The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[tightgrp]

I know...

i kept her there in order for her to see my ascend .................
(which still hasn't happened, since I've only began walking without crutches this week)

In fact, I didn't want to loose the opportunity for one day she regret and come back crawling

aka, the ultimate AFC.

Anyway, now it's done, and now I have to face the fact that whatever I do, won't affect her (it wasnt affecting anyway)

And since I've know her since we are kids, cutting ties hurt a different kind of hurt, 'cause now I know I've lost contact with that person for the rest of my life.

I know this is extreme loser mindset, so, in the end, it is good that I've finally done it. Now I have space to actually move on.

Im only giving myself a break, because of the motorbike accident, that got me 4 months in bed, in an alien country, with zero friends, poor diet and no exercise.

Now I have friends, I started swiming and Im living with a flatmate... So things are improving.

But it is too much sh?t for a single dude to bear alone

That which does not kill you ... Find a way to make yourself independently resilient. Eliminate weakness. Bear as much as you can alone. It will make you stronger.

 

[Mertz09]

I know...

i kept her there in order for her to see my ascend .................
(which still hasn't happened, since I've only began walking without crutches this week)

In fact, I didn't want to loose the opportunity for one day she regret and come back crawling

aka, the ultimate AFC.

Anyway, now it's done, and now I have to face the fact that whatever I do, won't affect her (it wasnt affecting anyway)

And since I've know her since we are kids, cutting ties hurt a different kind of hurt, 'cause now I know I've lost contact with that person for the rest of my life.

I know this is extreme loser mindset, so, in the end, it is good that I've finally done it. Now I have space to actually move on.

Im only giving myself a break, because of the motorbike accident, that got me 4 months in bed, in an alien country, with zero friends, poor diet and no exercise.

Now I have friends, I started swiming and Im living with a flatmate... So things are improving.

But it is too much sh?t for a single dude to bear alone

Hey Dude. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Take it from an old-timer. This same thing has happened to me several times and they always came back. Only thing is... I was over them and didn't care enough to take them back (Including my ex-wife a few years ago) I HAD MOVED ON. and remember what the Great Yogi Berra said "IT ANINT OVER TILL IT'S OVER".

I was doing No Contact back in the 80's

 

[Lotus Effect]

Thanks mate.

And I gotta tell you, I did beared way too damn much by myself.

I got in Portugal in August, broke with the chick in September, same day I crashed against a tree.

Got surgery on my collar bone, the girl never showed up to see if I was alive. Called someday just to check. Last time we spoke.

After that, I found that the my femur died, got another surgery, which incapacitaded me. I wasnt able to get up from the bed because of the pain, but I had to eventually to use the bathroom or to cook. So I starved for a long while. Lost 12 pounds.

Had to pay for the bike, which was a rental, 3k Euros.
And was cut off payment from my company because Im in medical leave. So no money as well

All of this, with no friends, family or girl.
In a place where I did not know a single person.
At winter.

I have never ever in my entire life felt so sh(tty and so damn lonely.

Tought sh(t.

Only now things are falling into place, now that the doc allowed me swimming and I moved to a new house, with a flatmate, proper fellow.

What doesnt kill you, can almost kill you. I know people that took their lifes for less.

Well, not me! I'm growing stronger

 

[Mertz09]

Thanks mate.

And I gotta tell you, I did beared way too damn much by myself.

I got in Portugal in August, broke with the chick in September, same day I crashed against a tree.

Got surgery on my collar bone, the girl never showed up to see if I was alive. Called someday just to check. Last time we spoke.

After that, I found that the my femur died, got another surgery, which incapacitaded me. I wasnt able to get up from the bed because of the pain, but I had to eventually to use the bathroom or to cook. So I starved for a long while. Lost 12 pounds.

Had to pay for the bike, which was a rental, 3k Euros.
And was cut off payment from my company because Im in medical leave. So no money as well

All of this, with no friends, family or girl.
In a place where I did not know a single person.
At winter.

I have never ever in my entire life felt so sh(tty and so damn lonely.

Tought sh(t.

