Seeing a girl with a boyfriend. tell her I have a date?

[iliketennis]

Chick is living with her boyfriend. he's taking a job in another state in 2 months. She doesn't want to move with him. I think she would have broken up with him by now if they didn't have a lease together. We've been hanging out for the past week and a half and have slept together once. She says what we have together is "real".

Sounds like she's really on the fence and doesn't know what she wants. I really like her and she says she really likes me too...

Anyway last night I get a message from this really cute blonde that I met about a month ago.. we're gonna go get some drinks this weekend. Do I tell the girl I'm really interested in that i have a date? Part of me wants to let her know I'm not going to wait around forever, and this seems like a good way to do it. Or does it make me sound desperate?

 

[Joe Stud]

"accidentally" (on purpose) text the one you like, saying something like "I just got your voicemail, and YES, we are still on for drinks sat nite. I will call you during the day"

Then when she responds, dont text back for a couple of hours. then... say "oopps, wrong person. I must need glasses!"

When she asks, say that you see the cute blond occasionally, and it's not really serious. watch the fireworks LOL

 

[iliketennis]

i think that might be a little obvious

 

[Anthem]

Only tell her if she asks and don't act like it's a big deal or anything. Women are smart and know when you are trying to make them jealous. You don't want to start a jealousy war with her, trust me. It can get ugly. Girls don't fight fair.

 

[thedude4242]

dont let either one know about each other. neither one of these girls have to know about this. go out with the cute blonde and have fun like you are single (which you are). who knows what this other girl who has a boyfriend is going to do. you dont know if you guys are going to be together. dont let opportunities pass you bye with a single woman. this girl who you have feelings for has a boyfriend and goes home to him and has sex with him. she is getting her cake and eating it too and so should you. she can have sex with her boyfriend when you are not around so go out with other girls. see them both until a REAL commitment is brought up.

 

[Igetit!]

Chick is living with her boyfriend. he's taking a job in another state in 2 months. She doesn't want to move with him. I think she would have broken up with him by now if they didn't have a lease together. We've been hanging out for the past week and a half and have slept together once. She says what we have together is "real".

She says what you two have is "real"?

What movie did she get that from?


Let's see how "real" it is once you two enter into a relationship,the "honeymoon" phase is over,and the inevitable male/female problems start showing up.

Sounds like she's really on the fence and doesn't know what she wants.

Well this is interesting. She says what you two have is real,but yet,she's "on the fence".

Doesn't know what she wants,huh?

Do you know for sure that she would have broken up with her boyfriend if they weren't on the lease together,or is that just what you think?

Anyway last night I get a message from this really cute blonde that I met about a month ago.. we're gonna go get some drinks this weekend. Do I tell the girl I'm really interested in that i have a date? Part of me wants to let her know I'm not going to wait around forever, and this seems like a good way to do it. Or does it make me sound desperate?

I wouldn't tell her. It's none of her business.

I'd simply let her find out on her own.


She has her own seperate life,and you have yours. The only connection you two have is sex from time to time. She not any farther involved in your life than that,nor you hers...and the fact that you two "like each other" means nothing.



You may like each other,but right now she has unfinished business with this other guy.

I agree with you. I wouldn't stay alone,checking with her from time to time to see if she's broken it off with her boyfriend or not.



If there's another girl available who I like,who's free to date,I'm going for her.



This chick with the boyfriend could drag this thing on for months...even longer.

 

[Joe Stud]

obvious or not, make her jealous. and let her know you arent waiting around for her

 

[Joe Stud]

obvious or not, make her jealous. and let her know you arent waiting around for her

 

[drak_ool]

Joe Stud's idea= create too much unnecessary drama. It also looks too fake. But if you re bored and need some free entertainment, then go ahead and do it! But in general I like to keep plates in the dark about each other, having more than one girl can become a pain even without the extra drama.

A more general point: can you see all the red flags with this girl?

1. she s a typical branch swinger. What she s doing to her boyfriend now, she ll do to you as well without even blinking.

2. she s manipulative (the "what we have is real line" contradicted by her still living with her bf)

3. she s easy. I mean come on, she has a boyfriend, you ve been hanging out for only 10 days and she already gave it up?

4. she s a cheater. This one s pretty obvious but you don t seem to have put too much thinking into it.

My point: i would not have a problem hooking up with this girl, but i would never consider her girlfriend material. And I would definitely not wait around for her, wasting other opportunities.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

The only person you need to make aware and convice that you have a date with another girl is YOU. Because that will re-inforce to yourself that you have options and are not stuck with this one chick who's already taken.

No need to tell either of the two. They will know you have options just by the fact that you don't try to spend all of your time with them and don't act like they are the only game in town.

I suggest you go hit up a third and fourth girls and start behaving like the prized commodity in this situation. Don't leave your happiness in the hands of the plans of these or any other broads.

 

[iliketennis]

great advice. i actually feel more confident after reading this thread

screw these girls, i am the ****in man

 

[Joe Stud]

<Sounds like she's really on the fence and doesn't know what she wants.>
I really like her and she says she really likes me too...

