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If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

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The Basics Behind The Basics

BrotherAP

Master Don Juan
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After reading hundreds of threads on this website, it has become painstakingly clear that the ideas presented here are rarely understood by posters.

The whole idea of this website is for you to understand the following things:

1) You are a man of value

This has been said a thousand different ways. You are "the prize", you are "alpha", you are a "high-status male." Ninety percent of all questions on this board would never be asked. The first step is understanding that, as a man of value, your attention is worth something. Girls want you to notice them. When a girl does something that you do not like, the best thing you can do is ignore that girl - in other words, your attention is valuable, so denying a girl your attention is denying her something valuable.

So when a girl is giving you trouble in ANY WAY - whether it's asking you questions you don't want to answer, talking about other guys, talking on the phone too much while hanging out with you, trying to elicit undeserved favors, getting mad for not calling, etc. the correct way to approach the porblem is "does this behavior bother me?" If it doesn't, just shrug her off by giving her a simple answer. (for example - she asks "where in the hell were you?" You answer "I was out - why are you yelling? You're hurting my ears") If it does bother you, you need to be more firm with her (example -
"Who was she?" You answer "She was a friend... stop being jealous. It's not becoming of you"

A man of value does not worry that he will lose a girl, a girl worries that she will lose a man of value. Stop acting like a girl owns you, and stop trying to do things in order to NOT lose a girl. I constantly see questions from guys that are so afraid their girl is going to leave them if they do something wrong that they have to get posters on this board to approve their every move before they make it. This shows right away that they are still thinking of the girl as the prize.

Stop trying to appease girls. Start expecting them to appease you.

2) Looks do not make a girl valuable.

There are many girls who are very good looking, but still annoying, loud, dirty mouthed alcoholic sluts that will go home with you the first night and realistically have nothing of value to contribute to your life.

As a man who can easily seduce good looking girls, but also has standards, you would like nothing more than to weed these girls out. This means that you must find a way to identify these girls, and then develop a way to screen against this type. The technique that develops as a result of this mindset is called "qualifying". However, until you understand the spirit of this technique, it will never be successful. You cannot qualify a girl if you have nothing to qualify her on.

Attractive girls really are a dime a dozen. The sooner you realize this, the better off you will be. Neg-hits, openers, and the whole bag of PUA tricks are just products of this mindset. You wouldn't engage a group of overweight, middle-aged bald guys by walking up and saying "You guys are so HOT!" so don't do it to a group of girls either. Hot means nothing. Are they sluts? Do they have IQs above 80? Are they interested in even a single thing that you are? These are the questions that should be going through your head before you approach. When you've truly stopped worshipping superficial beauty, you won't need any techniques for a girl to see this mindset. You will neg her accidentally, you will freeze out at the right times because you are genuinely bored with her, and you will not be nervous when approaching a hot girl because you know that looks mean nothing.

Especially if you want to argue that 'looks mean nothing'. You can't claim that 'looks mean nothing' if that's all you consider when evaluating girls and whether or not they're worth your time. Don't be shallow and expect girls not to be.

Free yourself! Stop valuing superficial beauty.

3) Gauge Interest Through Actions (Stop Looking for "Indicators of Interest")

Women are very complex creatures. They are masters of communication, yet they seem to be unaware of the fact that they send more mixed signals than any man can hope make sense of. Signals are, at best, unreliable, and at worst intentionally deceptive. Sometimes a girl who seems completely uninterested really is just waiting for you to make a move (shy girl), and sometimes she sends a hundred and one 'signals' when she's not interested at all (attention wh0re - common these days).

The best test of whether a girl likes you involves proposing any activity that requires her interest for her to agree with. She might flirt with you, give you the 'bedroom eyes', laugh at your stupid jokes, etc. but if she still says no when you invite her to 'hang out', go to dinner, go hiking, etc. then she is showing low interest. Once you decide you are interested in a girl, and you start inviting her places, you'll know really fast if she's worth your time based on her responses. If she's always busy when you have time to go out, she pulls her hand away when you try to hold it, she dodges a kiss, or she acts in ways that show that she's willing to risk losing you - she's not interested!

If you lack the balls to make a move, then you lack what it takes anyway, so there's no point in checking for signs of interest. Either be willing to put yourself on the line by making a move or don't bother worrying about whether or not she likes you because it won't matter if you do nothing.
 

BrotherAP

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4) If you're worried that you might lose her - you've already lost!

