The Hot Guy Myth

[mrlocario]

The Hot Guy Myth: The belief that a physically attractive man gets a lot of women because he’s good looking.



Most men and women assume that if a man is physically attractive that he gets with or can get a lot women mainly because he is good looking. It might seem safe to assume that since a guy is handsome that a number of women will be attracted to him, will want to be with him and eventually sleep with him. Even though most people believe this is true the reality of the situation is most “hot guys” don’t get as much women as most people think.



The media plays a big part in why most people assume that a hot guy(HG) can get any woman he wants. When women see guys like Johnny Depp or Idris Elba they would say how hot they are, how much they love them and how much they want to marry them and have sex with them. Other men see women say this about these guys and assume that any guy that looks as good as these guys will get a large amount of women. We all know these guys are rich and famous, but just based on looks I’ve heard women say that they would have sex with these guys in a heartbeat because they think that they are so good looking.



What most women don’t realize is that they are lying when they say that they want to have sex with Johnny Depp or Idris Elba just because they think they are hot. There are a small percentage of women who do but most women are lying. On the surface it may seem like these women would have sex with these guys just because they think they’re physically attractive, but the reality is most of these women are attracted to these guys because of who they think these guys are either from what they have seen in the characters they play in movies or something they read about them in a magazine interview. So these women subconsciously feel like they sort of already know these guys and feel some sort of connection to these guys. That is were the real attraction comes from. They might still think that these guys look good but most of these women don’t just want to have sex with them just because they think they’re hot.



The fact of the matter is if Johnny and Idris weren’t rich and famous they would have to try to get woman just like every other guy. If a guy that looked better than Johnny Depp walked up to a girl on the street and asked her to have sex with him she most likely wouldn’t do it even if she thought he was hot. I had a friend say if she met Idris Elba at a party she would do him. I said to her “you would only do him because he is famous.” She said even if he wasn’t she would do him. She said if she seen a guy who wasn’t famous, looked as good as Idris, and met him at a party she would do him just because she thinks the guy is hot.



I used to go to a lot of parties with this girl. We went to this one party and she pointed out this guy that she thought was hot. She said that she thought he was hotter that Idris Elba. So I asked her if she could sleep with him right now would she do it? She said yes. My friend didn’t know that I knew that guy. When she went to go to the bathroom I went over to him and told him that my friend wants to do him. He said he was down. When she came out the bathroom and I told her she didn’t believe me at first. Then I started pointing her in his direction and he was looking over at us and gesturing her to come over to him. To make a long story short this hot guy wanted to do her and she didn’t do him. She was talking all this stuff and she didn’t have sex with him.



So for people to assume that a guy gets with a lot of women or gets to sleep with a lot of women just because he’s hot is ridiculous. Most women, even if they think a guy looks good, still wont sleep with a guy because either they don’t want to get caught up in their emotions if they have sex, they are scared of catching a disease, they fear they might get pregnant or my personal favorite: they think a guy is a player and has a lot of other girls that he’s having sex with. (He must be having sex with a lot of women right, He’s so hot!!!)



Also sometimes a woman might not have sex with a guy for reasons that have nothing to do with the guy. Some women will cancel a date with a guy because she isn’t feeling sexy. So you will have a hot guy not getting a girl because she doesn’t feel like she looks good. So in this example his physical attractiveness is irrelevant to the situation. The assumption of a (HG) getting any woman he wants would only be true if most women just had sex with men based off of physical attraction.







Some people think that a (HG) would have an easier time picking up woman than a not so hot guy(NSHG). The HG has only a slight advantage over the NSHG in the sense that a woman might notice the HG quicker than the NSHG. The good looks of a HG can be compared to what the world famous pick up artist “Mystery” from Vh1’s “Pick up Artist” does when he is doing his peacock method which entails dressing or wearing something that will make you look interesting or ridiculous (depending on your taste) in an effort to get a girls attention. So at the end of the day the only advantage that the HG has is that he might get a girls attention faster than a NSHG. His advantage stops after he has got her attention.



The physical attractiveness of the HG is temporary. His good looks are like a flame lit on a match. Eventually the flame will die out. This doesn’t mean that the woman doesn’t think he looks good anymore, it just means that it wont take long for the woman to get over that fact that the guy is good looking. Him just relying on his good looks wont be enough to keep a woman around for the long term or in some cases keep her around long enough for him to have sex with her. The hot guy would have to have more going for him than just his looks in order to really make a connection with her. You have to remember that a woman is most attracted to a man that connects with her on an emotional level. The HG and the NSHG both have to have a great seduction game. So is the myth true? Not Really. When all is said and done it’s not really all about the looks. The man who will get the most women is the one who is persistent and has the tightest game.



