Went through her phone.... - not good

[TheGambino]

I feel fvcking stupid that I told her I see her as ltr potential and that I really want to try. She just craved for my uncertainty, cex, fear of loss but now that she knows that she has me, the thrill for her is over because she means it that the other guy seems as a better option and that I’m not ltr pot for her for a longer time.

why would that be a sh*t test? If her interest level would be so high she wouldn’t dare to say such a thing or even kiss a guy even tho we’re casually hooking up.

I think the fear of loss and letting her chase is what kept this fwb going for so long. Now I showed my cards and she now she’s sure we need to stop.

It’s an tough learning experience for me again. The one thing I’m happy about is that I’m probably glued to the “rejection breeds obsession” instead of actually wanting her as my girlfriend because if that was the case I wouldn’t played her along in the beginning. I would ltr her in the first months when I could.

We live and learn I guess.

 

[Divorced w 3]

At this point if you guys aren’t vibing beyond the cat and mouse with sex routine you are going to have to get comfortable with how this actually functions or do what is best for you

 

[EyeBRollin]

She also said that she made her mind a longer time ago

Yep. Cause you played games for months. She can’t take you seriously. This was your own doing.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yep. Cause you played games for months. She can’t take you seriously. This was your own doing.

Maybe or not. If she was always this way and never genuine then op is mistaken that there is genuine intention, she would have tipped her hand well before now if she was. So if it’s just sex you have to be able to see it. I have been op on both options, most of us have.

 

[Bokanovsky]

@ABC123

Agree. She said she only kissed. But

Text to her girlfriend

Myplate: he was so * (shy emoji)
Her: did he text you already?
Myplate: no i can’t waiitt

and she mentions. I brought my girlfriend breakfast on bed. (Who does that for her girl friend)

I think she meant him…
She also said that the fiancé of her girl was also in the city going out so she probably went together and my plate took that guy home. Just my gut feeling.

He probably one night standed her so she reaches out to me today after we spent that night I wrote about above. So she keeps me as an option until that guy works out.

just my gut… so yeah your right

I think you're probably right about that. Always trust your gut.

For what it's worth, it seems that this girl does not see you as LTR material. Maybe it's because of something you said or did, maybe it's due to factors outside of your control (or some combination of the two). At the end of the day, if you actually care about her, your best bet is to walk away, as paradoxical as it may sound. The longer you stay in this situation, the more grief you're going to cause yourself.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Lmfao @BPH

I texted her.

Me: In that case I am open to talk.
Her: talk about what?
Me: let’s not do that true WhatsApp but face to face
Her: the guy didn’t text me yet but if he does I’m probably going to date him
Me: ok then do that
Her: will that change anything for you ?

Man, have some fvcking self-respect and end it. This is beyond pathetic IMO.

 

[Velasco]

“rejection breeds obsession” instead of actually wanting her as my girlfriend because if that was the case I wouldn’t played her along in the beginning

Yup. Rejection will have you jumping through all sorts of hoops to get her back. Only to treat her like sh1t again not soon after she takes you back. Many such cases

 

[Divorced w 3]

Man, have some fvcking self-respect and end it. This is beyond pathetic IMO.

It’s pathetic bc it sounds like he’s not being true to himself he’s going to anguish in feeling for her. If it was simply sex he would have no problem hooking up the next few weeks until she made her mind up to commit to the new guy

 

[TheGambino]

It’s pathetic bc it sounds like he’s not being true to himself he’s going to anguish in feeling for her. If it was simply sex he would have no problem hooking up the next few weeks until she made her mind up to commit to the new guy

That’s true. I just cant be intimate with her while sees feeling another guy, that disgusts me.

 

[The Duke]

I feel fvcking stupid that I told her I see her as ltr potential and that I really want to try. She just craved for my uncertainty, cex, fear of loss but now that she knows that she has me, the thrill for her is over because she means it that the other guy seems as a better option and that I’m not ltr pot for her for a longer time.

why would that be a sh*t test? If her interest level would be so high she wouldn’t dare to say such a thing or even kiss a guy even tho we’re casually hooking up.

I think the fear of loss and letting her chase is what kept this fwb going for so long. Now I showed my cards and she now she’s sure we need to stop.

It’s an tough learning experience for me again. The one thing I’m happy about is that I’m probably glued to the “rejection breeds obsession” instead of actually wanting her as my girlfriend because if that was the case I wouldn’t played her along in the beginning. I would ltr her in the first months when I could.

We live and learn I guess.

Its true, they crave some uncertainty. But you can't ignore the fact the part you played in this.


Let me make it really clear for ya:
The fact that you are insecure, selfish, indecisive, and have a big undeserving ego thats a cover up for whats lacking beneath the surface is what you really need to focus on.

What in the hell do you expect her to do with a clown like yourself? Youre a drunk all over the road. She can't follow that.

 

[TheGambino]

Man, have some fvcking self-respect and end it. This is beyond pathetic IMO.

You can read in the comments what happened. I told her I was serious about dating and future exclusivity she declined and said it’s too late for that and we tried. I just fvcked her one more time and bailed out in the morning.

 

[BPH]

I’m trying to learn and move on

Good places to start would be A. not going through a plate's phone and B. not gaslighting that plate for operating in the framework you created.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You can read in the comments what happened. I told her I was serious about dating and future exclusivity she declined and said it’s too late for that and we tried. I just fvcked her one more time and bailed out in the morning.

