The "Join Me and My Friends" first date

[tihash]

From time to time I have a girl counteroffer a first date suggestion with something like this: "Well, my friends and I have plans to go to Club XYZ. You can join us if you want."

Every time I agree to something like this I kick myself afterward. I find it so much easier to have the girl all to myself; you don't have to compete with the friends, somehow an orbiter or 2 always shows up, and the girl doesn't want to look like a slvt in front of the friends.

I take this as a sign of low IL when a chick suggests it and am considering just saying no every time without fail. Have any of you had any success with this type of date?

 

[Robert28]

i hate those types of dates too! i've only had one workout in my life and only because i had the girl to myself afterwards. i think it has alot to do with they're unsure about you so if you get their friends approval then you're good to go, but if not then you're dead in the water. they already have the secret code worked out whether they like you or not. you can usually tell by how the friends treat you. do they talk to you much or at all? do they give you any one on one time with the girl? these are both good signs if they do but if they don't and you feel awkward or like an outcast all night, then you can pretty much tell if you're going to see her again or not. what i do is this, if they want to do a group date, bring a friend or two of yours along that way if things go south you at least have your friends to hangout with. or if you dont want to bring them ask your friends to meet you at such and such place and then act like you accidently bumped into them there.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Though this may not be the case later on...


Early on, whenever a woman asks you to go out on a "group date" with her and her friends, it's usually NOT an invitation for you to get to know her--------it's most likely just an invitation for her FRIENDS to get to know the IDENTITY of the "latest" guy that she's only "marginally' interested in except as a human resource that she can exploit to boost her ego.


Soldier on.

 

[jophil28]

Though this may not be the case later on...


Early on, whenever a woman asks you to go out on a "group date" with her and her friends, it's usually NOT an invitation for you to get to know her--------it's most likely just an invitation for her FRIENDS to get to know the IDENTITY of the "latest" guy that she's only "marginally' interested in except as a human resource that she can exploit to boost her ego.


Soldier on.

Yep . VU speaks ^^

 

[boomerick]

VU ......SHACK!!!!!!

Over and Out.

 

[Desdinova]

Women seem to like hanging out in clusters. This is their 'comfort zone'. It's not necessarily that she isn't interested in you, but she's just trying to neutralize the discomfort of being around a new guy. He could be great, he could be boring. If she throws him into a group of her friends, then she has little or no discomfort. Instead, the discomfort is thrown upon the guy.

 

[squirrels]

You might be able to use her as a "pivot". Don't look at it as a "date". Don't commit to going just because she's there. Leave that as an option of places you can go.

If you DO go there and see her, bust on her a little, see if she's down...at the first hint of resistance, hit on her friends a little, look for other girls there who might want a piece of you, seeing you hang out with all these girls.

What I've found is that every time one of the girls I was seeing pulled that "hang out with me and my friends" crap and I fell for it, there were other women who saw me with those girls and gave me IOIs...I foolishly did not try to open them as well, treating the encounter like a "date", and typically got burned for it.

Of course, that's all advanced branch-swinging stuff. The easiest thing to do is to not go and call her on her BS. Laugh at her for failing at dating.

 

[Nutz]

OP nailed it, when they pull that it's a sign of low investment. However, it can also be several other things or a mix of them all:

She's not comfort being alone with you.
She's an attention hor and wants all the attention she can get (as indicated by having you hang around competing for her attnetion with a bunch of other orbiters).


ALWAYS the best option is to not play their little game. IF IF IF you do show up it has to be with a couple girls in town, one of which is giving you enough attention so you don't have the time to compete with the other guys for the attention of your "date".

 

[Warrior74]

Politely refuse. That's the best way to go. Then go for a solo adventure later. Two of the last girls I dated pulled this at first. I declined, hit em back later and we had fun. I consider it a sh1t test.

You never hang out with a girls friends and you never bring her around yours before you seal the deal. You can bring her around your friends,but only if you know she has high interest and that you are well respected amongst your friends. That's been my best experience.

 

[quicklearner]

All women must read same version of their own DJ-Bible

____
Tihash…

Your description is a variation on a theme of, “can I bring some friends along”

…these women are NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.

This happened to me once, and I handled it a way that the girl and her friends would remember it the rest of her life.

I played it by saying, that I would pick her and her friends up at certain time and take them all out for dinner just to be with her. Except, she was stupid enough, to believe me.

Well, you should have seen the look/reaction, when nobody showed up. Later, when she saw me the same night with another girl. The shock/look was priceless.

For simplicity, I suggest you de-attach yourself form these types of girl and pursue other ventures.

But, you can try my suggestion for fun.

 

[Hemingway]

You might be able to use her as a "pivot".

If I was interested in the venue, I think I would automatically just immediately switch to this mode. "Oh, you don't want to accept my invitation, then you can introduce me to your girlfriends." An intro will get you some creds with her friends and who knows you might hit it off with one of them.

 

[Colossus]

Two words: F*CK. THAT.

 

[hansol]

____

This happened to me once, and I handled it a way that the girl and her friends would remember it the rest of her life.

I played it by saying, that I would pick her and her friends up at certain time and take them all out for dinner just to be with her. Except, she was stupid enough, to believe me.

Well, you should have seen the look/reaction, when nobody showed up. Later, when she saw me the same night with another girl. The shock/look was priceless.

LOL now that is classic. I'm gonna file that one away in the playbook.

 

[jonwon]

I agree with VU.

I'd decline, and ask her out on a date with just the two of you.

I'd accept it from a young shy girl but anyone over the age of 16 should know the etiquette of dating and doing first dates with all her friends is a big no no.