Mr. Locario

 

[visions]

generally true. a woman's attractiveness to a man is to a man's ability to provide for a woman.

and of course a man's looks are pluses

 

[mrlocario]

generally true. a woman's attractiveness to a man is to a man's ability to provide for a woman.

and of course a man's looks are pluses

Yeah that is true. It's just funny how a lot of guys think they need to be the best looking guy in the world in order to attract women.

 

[sambwoy]

Yeah that is true. It's just funny how a lot of guys think they need to be the best looking guy in the world in order to attract women.

Some women are pretty mean/cruel about guys they aren't attracted to, though, as reflected in the media and public.

 

[floydb25]

The physical attractiveness of the HG is temporary. His good looks are like a flame lit on a match. Eventually the flame will die out. This doesn’t mean that the woman doesn’t think he looks good anymore, it just means that it wont take long for the woman to get over that fact that the guy is good looking. Him just relying on his good looks wont be enough to keep a woman around for the long term or in some cases keep her around long enough for him to have sex with her.

I can attest to that, and had this problem for a while. The girl will still always want to have sex, though. And you'll be given more time / chances, and their interest can swing in your favor easily.

They still become infatuated and fall head over heels, but that wears off... Sooner if you act like a dumbass or sissy. Part of infatuation is wanting to marry you, having your babies, and all that... And they DO act as they think... for a time. But as you say, it's not enough to keep them interested over a long period. In the very beginning, they definitely come on super strong.

Most girls also confuse infatuation with love, and don't realize (or won't admit) that they just want sex with you. FWB situations are more common than LTR's - even IF they act like it's a relationship. It's really not, and shows in how they act and what they say. It's always sex sex sex. Not much different from a hot girl, really.

One thing I will say, though... Women will approach YOU, and you're basically already in. You don't have to gain their interest - only keep it. They'll even throw it in your face. And they will give you more leeway / time to shape up. All you have to do is not screw everything up, and keep their attraction on high. They'll also tell you what they don't like - in hopes that you'll fix it - instead of just lose interest and shrug you off... Because they DO want things to work out.

This is where I used to mess up... thinking it was all in the bag; they were already interested; I could act like a dumbass nice guy, and they'd love me forever... Ha... No. Never become complacent, or think anything is ever concrete. They can (and will) lose interest if you have no game, aren't sexual and assertive, come on too strong, push for a relationship, etc... All things I used to do, because I was already "in". Yea, too bad I was kicked right out.

You can't rely on looks alone. Already tried it; didn't work.

 

[zenaddict]

@mrlocario

value post

I think you should share your ideas on reddit as well, they have a seduction section too

go to

www.reddit.com/r/seduction

it has far more visitors than this forum, I can think you can use that community to your advantage

 

[casaanova]

They still become infatuated and fall head over heels, but that wears off... Sooner if you act like a dumbass or sissy.

Not even. If you're just consistently boring or have a dull personality, they'll be looking to jump ship ASAP. It's the exact same thing a guy feels for a gf who's getting fat. I fit this exact description to the tee back in high school - I'm a pretty good looking dude (no homo), but I had zero confidence and would always wait for the girl to lead the conversation. Even when I dated the butterfaces (5's and below), after about 2 months they would get tired of my sh*t and even start clowning me in front of their other unnatractive friends (and not long after simply toss me to the curb entirely). Keep in mind I'm talking strong 3's and 4's!

 

[floydb25]

Not even. If you're just consistently boring or have a dull personality, they'll be looking to jump ship ASAP. It's the exact same thing a guy feels for a gf who's getting fat. I fit this exact description to the tee back in high school - I'm a pretty good looking dude (no homo), but I had zero confidence and would always wait for the girl to lead the conversation. Even when I dated the butterfaces (5's and below), after about 2 months they would get tired of my sh*t and even start clowning me in front of their other unnatractive friends (and not long after simply toss me to the curb entirely). Keep in mind I'm talking strong 3's and 4's!

Yea... So, where did I say anything to the contrary? I said they become infatuated and fall head over heels in the BEGINNING... This is the very initial spark, but will be lost quickly if you act like a dumbass. In a matter of days, even. But in the very beginning, they're super excited, come on strong, can't stop thinking about you, complimenting you all over the place, etc. Namely when they don't know you, and are only going by your looks - and whatever short-lived interactions you had prior.

I've had the same experiences as you, btw. But mostly with the 8's and up, 'cause I didn't date anyone who wasn't hot... Certainly not for more than a few days... Can't say how it is with the lower end of the scale, but they were always super interested, 'cause I wasn't. And so were the hotties - in the beginning.