Just click the link and you'll can erase her memory and create a better one:

 

[Divorced w 3]

Here’s one idea but it’s a long shot and dependent on how she views your relationship and herself. Tell her she’s choosing sex over principles if you have received any inclination from her that your relationship is genuine. I don’t think she’s ever implied you guys were doing more than banging but if there was an opportunity to get her anti slvt defense working on your terms that may be a Hail Mary lol

 

[TheGambino]

Here’s one idea but it’s a long shot and dependent on how she views your relationship and herself. Tell her she’s choosing sex over principles if you have received any inclination from her that your relationship is genuine. I don’t think she’s ever implied you guys were doing more than banging but if there was an opportunity to get her anti slvt defense working on your terms that may be a Hail Mary lol

shw told me in the morning that it’s better that we quit. We don’t text anymore and nothing serious will come out of it. We made out and we left. I deleted her number she doesn’t see my profile pic so she knows I deleted her number.

I don’t think she will reach out maybe in a month or so when she’s drunk at 2 am.

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

 

[BPH]

shw told me in the morning that it’s better that we quit. We don’t text anymore and nothing serious will come out of it. We made out and we left. I deleted her number she doesn’t see my profile pic so she knows I deleted her number.

I don’t think she will reach out maybe in a month or so when she’s drunk at 2 am.

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

Nah where you f***ed up is when you decided she should be exclusive to you when you're not being exclusive to her. You became invasive, indecisive, and manipulative. You set a precedent that she adhered to, and got upset when she adhered to it. Your feelings changed, you don't communicate that, and instead decided to get upset with her for meeting with a guy that values her the way you NOW do.

I don't even know about the whole prison story, though I do remember seeing that post having some impact on this.

You need to become more comfortable being decisive and upfront, and not blaming someone else (this girl) for YOUR mistakes (not communicating that you wanted a LTR, going through her phone, gaslighting her for meeting with another guy while YOU were meeting with other girls, etc).

 

[Gameplayer007]

shw told me in the morning that it’s better that we quit. We don’t text anymore and nothing serious will come out of it. We made out and we left. I deleted her number she doesn’t see my profile pic so she knows I deleted her number.

I don’t think she will reach out maybe in a month or so when she’s drunk at 2 am.

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

Im still reading all the posts to catch up, but yeah dude you need to move on. But take this as a lesson and learn from it. It sounds like to me, from the few posts here and there, just as you put her on a plate, she also put you on a plate too. Imo, the biggest lesson I think you should learn from this is you always imply to her that you're the higher value man. Scarcity creates value, and once you said the "LTR potential" that showed that you entered into her hands at that point.

First though you need to practice self-respect, and I'm going to say that again, practice self-respect. I'll comment maybe more once I've fully read, but it sounds like you went with the flow of being an FWB at some point rather than be the leader. Don't be stuck to one woman or let her be the queen over you dude. Let them know what you want, and if they don't respect that then you walk away. Not worth your time if they try to negotiate something else you don't want. One of the big thing's I've learned with women is when they start disrespecting you, then you need to give them the gift of missing you forever. Now granted the situation I was in is vastly different than yours, but my point in saying that is you need to show her you value yourself so much, that you don't tolerate anything less. But again I haven't read all the comments so I'll let you know more thoughts once fully done

 

[TheGambino]

Im still reading all the posts to catch up, but yeah dude you need to move on. But take this as a lesson and learn from it. It sounds like to me, from the few posts here and there, just as you put her on a plate, she also put you on a plate too. Imo, the biggest lesson I think you should learn from this is you always imply to her that you're the higher value man. Scarcity creates value, and once you said the "LTR potential" that showed that you entered into her hands at that point.

First though you need to practice self-respect, and I'm going to say that again, practice self-respect. I'll comment maybe more once I've fully read, but it sounds like you went with the flow of being an FWB at some point rather than be the leader. Don't be stuck to one woman or let her be the queen over you dude. Let them know what you want, and if they don't respect that then you walk away. Not worth your time if they try to negotiate something else you don't want. One of the big thing's I've learned with women is when they start disrespecting you, then you need to give them the gift of missing you forever. Now granted the situation I was in is vastly different than yours, but my point in saying that is you need to show her you value yourself so much, that you don't tolerate anything less. But again I haven't read all the comments so I'll let you know more thoughts once fully done

appreciate that , let me know

 

[TheGambino]

Nah where you f***ed up is when you decided she should be exclusive to you when you're not being exclusive to her. You became invasive, indecisive, and manipulative. You set a precedent that she adhered to, and got upset when she adhered to it. Your feelings changed, you don't communicate that, and instead decided to get upset with her for meeting with a guy that values her the way you NOW do.

I don't even know about the whole prison story, though I do remember seeing that post having some impact on this.

You need to become more comfortable being decisive and upfront, and not blaming someone else (this girl) for YOUR mistakes (not communicating that you wanted a LTR, going through her phone, gaslighting her for meeting with another guy while YOU were meeting with other girls, etc).

She didn’t know I saw other girls but ok I think she made out with way more guys after seeing this just opening herself to other guys and keeping me as an option for pleasure idd. You are right and the harm is done. I also don’t think I can’t do anything else but move on and stick to nc

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

tbh I fvcked up when I said I want something serious. She got me in her web then. I should’ve stfu when I said I’m done two days Ago and she kept texting. Should’ve been unavailable and let her work. It is what it is man

Actually, I believe you f’d up back when you thought telling her that you’d spent time in the hoosegow and that you’d “kill” someone was a way to elevate your thug credibility. At that point any marginally sane woman would put you in the “recreational use only” bracket.