The e-mail from the single Toronto guy was quite specific. It said he and his friends are friendly, attractive, intelligent, cultured (not wussy) who have no problem talking to women but are hard pressed to find women over 30 who aren't married, partnered or bitter.
I replied saying I didn't feel at all sorry for him and his pals as this city is packed to the rafters with 30-plus single, professional women who are attractive, intelligent, cultured and looking for such guys.
In fact, almost everyone I talk to says they know at least two or three such desirable women who in turn complain they seem unable to connect with any attractive etc. single guys.
And they have an excuse. It's said that in T.O. there are two single women for every single man.
But what gives? Why are 30-year-olds not connecting?
The bars and restaurants are full, the clubs have lineups, singles events are usually sold out, speeddating, lock and key parties are popular, and the dating websites are overflowing.
Claudio, 38, wrote to say he has a few answers. He says he and his friends are in their mid/late-30s and a major drawback is that they are "too old for bars and too young for the singles dances. We've found at such events that most single women in their 30s have just been through or are going through a divorce so are still bitter. That bitterness shows up when it's assumed we're divorced too. When we admit we've never been married, we are looked at like something is wrong with us.
"At other events that supposedly cater to a more upscale crowd, we've been blatantly asked what our support payments were! This was a big turn-off for us.
"The other issue is single moms. Several times we've been given the feeling that we would make a nice daddy for the kids but the moms weren't really interested in us."
BITTER, TOO MERCENARY
But before you 30-year-old gals jump angrily to the computer to respond, Marco ends his e-mail by saying: "I will openly admit my circle of friends have our issues and that we are working to overcome them. If some of the women we met would do the same, I feel things would be nicer for all of us."
So are single 30-year-old Toronto women bitter and too mercenary?
Robin, 32, an attractive publicist, says she's given up on Toronto as a source for dates and has turned to European travel instead.
"I met lots of great guys over there on my trip," she says. "I've never had so many boyfriends!"
She says she thinks a lot of Toronto men are, in fact, more bitter than the women and they appear to be afraid of any woman who is successful and independent.
Mena, 37, an attractive entertainment television producer, agrees.
"Guys maybe look at us wondering what they can offer that we don't already have, so they're intimidated. They also think every single woman over 30 wants to get married, so they feel pressured."
But when pressed further, Mena says she doesn't really know why it's so difficult in Toronto for 30-plus singles to connect.
"If you find an answer, let me know!"
So I'm asking readers.
Send me an e-mail with your ideas as to why Toronto is such a difficult city for singles, especially those 30-plus, to connect.
