Psychologist chick is perfect... I ruined it.

[GrimPhallic]

Alright this is just plain fvcked. I have been talkin to this chick since my divorce 4 months now. We can hold a convo for hrs even after texting all day. We have been really close for all 4 months. We talk and have talked about everything and never get tired. Shes in school to get her PHd in Psychology so shes incredibly smart, very attractive prob an hb8 but her mind bumps that up to the max for me. She is seriously the perfect chick for me and maybe that that is clouding my judgement. Shes totally cool around friends etc, she watches football! Shes basically like a chick DJ and I know those chicks are very scary to be in a LTR with. That prob also raises my feelings towards her bc I know I have (or had) her. Shes the type that thinks like a dude but in a smart way. She would never cheat... perfect girl. She was hard to break down guys of course bc of her DJ like skills and her super intelligence, but finally I broke her down like a month ago, and she fell in love with me. Well, I returned the words though I didnt really mean them. Whatever, things were great we were about to call it a relationship, but then she got a stalker from her job as a councelor! This ****er followed her home and broke into her house. So she freaked out completely, quit her job, moved in with her dad, and quit talking to everyone including me! Well this shook me up, I mean Im still having emotional issues from my marriage, so it hurt my ego abit. I text her and she only replies half the time. She doesnt answer my calls... I messed up, I flaked. I shouldve given her space but I couldnt, I kept texting and calling, her still only answering half the time. Well I recently told her it was tearing me up inside and I couldnt do it, and that I would be there for her but Im not gonna try to talk to her anymore, and when she gets over this stuff let me know and we can try again. I also said I wouldnt ignore here if she tries to talk to me. Then today I texted her (we always text way more than talk, it is just easier for us bc we are both really busy people with careers) and told her I worded that wrong last nite and I wanted to clarify, and that I want to be with her and she is being selfish to deny me that. Then reinforced what I said a little meaner lol. I AFCed the sh!t out of this one... just thought some of you would like to hear how bad I fvcked up. What would you guys have done?

 

[slaog]

You didn't handle it great but the problem here is with her. She has a problem with men now after being frightened by that experiance. Not your fault.


It also shows that she isn't a female version of a DJ. A bad thing happened and she fell apart internally. Counsellors are a strange breed it seems. You'd be surprised at the amount of people who have said that on this forum. I also dated a counsellor too and she seemed great at first but soon after I realised she was a nutcase.

 

[HardTimes]

I'd say you handled the situation like shyt but even if you handled it properly she was a nutcase and you would of had to drop her anyway. The end result wouldn't have changed.

 

[Alle_Gory]

It also shows that she isn't a female version of a DJ. A bad thing happened and she fell apart internally. Counsellors are a strange breed it seems. You'd be surprised at the amount of people who have said that on this forum. I also dated a counsellor too and she seemed great at first but soon after I realised she was a nutcase.

I'm in a similar situation. Crazy like....??? How.

 

[abcd_z]

I would bring about an ultimatum:
<snip>

Nooooooo! Ultimatums BAD, in any situation.

Verbalizing emotional problems within the relationship never helps. Ever. That goes double for ultimatums. Ask me how I know.

Instead, what you want to do is this:
Live your own life.

Realize that while yes, she is a very attractive person, she IS NOT PERFECT.

You have put her on a pedestal. This is very unhealthy.
I wouldn't be surprised to hear you say something like "I'll never find anybody else like her again."
This is bullshït.

They all seem like unique flowers, while we're desperately in love with them.
After quite a bit of time and perspective, you'll realize that maybe she wasn't the right one for you.

Anyhow, none of that is here or now. What you need to do right now is go live your life. Don't worry about her. In fact, NEXT her. Don't bother telling her about it, just go out and do your own thing. Delete her number, go out and meet other hot chicks, do whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Watch a movie, work out at the gym, take jazz lessons, whatever would mean living your life through your masculine purpose.

Chances are, she'll try to get back together with you. DO NOT DO THIS. IT'S A TRAP.

See, right now your mindset is one of neediness and insecurity. This is bad.
Living your own life, on your own terms, that is good.
But, you're not used to the mindset of abundance and masculine strength. So as soon as she calls, it's going to throw you into another emotional tailspin, screwing up any chances you may have had. Again, this is bad.

So, just to recap.
NEXT her. Delete her number, don't take any calls from her.
Go do your own thing, live your own life. Meet new chicks. Whatever makes you happy.
When she tries to get back together with you, IGNORE HER. Blow her off. Whatever it takes.

Remember, you're the only person that can take care of your own happiness. Don't sacrifice that for her or anyone else.

 

[slaog]

I'm in a similar situation. Crazy like....??? How.

