PUA Contradictions

[Domo_Arigatoo]

I've read roughly 80% of the material on here giving advice to aspiring DJ's and i've noticed a trend in contradiction. This is kind of confusing because i'll invest myself in the advice given here... I'll base my entire approach on something i've learned and then a week or two later there will be a post contradicting what i've learned. It kind of shakes me up mentally, it makes me doubt the truth of some of the stuff on this website. Of course i know it works, but certain things seem to be just someone bull****ting to get attention, and other people who know little to nothing agreeing with them because it sounds appealing, and also it gives themself attention as well.
Also i think this may be because people tend to generalize the info they give to people, leaving you to pick out the things that don't contradict and follow what really stays true

Some contradictions:
- If a ***** disrespects you, delete her number and don't bother with her ever again
- Never burn your bridges!

- You have to compliment the girl to let her know you're interested! otherwise she won't know your intentions and just view you as a friend!
- Don't compliment the girl, this immediately shows your intentions and she's supposed to be unaware and guessing of your intentions

-Get out there and practice on as many girls as you can, this will help you get comfortable with yourself and you'll be able to talk to any girl eventually without fear
-Don't bother with the uglies, only go for 8+ otherwise you're just wasting your valuable time

There's many other contradictions that i've noticed... What i tend to do is pick out the best of each, and weld it into one solid piece of advice, kind of how your eyes view something from two different angles and percieve depth.

Still, it's very frustrating to watch this happen so often on this forum.

 

[luckster]

I agree. You have to take everything with a grain of salt and also know that there's a lot of subjectivity to the situation and it is also based on what you are trying to accomplish. Here is my interpretation.

==================================================

Some contradictions:
- If a ***** disrespects you, delete her number and don't bother with her ever again
- Never burn your bridges!

I believe burning bridges applies to people who you are on good terms with. The point of maintaining contact is to gain "easier" access to her female friends. If this girl is disrespectful towards you, how could you gain access to her friends? She would only speak badly of you to them, no? The meaning behind not burning a bridge is: never get angry/rude in a woman's face, never explode with emotion. Salvage a friendship if you can, but if she hates your guts, move on.

==================================================

- You have to compliment the girl to let her know you're interested! otherwise she won't know your intentions and just view you as a friend!
- Don't compliment the girl, this immediately shows your intentions and she's supposed to be unaware and guessing of your intentions

This is just a very highly-debated topic and it's split into two sides. The view I adapt is this:

Buying dinner or flowers for a girl is supplication. Complimenting a girl is supplication. Telling a girl you like her is supplication -- bullshyt!

I'll tell you this, if you want to buy flowers for a girl, then do so. If you want to pay for the date, then do so. If you want to compliment her, then do so. None of this is supplication! If the girl likes you, she'll like you after you give her flowers or paying for the date. If she doesn't like you, then buying her dinner or flowers will not make her like you any more than before.

Supplication is changing yourself to give the girl the appearance that you are someone you are not, just to get something out of her (this includes her liking you). I'm not saying that you shouldn't change -- because you either change or you die. Instead what I am saying is all this on how to behave to get the chick to like you is junk.

From: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=29081

Nothing wrong with complementing someone, but only do it because you mean it, not to get her to like you.

==================================================

-Get out there and practice on as many girls as you can, this will help you get comfortable with yourself and you'll be able to talk to any girl eventually without fear
-Don't bother with the uglies, only go for 8+ otherwise you're just wasting your valuable time

Again, same as the previous one; split. Some will say 8+ are "different" girls, some will say all girls are the same.

My take on it: if you can't game a girl you don't like, you can't game a girl you do like.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

PUA is different for everyone. Of course different people will have different views. It is up to you to figure out which methods work best for you and the best way to do that is field practice.

 

[thedude4242]

I have been saying all this time (check my posts) that it all contradicts itself. your ethier do too much or not enough. when it comes to women and attraction it is not an exact science. you have to learn the basics and make improvements but I think I have learned about as much as I can because I can read people and figure them all out in no time.

