What do you do when losing attraction?

[I'm in the Mood]

I was chatting with a girl on on the phone last night.
I was tired and completely off my game, so I let her get to me and her attraction level dropped. I eventually was like "I'm falling asleep here so I gotta go."

Even though she told me she didn't want me to go, this problem is more about me, because I said I was going to go to bed at 2:05 am and we ended up talking until 2:20, and that shows that I'm losing control.

The solution to this dilemma is way more important to me than ANY girl! Losing control is very frustrating.

When you're losing attraction, what do you do?
What is the best thing you can do to regain control and your composure?

I'd like some ideas to refresh my own memory and get back on track to attract.

I want to have more fun and worry less about "getting the girl," and relationships and sex; stuff like that just holds me back from having the fun that I want to have!

I always turn into a wussy while in comfort with girls.
Somebody show me the light...

 

[Erik V]

If you only spent fifteen more minutes with her, that is not too much!

I suppose the one thing you can do to regain attraction is to stay away for a while, and suggest you do something new together. Also let a girl see you among friends, including other girls.

And win a million dollars. Always helps!

 

[tsmith2334]

No contact for 7-14 days.

Works like a charm.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

No contact for 7-14 days.

Works like a charm.

She usually texts me.
Should I ignore her next few texts/why?

 

[nismo-4]

Stay away for a while or she'll get totally bored. Maybe this is why half of marriages end in divorces.

Case closed.

 

[SchoolBoy]

She usually texts me.
Should I ignore her next few texts/why?

Yes ignore her texts for a week.. distance in the right amount builds attraction..

 

[The Grey Fox]

yeah just ignore her for a bit, it'll confuse her. It's a bit too easy really haha

 

[tsmith2334]

She usually texts me.
Should I ignore her next few texts/why?

Ignore ALL the stupid/pointless texts.

If she texts you anything important, like trying to make plans... you could respond to those. But limit your supply.

Just don't initiate any contact for about 10-14 days. If she's used to you contacting her that WILL build attraction.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Ignore ALL the stupid/pointless texts.

If she texts you anything important, like trying to make plans... you could respond to those. But limit your supply.

Just don't initiate any contact for about 10-14 days. If she's used to you contacting her that WILL build attraction.

She always initiates contact with me, so I dunno if that will build any attraction cause I wouldn't be taking anything away from her, other than my replies to her texts.

One last thing - is "Hey, how are you?" or anything along the lines of trying to start a conversation based on 'small talk' pointless?

I think I should be ignoring people more when they text/email unless they greet me creatively, ya know, without that stupid small talk component. Small talk is really just looking for rapport/conversation. Unless it's interesting stuff of course.

 

[horaholic]

Brad,
(An instructer at RSD) says to ONLY respond to texts that will further your progress with the girl. This means, if you text her at all, it needs to be value giving, sexual, funny, and/or clever. Dont respond with pointless drivel. Thats what their girlfriends are for.

Also, if you arent on your game, and she's getting bored, get off the phone, or end the date, or whatever. Dont hurt your cause. This can also have the added bonus of her missing you.

BTW, if your talking to a girl at 2AM, you're missing a golden opportunity for sexy talk. Especially, if she's in bed. Its so easy its ridiculous. "What are you wearing?" "You'd be a lot warmer if I was next to you" "Do you feel as lonely as I do right now?" "What would you want me to do to you, if i were with you right now?" Escalate this to phone sex. EASY.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Brad,
(An instructer at RSD) says to ONLY respond to texts that will further your progress with the girl. This means, if you text her at all, it needs to be value giving, sexual, funny, and/or clever. Dont respond with pointless drivel. Thats what their girlfriends are for.
BTW, if your talking to a girl at 2AM, you're missing a golden opportunity for sexy talk. Especially, if she's in bed.

Hmm, that's some real good stuff; by controlling conversation topics, you control the relationship! I'll keep all of my convos with my targets to romantic/sexual/attractive.

We've talked about phone sex before, I'm going to look into that topic. I don't think she's the kind of girl I would get into a serious relationship with, but I think that we're destined to be fvckbuddies

You stayed on the phone an extra 15 minutes? OH NO SAY IT AIN'T SO! Honestly dude, there are a lot worse things you could be doing, so don't sweat it, you haven't done anything serious yet.

I know this decreased attraction because I felt my mindset slipping away and she was gaining the upper-hand with me. I set a boundary with her, I said "I have to go to bed by 2, but I'll give you 5 extra minutes, so 2:05."

15 minutes past 2:05...
I had lost track of time and was about to drop my head on the desk.

This is about frame control, and I've learned that when I'm tired, I shouldn't be gaming. I know she's sexually attracted to me, but I won't let myself intentionally or unintentionally repel any woman without learning how to correct my mistakes and prevent them for the future.

Before I hung up, she asked when we would talk again, and I said Tuesday.
Depending on her behavior I might just make other plans on Tuesday night

 

[marinetti]

Stop worrying about her and get on with your own life for a few days. When you talk to her again tell her about the things you've been up to.

Sounds to me like you're putting so much importance into this that you're reading WAY too much into tiny little things.

 

[tsmith2334]

Brad,
(An instructer at RSD) says to ONLY respond to texts that will further your progress with the girl. This means, if you text her at all, it needs to be value giving, sexual, funny, and/or clever. Dont respond with pointless drivel.

this is 100% true.

when I say no contact, I mean don't initiate and don't talk for the sake of talking.

if she texts you small talk, ignore it... if she wants to hang out, then by all means respond

 

[I'm in the Mood]

Well it's been 4 days and neither of us has tried to contact each other.

So far so good with the no contact. It's a change from us texting everyday, but as a Don Juan, what should I be thinking?

She used to text me every single day, which I liked. Does a Don Juan like attention though? Does a normal human being like attention?

I do eventually want another date with this girl, but do I wait to keep attraction, or do I act now, and then step back after chatting and flirting and having a good time?

 

[tsmith2334]

Well it's been 4 days and neither of us has tried to contact each other.

So far so good with the no contact. It's a change from us texting everyday, but as a Don Juan, what should I be thinking?

She used to text me every single day, which I liked. Does a Don Juan like attention though? Does a normal human being like attention?

I do eventually want another date with this girl, but do I wait to keep attraction, or do I act now, and then step back after chatting and flirting and having a good time?

4 days, pretty good. I say wait another 3-5

Around day 8 or 9, text her again. Ask her to hang out. Text her with specific plans. Watch, she'll agree to it or atleast counter-offer

Here is what you must remember about no contact though. As far as she knows, it wasn't intentional

Don't text her on day 8 and say "hey haven't talked you in a week! miss me?" or "so sorry i've been tied up all week and haven't gotten a chance to talk"... or anything like that.

Don't even acknowledge the NC. IF she mentions it, say "oh yea? guess i've just been busy" and leave it at that.

The trick to No Contact is you're faking a lack of interest/ "nexting her" and she tries that much harder to increase your IL. Right now, her mind is probably racing like yours is, thinking something like "he hasn't texted me in 4 days, what gives?"

That's the beauty of no contact.

 

[tsmith2334]

Two Tip Section threads I made that apply here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=170040

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=169841

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

Sounds like you're in the same boat I was in the last few days: over-thinking.

Its a problem if you make it a problem.