That's right. We laugh at the questions about "How to respond", "Does she like me?", "What does it mean if...", "What to do next", "Dealing with tests" etc. because we understand this basic fact - if you are worried that she will leave if you do this or that, then you are already placing value on her and not yourself and, although we might help you through this insignificant ordeal, you will already be messing up 100 times every day that you interact with her by unintentionally showing her that you hold her on a pedestal and are afraid of her leaving.

Some simple examples of ways that you show a girl that you place her on a pedestal include (but are not limited to):

-Apologizing for something you did on purpose
-Asking her for her approval anytime
-Reacting to her anger by acting different
-Getting nervous when she asks certain questions
-Not getting angry when she does something wrong
-Saying things like "Don't be mad at me"
-Not walking away when she does something wrong

You see, if you truly believed that you were the prize then you would show that with every action. When she walks in and says "Who is Julie? I saw that she called you" instead of going into damage control mode and telling her "I swear I didn't cheat with Julie! You're the only one for me! Please don't dump me!" you should be responding by saying "What the hell do you know about Julie? Look, if I was seeing somebody else I'd tell you - seriously, you need to stop getting all uptight about what I'm doing. I can't deal with girls who are too jealous" (or, alternatively, if you are seeing other girls and you have told her this "Look - I told you at the beginning not to assume we're exclusive unless I tell you we are. I really like you, but right now I'm playing the field a bit, and I need to know that your ok with that." Or, on the rare occasion you decide to consider going exclusive "Look - I told you before we're not exclusive, but if you want me to consider that, you need to say something") In other words, you have to act in a way that makes her know that you only tolerate so much. This is the essence of respect. A girl will only do as much as she believes she is able to get away with. Most horrible girlfriends only act the way they do because they know that guys will put up with them.

So stop putting up with them!

5) Don't be bitter

Most of the BAD advice on this board stems from bitterness. Whether it's one man who is bitter from girls in the past who have treated him as just a friend, bitter from a guy who has had girlfriends but they cheated on him, or bitter from a guy who is so frustrated by feminism that he has become the male equivalent, bitterness in any way does not help you.

I don't mind calling a girl 5 times before she comes out and hangs with me. Usually I wont call that much, but on a rare occasion there really is a communication error that can be overcome by persistence. For some of you, I am aware that you have been blown off so many times that you think that all girls will eventually flake on you. What you don't realize is that this exact attitude is what is giving you the most trouble with girls. Yes, sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between a girl who is genuinely interested yet hard to get ahold of and a girl who is just playing games, but your fear of getting played makes you jump to the conclusion that a girl is playing games so often that you mess up with girls where you genuinely had a chance.

Before you decide to "NEXT" a girl, first stop and ask yourself - are you NEXTing her because you really think that there is no chance that she'll go out with you, or are you doing it out of revenge, thinking "This will show her not to respect my time..." Because if you are thinking the second thing, you are trying to hard to protect your 'feelings' when really it's unnecessary if you already value yourself.

See, premature NEXTing of a girl is just another manifestation of low confidence, since you are really doing it only to protect your ego. I may not be willing to call a girl too much to get her to hang out, but that's only because I have better things to do with my time. I understand LOGICALLY that if she flaked the last few times I invited her to do something, that she is most likely going to flake again. Emotionally, I can handle her turning me down 100 times in a row without feeling none the worse, but logically I wont waste my time asking her out 100 times.

And even though I can be one persistent bastard, I still realize that a girl who is interested will never make it that hard to get her out on a date. Remember, the more she likes you, the easier it will be to get her out on a date. I'm also aware that sometimes it's not until after that first date that she becomes truly interested.

In any case, getting girls out on dates is never too much effort because when you genuinely give up, you'll see girls that are used to guys chasing them get frustrated about you not playing that game and start chasing you. Every girl will initially put up some amount of resistance - it's when you plow through this initial shyt test that her interest level really comes to light. If after one or two times of hanging out she's still hard to talk into a date, she's being too much of a pain in the ass and you might as well stop calling her. And, don't worry, if you're mistaken about her low interest level, she'll call you and set you straight. If she never calls, you were right. She wasn't worth your time anyway.

6) What you do means nothing. What you think is everything

Ever wonder to yourself "Is this or that more alpha?", "Do girls like this thing or that thing more?", "When approaching girls should I say this or that" or "How should I respond to this" ? Your problem most likely lies in a basic misunderstanding that you have that makes you think that you can deal iwth a girl by checking each individual move you make and hoping that you don't make any mistakes. In reality, you need to understand the mindsets that I have been trying to illustrate for the entirety of the post and your reactions will naturally be congruent with what is "best" for the situation. You see, there a thousand and one ways to approach a girl - but they'll all FAIL if you do not do so confidently, knowing that you are "the prize" and that you will still be happy whether she rejects you or goes home with you that night. You can approach a girl with a rose, and the first words out of your mouth can be a compliment, and you'll still do 99% better than a guy who approaches a girl armed with a plethora of seduction material who is still just a nervous wreck who worships women. Unless your entire presence is congruent with the confidence you claim to posses, no amount of C&F, qualifying, Neg-hits, or DHV techniques will improve your success.