Something I learned about the attraction game... Treat those you DO like as if they're the ones you're not interested in. Maybe not to the extreme of DISLIKING them, but none of that head over heels ****... Even if THEY are. Game is a must... Especially with hotties.

I guess it also depends on how good looking you are (in women's eyes). But even if a girl thinks you're hot / sexy / gorgeous (of which several did, back then), and thinks you're the best thing evar, and gives you all these chances - she's still going to lose interest and want you to die eventually... IF you act like a low-class, desperate, insecure, weak chump... Which I was the king of, back then. :crackup:

 

[Hiker]

Agree with OP.

One of my buddies was a virgin until 23 despite his very good looks. A year later, I think his number is still in the single digits.

 

[Zarky]

Knew a girl in high school who thought John Malkovich was the hottest guy in the world.

The nugget I got from OP's post (and there are so few nuggets that are new to me) is that women like these men because they feel as if they already know them.

I think this is true. They've seen them (or rather, their characters) doing stuff that's interesting and larger than life. They've also seen them be human with lots of personality quirks (if it's a good movie). I think this constant exposure is a big part of women's love for movie stars. It's almost as if they have a "relationship" with the star without the star even knowing about it.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Yea... So, where did I say anything to the contrary? I said they become infatuated and fall head over heels in the BEGINNING... This is the very initial spark, but will be lost quickly if you act like a dumbass. In a matter of days, even. But in the very beginning, they're super excited, come on strong, can't stop thinking about you, complimenting you all over the place, etc. Namely when they don't know you, and are only going by your looks - and whatever short-lived interactions you had prior.

I've had the same experiences as you, btw. But mostly with the 8's and up, 'cause I didn't date anyone who wasn't hot... Certainly not for more than a few days... Can't say how it is with the lower end of the scale, but they were always super interested, 'cause I wasn't. And so were the hotties - in the beginning.

Something I learned about the attraction game... Treat those you DO like as if they're the ones you're not interested in. Maybe not to the extreme of DISLIKING them, but none of that head over heels ****... Even if THEY are. Game is a must... Especially with hotties.

I guess it also depends on how good looking you are (in women's eyes). But even if a girl thinks you're hot / sexy / gorgeous (of which several did, back then), and thinks you're the best thing evar, and gives you all these chances - she's still going to lose interest and want you to die eventually... IF you act like a low-class, desperate, insecure, weak chump... Which I was the king of, back then. :crackup:

Yup.. I can totally relate to this (and your other post). This happened to me a few times in high school. Back then I was very insecure. I had game, but once the girl liked me I became terrified of "messing it up" and turned AFC nice guy faggot.

In college it was more about sex. If a girl liked me she would just come to my room and lie down in my bed. Slutty girls and liquid courage neutralized my AFC tendencies a little, but I was still a b!tch compared to now.

In college I was considered a "player" but in reality I was just very insecure so I did a lot of "preemptive break-ups" . When girls got infatuated it always made be very uncomfortable because I believed I was a b!tch inside (or not good enough for her) and she would eventually find out and dump me. Girls put you on a pedestal you didn't earn, thus you will eventually get knocked off. So, to protect my ego I always dumped infatuated girls before they had a chance to lose interest. Maybe it was a smart move, but I did it out of fear every time.

Today I still get girls who like me right out of the gate based on looks. I just take advantage of it and if she loses interest.. whatever. B!tches are not really worth the energy and trouble to be constantly "checking yourself" to make sure you don't say or do something that might lower her interest level. F*ck that. I'm a man and I will live and behave as I please. Any woman who doesn't like it.. there's the door.

Funny thing is.. no matter what your personality... once you show that you don't care if a woman leaves, she will usually stay. :crackup:

 

[mrlocario]

@mrlocario

value post

I think you should share your ideas on reddit as well, they have a seduction section too

go to

www.reddit.com/r/seduction

it has far more visitors than this forum, I can think you can use that community to your advantage

Thanks bro. I'll check that out too.

 

[FinalWay]

Today I still get girls who like me right out of the gate based on looks. I just take advantage of it and if she loses interest.. whatever. B!tches are not really worth the energy and trouble to be constantly "checking yourself" to make sure you don't say or do something that might lower her interest level. F*ck that. I'm a man and I will live and behave as I please. Any woman who doesn't like it.. there's the door.

Funny thing is.. no matter what your personality... once you show that you don't care if a woman leaves, she will usually stay. :crackup:[/QUOTE]

Well put ! I totally agree!