 

[Borknagar]

Most of it is bull****. It never takes into account what women do wrong in an interaction. That and "PUAs" just use marketing tactics, because they know there is a huge market for guys who want to get better with women. So they make bank off selling false hope. Guys may get laid cause of it, but it's their boost in confidence that they falsely think came form attending a boot camp. Boot camps are nothing more than placebo(like a false pill, look it up).

 

[Borknagar]

In fact I got better by experience, I barely read material, and never attended a boot camp. I think 20-23 lays in a year is enough to say I didn't need PUA material. One example is banging a ex-stripper in less than 3 hours.

 

[Tyson420]

I know if I had 20 lays a year I wouldn't be on this site. i don't even get that many with different girls.

Like just how hard is it to force yourself to talk to girls you see everyday at a bus stop. if they think you're a creep then it's whatever.

 

[TheJazz]

To be honest mate, all this PUA stuff is pure bull****. Being a Don Juan's the next step up from being a PUA. It's about being a man. No games, no walking on eggshells. You take what you want.

 

[thedude4242]

Most of it is bull****. It never takes into account what women do wrong in an interaction. That and "PUAs" just use marketing tactics, because they know there is a huge market for guys who want to get better with women. So they make bank off selling false hope. Guys may get laid cause of it, but it's their boost in confidence that they falsely think came form attending a boot camp. Boot camps are nothing more than placebo(like a false pill, look it up).

this is 100% the truth. it really doesnt make you better it just tries to give you the go get them attitude with some rules. a guy who is not good with girls reads PUA stuff and it makes him talk to girls more. you pay for a guy to tell you go and talk to girls.

 

[Jariel]

The problem with this site and many like it is that you get a lot of keyboard jockeys regurgitating information they've read elsewhere.

I've had arguments with people on here where I've explained a situation from first hand experience, and someone has told me "you're wrong because Mystery/DeAngelo says that you should do xyz".

For instance, I like to text women. I find it helps create rapport and build attraction, and can also raise sexual tension and comfort levels. I have success doing this and there have been so many times I've had sex on a first date all because I laid this groundwork. Yet the big PUA rule is that you should never text a girl unless it's to make a date.

Whenever I give advice, I always make sure it comes from personal experience. And the more personal experience I have gained with women, the less credibility I give to PUAs and so-called dating gurus.

 

[Scars]

The best way to learn: Trial and error.

Take bits and pieces from this site but develop your own theories and try them out on the field. I have certain things that I do that some members here might deem as "beta" but it works for me, so I could really give two sh!ts.

There's way too many variables involved. Something that might work for you might not work for somebody else. We all have different ways of doing things. Find out what works for you. Try out different things, and take a mental note of the results. You don't have to take everything here like it's the word of God, keep an open mind.

-Scars

 

[jammy1257]

The best way to learn: Trial and error.

Take bits and pieces from this site but develop your own theories and try them out on the field. I have certain things that I do that some members here might deem as "beta" but it works for me, so I could really give two sh!ts.

There's way too many variables involved. Something that might work for you might not work for somebody else. We all have different ways of doing things. Find out what works for you. Try out different things, and take a mental note of the results. You don't have to take everything here like it's the word of God, keep an open mind.

-Scars

Pretty much this, women are unpredictable like the rest of us guys here. There is never just a set of rules or protocol to follow to lead to success. I find that being myself always seems to get me positive results, don't go out of your way to be nice and don't be clingy, have your own life and cater to your own needs before anyone else's.

I learned this the hard way with Indications of Interest, as a young person growing up I always thought every girl I came across liked because they "GAVE" me eye contact but I was so very wrong and paid the price but it was a learning experience and now I know.

 

[thedude4242]

mystery and david and others are all gimmicks to make money and stroke their ego. hopeless guys buy their stuff and think "MAN THAT DUDE IS SO COOL" and ride his jock because they want to be what PUA's pretend to be.

where I go clubbin mystery could not get laid. maybe now because he is famous.

you ever see that PUA's always show the interaction and getting a phone number and to them that is success. that is just the start. I can get any girls number I want to. I only been told no one time ever.

