I haven't had a single bad day.

That's silly to me. I am allowed to fvcking feel bad about my day and screw my family or friends if they don't give a sh1t.

My toe still hurts when i stub it regardless if someone on the other side of the planet just got their leg blown off.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

"What's in it for me???" is the first step of a man unplugging from the Matrix. I commend you.

However,

In order to get what he wants in this world, he'll have to plug back in, from time to time, in his own way. And in order to acquire all the wealth and power he could ever want, his mindset becomes one of "What can I do for you?", "you" being humanity as a whole. A good man knows that his reward is directly equal to his contribution; so in order to advance, he knows he must only increase his contribution.