 

[floydb25]

Yup.. I can totally relate to this (and your other post). This happened to me a few times in high school. Back then I was very insecure. I had game, but once the girl liked me I became terrified of "messing it up" and turned AFC nice guy faggot.

In college it was more about sex. If a girl liked me she would just come to my room and lie down in my bed. Slutty girls and liquid courage neutralized my AFC tendencies a little, but I was still a b!tch compared to now.

In college I was considered a "player" but in reality I was just very insecure so I did a lot of "preemptive break-ups" . When girls got infatuated it always made be very uncomfortable because I believed I was a b!tch inside (or not good enough for her) and she would eventually find out and dump me. Girls put you on a pedestal you didn't earn, thus you will eventually get knocked off. So, to protect my ego I always dumped infatuated girls before they had a chance to lose interest. Maybe it was a smart move, but I did it out of fear every time.

Today I still get girls who like me right out of the gate based on looks. I just take advantage of it and if she loses interest.. whatever. B!tches are not really worth the energy and trouble to be constantly "checking yourself" to make sure you don't say or do something that might lower her interest level. F*ck that. I'm a man and I will live and behave as I please. Any woman who doesn't like it.. there's the door.

Funny thing is.. no matter what your personality... once you show that you don't care if a woman leaves, she will usually stay. :crackup:

Yessir... And that's pretty much where you want to be - as your natural state. I don't think a lot of guys realize that all these things they do to win women over (ie, nice guy antics) actually works AGAINST them. They do all this over-the-wall ****, consume themselves with fear and worry - only to crash and burn, and make things a LOT worse for themselves (and obliberate the other parties' interest - just as quickly as it was gained).

But like you said, it always comes down to self-esteem, and not caring what other people think, not worrying about rejection or redicule, taking these personally, or otherwise allowing fear to run the show. I used to sabotage all my interests for the same reasons... I cared too much about what they thought, and was afraid of being abandoned... Gah... People ain't ****... You don't need their approval or acceptance. Who cares what they think? Just enjoy your time with them while it lasts, and don't try to win anyone over.

This is the natural "game" you should have. It works; you don't pedestalize anyone, worry about rejection, wear your heart on a sleeve, worry about losing them, try too hard, chase for ****, or become heart-broken... AND you attract them... All at the same time. That's a whole lot of win, right there.

 

[FinalWay]

Yessir... And that's pretty much where you want to be - as your natural state. I don't think a lot of guys realize that all these things they do to win women over (ie, nice guy antics) actually works AGAINST them. They do all this over-the-wall ****, consume themselves with fear and worry - only to crash and burn, and make things a LOT worse for themselves.

But like you said, it always comes down to self-esteem, and not caring what other people think, not worrying about rejection or redicule, taking these personally, or otherwise allowing fear to run the show. I used to sabotage all my interests for the same reasons... I cared too much about what they thought, and was afraid of being abandoned... Gah... People ain't ****... You don't need their approval or acceptance. Who cares what they think?

I agree. From my opinion, that's why most women come/came on to me when I was in a relationship...mentality is at a normal state. The trick is finding your own happiness and self worth/value for yourself

 

[FairShake]

If you don't think looks are important for women when it comes to guys I don't think you know many women.

Ugly guys do get girls however. They have to work harder and generally need other things going on for them. But they do get girls.

 

[FinalWay]

If you don't think looks are important for women when it comes to guys I don't think you know many women.

Ugly guys do get girls however. They have to work harder and generally need other things going on for them. But they do get girls.

Looks definitely help! However, that's why I said what I said earlier. I consider myself good looking and I've heard from others-not to self boast. Yet when I see more women coming on to me when I'm in a relationship, it makes ya wonder what all goes on in those brains...

 

[zinc4]

if you are weak/super insecure or completely socially inept and/or boring, then it doesn't matter how good looking you are....

 

[sambwoy]

Women go for tall, dark and handsome. End of. I don't wanna go out and meet women for that reason, for I will fail. At any rate, modern life is tough in many aspects, so why should the area of desirability to the opposite sex cut anyone slack? The level of how moronic people are these days has skyrocketed.

I am just left quietly despairing in my own views on life that nobody else understands, and try to help those that can't afford to be shallow, and who don't make such an issue of looks, to hopefully gain something from it. I do things for me alone and no-one else.

 

[Darth]

I can tell you from experience- an attractive guy with a weak attitude gets lots of initial interest, but it fizzles out after about 20 seconds.

I did not get girls in junior high and that is exactly how it was. All the older people told me, "Oh, you must be fighting them off!" But it wasn't true.

You can have the greatest face in the world- but unless there's a good solid head on your shoulders, you will not get women. Very true statement.