I know one thing is that you guys from the forum come out with me sometimes and see how well I do with that. If I recorded every interaction I had with women and show geting their phone number I could make more than any PUA because that would sell to anyone you cant get women.

 

[Jariel]

you ever see that PUA's always show the interaction and getting a phone number and to them that is success. that is just the start. I can get any girls number I want to. I only been told no one time ever.

I know one thing is that you guys from the forum come out with me sometimes and see how well I do with that. If I recorded every interaction I had with women and show geting their phone number I could make more than any PUA because that would sell to anyone you cant get women.

I totally agree mate and I've noticed the exact same thing. For a start, these PUAs are very persistant and I can see how a girl might give them a fake number just to get rid of them. Plus, like you say, a number is not a success. I've picked up more numbers than I can remember and had the girls ignore me, reject me or flake out. To me that is a failure, but a PUA would tally it up as a success.

Another big flaw with the PUA method is that it's all so fake, so if you ever get to the point of dating one of these women you will probably find yourself falling apart or making a fool of yourself.

Once again, I speak from personal experience. I have personally field tested many PUA techniques from DeAngelo to Mystery to Neil Strauss and have even tried Ross Jeffries' Speed Seduction, which were among the most embarrassing experiences I've ever had with women.

 

[thedude4242]

I will be out and other men and women will stare at me or admire what I am doing. then a dude will say something like "did you finalize it" "your fvcking her tonight" "she wants you" "where are you taking her" so everyone also thinks the girls want be a lot. they give little and big signs someone only gives when they really like someone.

I could be with a girl that has a guy friend she is with. she will come and show so much interest and when she leaves the guy friend will say I wouldnt hit that in a jealous way.

people will tell you, you must not be as good as you think. when it is the exact opposite and try to tell you what you are doing wrong.

I can go to any bar or club and do better than most men. there must be something when girls talk to me because a lot of people notice. I get more interactions from girls I do not know and from girls who approach me.

 

[The_411]

Think of it like a puzzle with multiple solutions. In this case things appear to be contradictory because you're applying two chopices to one scenario.

With women what works for one may not work for another. What the PUA give are generalized concepts.

To be successful you have to assimilate those concepts test them out and see how you can incorporate them into who you are, how you act, and whom you are trying to attract.

Like most complex things is life there are nuances. The most successful guys with women can pick up on nuances and are able to tailor their games based on the woman they are gaming and the desired outcome.

If you go with one approach it won't work on every woman.

 

[Warrior74]

wait you want people on a forum to all agree? Ha! Good luck with that.

 

[Domo_Arigatoo]

wait you want people on a forum to all agree? Ha! Good luck with that.

You can still disagree on something without it contradicting itself. It's just frustrating especially for people new to the site because they are guillable and believe pretty much everything that is posted. I'm not even gonna lie, when i first came to this forum i treated every word like gold, without even realizing i had to search and sort through all the **** to get some real diamonds.
Most of this shyt is misleading.
I thought there was some golden answer that i was missing out on to get chicks but i realized in the end it's simply about confidence, developing yourself, self-respect, etc.
After learning to not be an AFC, that's really all you can do...

Edit: I made the confidence deveoloping yourself and self respect seem like a hassle, i didn't mean it that way haha. Just saying it was more complicated than i expected.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I've read roughly 80% of the material on here giving advice to aspiring DJ's and i've noticed a trend in contradiction.

You mean you've notice different people having different opinions and disagreeing with each other. Such is the nature of individuality. We don't all think and act the same, otherwise we would be copies of each other.

I'll base my entire approach on something i've learned and then a week or two later there will be a post contradicting what i've learned. It kind of shakes me up mentally, it makes me doubt the truth of some of the stuff on this website.

Well there's your problem. The advice you see here should be something to think about and reflect upon, not something you should base everything upon. If you think it fits in with your personality style and the person you want to be then go ahead and try it out. See how it fits.

Still, it's very frustrating to watch this happen so often on this forum.

Man, you think this place is tough. You should see outside. That place is terrifying.