Only now things are falling into place, now that the doc allowed me swimming and I moved to a new house, with a flatmate, proper fellow.

What doesnt kill you, can almost kill you. I know people that took their lifes for less.

Well, not me! I'm growing stronger

Mate... You must be an Aussie or from S Africa? Hang in there Bro! Im new on here but really like this IT!

 

[Lotus Effect]

You got the hemisphere right!

But nope, I'm from Brazil!

 

[soulforge]

I know...

i kept her there in order for her to see my ascend .................
(which still hasn't happened, since I've only began walking without crutches this week)

In fact, I didn't want to loose the opportunity for one day she regret and come back crawling

aka, the ultimate AFC.

Anyway, now it's done, and now I have to face the fact that whatever I do, won't affect her (it wasnt affecting anyway)

And since I've know her since we are kids, cutting ties hurt a different kind of hurt, 'cause now I know I've lost contact with that person for the rest of my life.

I know this is extreme loser mindset, so, in the end, it is good that I've finally done it. Now I have space to actually move on.

Im only giving myself a break, because of the motorbike accident, that got me 4 months in bed, in an alien country, with zero friends, poor diet and no exercise.

Now I have friends, I started swiming and Im living with a flatmate... So things are improving.

But it is too much sh?t for a single dude to bear alone

Understandable.. You wanted her to see that you are doing better without her.

However it's unlikely she would care only a couple of weeks after the break up. Girls usually experience a change of feelings, months or even years down the line.

Do you think your reaction was mostly rooted in the loss of power?

I mean she ended it with you right.. Would you be compeled to try and prove anything to her, through social media if in-fact you had dumped her?

I suppose when you have been dumped/discarded you are put in a powerless position and the ego takes a hit.

 

[Lotus Effect]

yeah, i agree.

and i know that they only change their hearts down the line.

the thing that is hurting me, is that now that ive deleted her, there is no way for her to have a change of heart, since she will not see anything, cause im off grid.

so those long years, are off limits now, and i have to live with that.

might be good though

 

[Mertz09]

It is. Try not to dwell on what has been. Look forward my friend.

 

[soulforge]

yeah, i agree.

and i know that they only change their hearts down the line.

the thing that is hurting me, is that now that ive deleted her, there is no way for her to have a change of heart, since she will not see anything, cause im off grid.

so those long years, are off limits now, and i have to live with that.

might be good though

It's actually going off the grid completely that will likely more prompt her to reach out.

 

[DreamAgain]

yeah, i agree.

and i know that they only change their hearts down the line.

the thing that is hurting me, is that now that ive deleted her, there is no way for her to have a change of heart, since she will not see anything, cause im off grid.

so those long years, are off limits now, and i have to live with that.

might be good though

Think about it like this. When you are sick, there is a virus in your body. What is the only way to get better? All traces of the virus need to be eliminated.

By not blocking her, you leave traces of the virus in you, which can multiply and spread, affecting you physically and mentally. The body is directly tied to the mind. The anxiety that starts in the mind will manifest physically in your body, and her presence in your life, even through digital means, is enough to do this.

You did the right thing, I was in your shoes before and blocking was the correct decision. It allowed me to move on, meet other women, improve my life.

 

[soulforge]

Think about it like this. When you are sick, there is a virus in your body. What is the only way to get better? All traces of the virus need to be eliminated.

By not blocking her, you leave traces of the virus in you, which can multiply and spread, affecting you physically and mentally. The body is directly tied to the mind. The anxiety that starts in the mind will manifest physically in your body, and her presence in your life, even through digital means, is enough to do this.

You did the right thing, I was in your shoes before and blocking was the correct decision. It allowed me to move on, meet other women, improve my life.

Great analogy. And actually the only way you can move on.

Every reminant of that person must be purged from your life.

 

[Foe]

Day 2:
Got a email (blocked but still see it in spam) with a bunch of explicate pictures asking me to come over. I ignored it but then she email pleading with me to call her.

So I do (/facepalm). She tells me she loves me etc etc, wants me to come over for one night. I ask her if shes able to tell the truth and she says yes, so I ask, those pictures you sent me you sent to someone else too right. I already know the answer but she confirms that she sent it to a guy she "hasnt even kissed yet and reminds her of me".