It was a few years back. I forget the details but all I remember was that she was very sensitive emotionally. I said something which she reacted badly to. I can't remember what I said but I do know it was nothing insulting. I just pointed out something about her I didn't like. She responded with something and I told her she was wrong and explained why. I obviously touched a nerve because she lost her cool and started calling me obnoxious and other names.


So maybe counsellors are emotionally sensitive or have issues and that work then attracts them. Just like people are attracted to this forum because of their AFC past.

 

[prairiedog24]

My father has a Ph.D. in psychology and trains counselors. From meeting some of his students over the years I can tell you that it sure seems to me like a lot of counseling majors are self-medicating by getting their degrees!

 

[Jazzman19]

I am not exaggerating, I got stories of my own and from my friends to back this up. It is as simple as this:

If you are in college and a girl says she is majoring in Psychology...RUN!
If you meet a woman and she says she works as a psychologist, psychiatrist, etc....RUN!

99% of women who major in, work in, or hell dabble in the psychology field are just as fvcked up as the people they are studying/helping.

 

[Jitterbug]

Yup, I've dated a few counsellors & psychology students and they're all seriously messed up!

From meeting some of his students over the years I can tell you that it sure seems to me like a lot of counseling majors are self-medicating by getting their degrees!

This is very true!

 

[PSYCHO]

And you believe her story? Sounds a bit strange to me!

She is full of shyt - and if you are close to her then you will smell like shyt too!!

Don't be a turd!!

 

[Duffdog]

And you believe her story? Sounds a bit strange to me!

She is full of shyt - and if you are close to her then you will smell like shyt too!!

Don't be a turd!!

Yeah...

This sounds more plausible actually. From an outsiders viewpoint, it looks like the chic manufactured a grand story just so that she wouldn't have feel guilty telling you she didn't like you anymore. And, you fell for it. The advise to get another girl is good advise, even if what this chic said was true.

 

[GrimPhallic]

Nooooooo! Ultimatums BAD, in any situation.

Verbalizing emotional problems within the relationship never helps. Ever. That goes double for ultimatums. Ask me how I know.

Instead, what you want to do is this:
Live your own life.

Realize that while yes, she is a very attractive person, she IS NOT PERFECT.

You have put her on a pedestal. This is very unhealthy.
I wouldn't be surprised to hear you say something like "I'll never find anybody else like her again."
This is bullshït.

They all seem like unique flowers, while we're desperately in love with them.
After quite a bit of time and perspective, you'll realize that maybe she wasn't the right one for you.

Anyhow, none of that is here or now. What you need to do right now is go live your life. Don't worry about her. In fact, NEXT her. Don't bother telling her about it, just go out and do your own thing. Delete her number, go out and meet other hot chicks, do whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Watch a movie, work out at the gym, take jazz lessons, whatever would mean living your life through your masculine purpose.

Chances are, she'll try to get back together with you. DO NOT DO THIS. IT'S A TRAP.

See, right now your mindset is one of neediness and insecurity. This is bad.
Living your own life, on your own terms, that is good.
But, you're not used to the mindset of abundance and masculine strength. So as soon as she calls, it's going to throw you into another emotional tailspin, screwing up any chances you may have had. Again, this is bad.

So, just to recap.
NEXT her. Delete her number, don't take any calls from her.
Go do your own thing, live your own life. Meet new chicks. Whatever makes you happy.
When she tries to get back together with you, IGNORE HER. Blow her off. Whatever it takes.

Remember, you're the only person that can take care of your own happiness. Don't sacrifice that for her or anyone else.

I didnt put her on a pedestal, I assure you. I DID place higher value on her than the other chicks Im talkin to though... Oh well, I did explain to her that I have to be first or Im out basically, and we have not talked since. Sometimes its hard, but I NEXTed her. Oh well atleast I let her know Ill be here for her if she needs me, so maybe in the near future we can atleast fvck or something. We had phone sex and I know she wants me, she thinks Im so hot its really funny lol.

But thank you abcd_z, youve reminded me of things I need to make sure I keep up with. If you have read my other posts I am still feeling kind of lost, but things have gotten better for me. Its amazing what going back and reading documentation on this site can do. Im slowly getting back into my dj habits. I need to work on keeping those habits even after I start going out with a chick, that is where I always fvck up.

Austin

 

[GrimPhallic]

And you believe her story? Sounds a bit strange to me!

She is full of shyt - and if you are close to her then you will smell like shyt too!!

Don't be a turd!!

If this is directed towards me PSYCHO, I dunno I mean I do believe her story, she has been really crazy emotionally since this happened and I know she quit her job, I mean I know this girl she isnt working during the week any more... I dunno maybe Ill put her in the friend zone lol, I have done that before to chicks, its always good to have chick friends, I cant tell you how many hookups happen bc of that.

Austin