Try to understand everything that I have said in this post - if you do not understand it, reply to this and tell me what it is that you don't understand and I will do my best to explain it more thuroughly. If you do understand, but at the same time have trouble truly believing it, once again reply by saying so and I will try to help you through.


BrotherAP :D
 

\O/

Master Don Juan
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Superb thread..!

Love your posts man...

Just one thing; Even though you should be able to determine her interest level by her actions, it can't be anything wrong with looking for other IOI's can there? After I've been looking for the IOI's posted on this site I have been alot more successful when it comes to kiss-closes. I hardly ever meet resistence 'cause I wait until I have recognized and tested her for 3-4 IOI's before going for it.
It might be that I just feel alot more confident because i've recieved the indicators, that my fear of moving in on her diminishes due to the fact that I expect success. Or it might be that getting the IOI's makes me go for it when i normally wouldn't. I love testing for it atleast. It has improved my Kino-escalation process alot! Does that make sense?
 

bossdog

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Originally posted by BrotherAP

3) Gauge Interest Through Actions (Stop Looking for "Indicators of Interest")

Women are very complex creatures. They are masters of communication, yet they seem to be unaware of the fact that they send more mixed signals than any man can hope make sense of. Signals are, at best, unreliable, and at worst intentionally deceptive. Sometimes a girl who seems completely uninterested really is just waiting for you to make a move (shy girl), and sometimes she sends a hundred and one 'signals' when she's not interested at all (attention wh0re - common these days).

The best test of whether a girl likes you involves proposing any activity that requires her interest for her to agree with. She might flirt with you, give you the 'bedroom eyes', laugh at your stupid jokes, etc. but if she still says no when you invite her to 'hang out', go to dinner, go hiking, etc. then she is showing low interest. Once you decide you are interested in a girl, and you start inviting her places, you'll know really fast if she's worth your time based on her responses. If she's always busy when you have time to go out, she pulls her hand away when you try to hold it, she dodges a kiss, or she acts in ways that show that she's willing to risk losing you - she's not interested!

If you lack the balls to make a move, then you lack what it takes anyway, so there's no point in checking for signs of interest. Either be willing to put yourself on the line by making a move or don't bother worrying about whether or not she likes you because it won't matter if you do nothing. [/B]
you were on point untill here. if u wanna know y pm me otherwiseim not gonna waste my time typing up a wholebuncha **** ur gonna just flame me for. peace
 

I_Only_Live_Once

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Terrific post. It's spot on.

Adieu
 

mobius

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This guy has earned his "Master Don Juan" status. Great post.
 

bossdog

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well first of all you have to understand that girls send out signals to dudes they are attracted to. Period. Keep in mind everything im about to post relates to the time period before your initial conversation.

most of the time if a girl seems uninterested. she is. duh. Im not saying you cant get with her or anything. im just saying if she notices you and is not sending you signals she is not that interested.

The point is how much time do you really have to spend on girls who werent that interested at first. Of course you can still approach and all that but in general you are now risking rejection. She is now the prize which directly contradicts your number 1.

By approaching girls who are sending you signals. You will almost never get rejected.

Why build a bridge when there's one already built. Because i dont have the balls? :confused:


If a girl is looking at you like this its safe to say you can hit that lol. can u see how much easier it would be to approach this girl than this girl:


Now all you have to do is research signals that girls send. Thats a whole nother post. If the girl you want is not sending you signals there are other ways, but thats a whole nother level. But if this happens repeatedly you need to change something about yourself in order to attract them


Check out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirting
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexual_behavior
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_attraction
http://www.acmelove.com/flirting/

As far as the second paragraph of your post it sounds like u messed up earlier and approached without getting signals(before your game is to that level). she is just being nice and keeping you around for the extra attention. This happens to most guys who approach wrong or have no game, and eventually they get the "let's just be friends" Although it is possble to recover, its a waste of time.
 
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Distant Light

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...:(

Just another inner game post. We need more posts on actually getting the girl not self improvement.

IOIs are actually great things to look for like the other poster said he uses IOIs looks for atleast 3-4 and usually gets the kiss.

For the guy who posted all those links i'm going to read those articles because i'm a pretty open minded person trying to look through the good and the bad that way i can recommend it to people.
 
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