Do I tell the girl I'm really interested in that i have a date? <Part of me wants to let her know I'm not going to wait around forever, and this seems like a good way to do it.> Or does it make me sound desperate?

I READ YOUR POST, FELT YOUR SITUATION, AND RESPONDED DIRECTLY TO YOUR QUESTION. YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS CHICK (really interested in) GET OFF THE FENCE, AND LET HER KNOW YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WAIT AROUND FOREVER RIGHT? YOUR AIM IS TO GET THIS CHICK TO CHIT, OR GET OFF THE POT. RIGHT? WELL THEN YES, I STAND BY MY ADVICE. SOCIAL VALUE.

AND IF SHE THINKS ITS OBVIOUS YOU DID THE ACCIDENTAL TEXT, SHE CAN COME WATCH YOU & CUTE BLONDIE IN ACTION AT THE BAR.

 

[WC2]

I READ YOUR POST, FELT YOUR SITUATION, AND RESPONDED DIRECTLY TO YOUR QUESTION. YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS CHICK (really interested in) GET OFF THE FENCE, AND LET HER KNOW YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WAIT AROUND FOREVER RIGHT? YOUR AIM IS TO GET THIS CHICK TO CHIT, OR GET OFF THE POT. RIGHT? WELL THEN YES, I STAND BY MY ADVICE. SOCIAL VALUE.

AND IF SHE THINKS ITS OBVIOUS YOU DID THE ACCIDENTAL TEXT, SHE CAN COME WATCH YOU & CUTE BLONDIE IN ACTION AT THE BAR.

Ultimatums and women never work.

Playing emotional games with women may work in the short term, but will come to bite you in the ass later on. Trust me.

One chick has a boyfriend. She's off limits as far as emotions are concerned.. get your emotions suckered in to this chick and she'll suck all your man-juice out. It'll probably take you awhile to recover. Not worth it.

As long as you can keep your emotions out of it, there's nothing wrong with seeing this chick with a boyfriend on an occasional basis with the knowledge that it's just fun & sex.

And yes you are single; you should be out dating whoever you can and meeting new potential women who MAY be suitable for a relationship.

 

[Joe Stud]

Ultimatums or sending a message that he's valued by other hb's? Oh sure, never play emotional games with a woman who has you waiting while she is "on the fence" with another guy. it backfires. just appeal to her sense of reasonable logic, i'm sure she will work things out with him. LOL get real will ya?
the man asked how to get her off the fence, and whether or not to let her see he has other women seeking him. I said yes, let her see. I bet if she sees he is sought after by hotter women, suddenly she will see him as a prize. it happens all the time. social value.
the OP didnt ask if the chick is "off limits", so just answer what he asked. less moral sermons & more succint responses.

 

[WC2]

Ultimatums or sending a message that he's valued by other hb's? Oh sure, never play emotional games with a woman who has you waiting while she is "on the fence" with another guy. it backfires. just appeal to her sense of reasonable logic, i'm sure she will work things out with him. LOL get real will ya?
the man asked how to get her off the fence, and whether or not to let her see he has other women seeking him. I said yes, let her see. I bet if she sees he is sought after by hotter women, suddenly she will see him as a prize. it happens all the time. social value.
the OP didnt ask if the chick is "off limits", so just answer what he asked. less moral sermons & more succint responses.

Ha look brother.. what you're suggesting is that he plays emotional games with a woman who already HAS a boyfriend in order to make her jealous and start dating him.

There's 2 things wrong here that not only I, but any other guy who's been in a relationship with a woman can tell you :

A ) She has a boyfriend. Why does he want to make a chick jealous who has a boyfriend? She's not dating material. She's f*cking material, leave it at that. No reason to tell her you're dating other women; it's NONE of her business.

B ) Ultimatums and games NEVER work. If you don't know this, then you obviously don't know how women work in relationships. By telling her he's going on a date with another woman, YES he is giving her an ultimatum :

Either 1 ) Take me before I go on this date or 2 ) Watch me go on this date and get jealous.

It's stupid and for the most part if you do this to a woman she'll just turn her back and tell you to take the date. A woman who is on the 'fence' is on for a reason. By giving her an ultimatum all you're going to do is push her off. But WAIT???

WHY WOULD HE WANT TO EVEN DATE A WOMAN WHO HAS A BOYFRIEND???? Geez..

You don't have to be logical with these women, you just DON'T have to be a little girl and TRY to make others jealous. This is what little kids did in high school. You do this in the real world and you'll get a quick slap to the face.

I can't believe I'm even responding to such a ridiculous response.. these are the mistakes I see guys make who have NO idea what they're doing.

 

[iliketennis]

well, she broke up with him. she says they hadn't been romantic in weeks... she's still living in the same apt though, dunno how this is gonna work.

 

[Joe Stud]

I believe there are exceptions to rules. A chick who cheats will probably do it again, but there are exceptions. These type of women aren't "throw aways" that no man should ever again, go near. They could still find the right guy & it can work.