Still have Approach Anxiety

[Wiesman44]

Been on this forum for a long time, and I still struggle with approach anxiety. I feel my game is getting better and better, but I can't seem to get over the anxiety from approaching.


I've been told that it is all a matter of self-confidence. I'm not looking for advice, just here ranting I guess.

Sometimes I give my buddies money when I'm out at the bars, and ask them not to give it back unless I approach a certain amount of girls. I'm a big sports better, so I guess monetary incentive is needed for me.

It just angers me that I'm still, not yet, the type of person that approaches girls w/o thinking about it, like it comes naturally. Its all a mindset I suppose.


I have developed my game quite nicely in the past year or two, yet I still feel like I don't have the conversational skills mastered. This i suppose, is a reason for my approach anxiety.

I've ****ed 8 hb7's or better in 2006 alone, but I feel that I didn't game them as much as I impressed them with looks / muscles.


Long road to be a PUA. Guess my motivation and determination just aren't up to par just yet.

 

[everywomanshero]

Approach anxiety isn't supposed to go away. You are only supposed to manage it. If you don't approach, then not much will likely change. Even if you get into a LTR somehow, you will still be hounded by the guilt of not approaching and the wonder of "what if...".

This is so important, that I would actually consider Cognitive Behavior Therapy or medicine if I felt I just couldn't do it, but it probably won't come to that. If anyone negative is around you or making you more uncomfortable, get rid of them... chances are they are jealous that you're breaking free of the stranglehold learned fear has put on you. Wingmen can help if they just don't do much of anything but provide support in the beginning. If they cut in on your sets instead of helping with in them, if they try to critique you on the spot, then they are just getting in your way and messing up your chances for some early success. Get rid of anyone who does this, chances are they are very insecure and won't get any better with time.

 

[JMillion]

This might just be true for me, but: Before the approach, you may have some nerves, but no matter what after the approach, when you walk away, you will be happy you did it. Even if you get rejected, there is still a feeling of self-satisfaction just for having balls.

 

[realsmoothie]

Do you guys really think that there will always be approach anxiety?

I don't see why. Not that I can actually approach, but I would assume that after a while the fear of actually going up to women would go away if you did it enough.

It just makes sense. Isn't it like that with all other fears?

Was watching the sadly-departed Steve Irwin (croc guy) yesterday, they asked him if he feels fear, and I think he said there's fear but it's buried so far back in his brain he can't feel it.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Things is you can have to either control you're sexual desires or let them fly.From my experience it depends on the woman.

Most woman do like men to be aggresive despite what they say...

 

[Freddy1]

Been on this forum for a long time, and I still struggle with approach anxiety. I feel my game is getting better and better, but I can't seem to get over the anxiety from approaching.


I've been told that it is all a matter of self-confidence. I'm not looking for advice, just here ranting I guess.

Sometimes I give my buddies money when I'm out at the bars, and ask them not to give it back unless I approach a certain amount of girls. I'm a big sports better, so I guess monetary incentive is needed for me.

It just angers me that I'm still, not yet, the type of person that approaches girls w/o thinking about it, like it comes naturally. Its all a mindset I suppose.


I have developed my game quite nicely in the past year or two, yet I still feel like I don't have the conversational skills mastered. This i suppose, is a reason for my approach anxiety.

I've ****ed 8 hb7's or better in 2006 alone, but I feel that I didn't game them as much as I impressed them with looks / muscles.


Long road to be a PUA. Guess my motivation and determination just aren't up to par just yet.

Maybe you are biting too much at once. Thats why you continue to feel too anxious. Just take smaller bites. (little steps until each level feels comfortible enough).
Check out some stuff on cognitive therapy. If that helps dude.

 

[everywomanshero]

Yes, I really believe approach anxiety never permantely goes away. It goes away for periods of time though, and when you're in alpha state.

Examples:
When I am really pumped up and feeling great, zero approach anxiety

When I worked sales jobs and greeted people all day long, zero approach anxiety.

After not working in sales and taking some time off, minor approach anxiety. I don't think it ever gets back to the peak period (which for me was about 5 months after I started sarging, my wingmen couldn't tell but I went through a period where on the 3rd night or so of sarging in a row I'd get AA, then I'd take a couple days off and be back to basically no approach anxiety). It gets better, and goes away completetly at times, but for me it can still be cocasional background noise.

Thinking "I'll kill approach anxiety" is wrong way to think about problem. It is state management, not to fixate on anxeity. Think how can I get into alpha state, not how can I avoid anxiety. Scream in a mirror, run around your car, surround yourself with buddies to laugh and carry on with, these things will do more good than thinking " I wont feel anxiety".. because in the latter you are already setting yourself up to enter the negative state. Think win, not avoid loss.

 

[Wiesman44]

I'm starting a new sales job as a personal banker in late september. Maybe this will kill it. Lets hope so

 

[everywomanshero]

Sales Job will make a big difference. Your timing and ability to read people will improve. I'd rather (some point in the future) you had to go out and actively approach random people, such as selling from a kiosk or approaching people as a recruiter (I've done both). However, this is an excellent start.
Forced Daily interactions will help within a month, I am 100% confident.

 

[MacDiddy]

your need to satisfy you kok will make you overcome your approach anxiety...

so far that need just isn't strong enough... you might have a chemical imbalance, but seeing that you could post this weakness of yours here, I guess your on your way out...