I get pissed, hang up and go back to NC. The gall of this chick, basically uses me as a backup for whatever response she didn't receive from the other guy. Ive felt like **** for the past couple of days, apparently she can still effect me, learn from my mistakes keep NC.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Eliminate weakness
Kill the Walt Disney fantasy
Grow up
Live the real life

that’s what I thought today

I’ve lived with her
It was my childhood fantasy. Check!

done that, now it is time to move on

 

[soulforge]

Day 2:
Got a email (blocked but still see it in spam) with a bunch of explicate pictures asking me to come over. I ignored it but then she email pleading with me to call her.

So I do (/facepalm). She tells me she loves me etc etc, wants me to come over for one night. I ask her if shes able to tell the truth and she says yes, so I ask, those pictures you sent me you sent to someone else too right. I already know the answer but she confirms that she sent it to a guy she "hasnt even kissed yet and reminds her of me".

I get pissed, hang up and go back to NC. The gall of this chick, basically uses me as a backup for whatever response she didn't receive from the other guy. Ive felt like **** for the past couple of days, apparently she can still effect me, learn from my mistakes keep NC.

What the hell dude... You must enjoy pain and torturing yourself.

Have you not been going back & forth with this girl for months now?

 

[Foe]

What the hell dude... You must enjoy pain and torturing yourself.

Have you not been going back & forth with this girl for months now?

Years bro........Got that full trauma bond going.

 

[soulforge]

The purpose of No Contact is to permanently move on.

Men try to use NC to get the chick back. Once NC is activated, delete, block and permanently NEXT. No number. No photos. No messages. No emails. No calls. No contact.

100%

Move the F on... You came into this world on your own, you will likely leave on your own.

 

[vato]

You're right. I should be glad. I am glad that she is gone.

I went out tonight with a friend and approached some baddies - explicity chose girls that looked better than my ex. It went really well. Was a bit nervous to approach after not gaming for 3 years. Exchanged some numbers and instas. One girl passed by and told me "what a beauty" - that's a first . Going out tomorrow again and doing the same thing. Feels good after feeling like sh*t for a week.

A little update. Doing better. Was out last weekend at a bar and saw her sister, said hi and kept it moving. I knew her sister was watching me at the bar so I scanned for the best lookin chick and approached her and exchanged insta. I know it's petty but it gave me satisfaction because I know she will tell my ex what she saw.

Guess who contacted me the next day? She wanted to see me and work things out. I told her "nope we're done, you crossed the boundary of no return" and that I would never have a child with someone who has flirted with my friend (she was always pushing for marriage).

Moral of the story, no contact and working on yourself works.

 

[soulforge]

View attachment 12190

A little update. Doing better. Was out last weekend at a bar and saw her sister, said hi and kept it moving. I knew her sister was watching me at the bar so I scanned for the best lookin chick and approached her and exchanged insta. I know it's petty but it gave me satisfaction because I know she will tell my ex what she saw.

Guess who contacted me the next day? She wanted to see me and work things out. I told her "nope we're done, you crossed the boundary of no return" and that I would never have a child with someone who has flirted with my friend (she was always pushing for marriage).

Moral of the story, no contact and working on yourself works.

Weldone man.

Truth is, once it's broken it's broken.

Wether she dumped you, or you dumped her because of her behaviour, going back will 99% of the time fail.

I especially would never got back with an ex who has been piped down by only god knows how many other men.

 

[Foe]

I know it's petty but it gave me satisfaction because I know she will tell my ex what she saw.

I dont think thats petty at all, good move as far as Im concerned with the expected results but you stood your ground. Perfect play.

 

[soulforge]

I dont think thats petty at all, good move as far as Im concerned with the expected results but you stood your ground. Perfect play.

I don't think it's petty either.

Do you guys realise how many women will dump a dude, break his heart & within days begin posting pics of herself on social media having an amazing fun time.. laughing, drinking, partying, knowing very well that the dude she has only just dumped will likely see her social.

They don't care bro.. Neither should you.