Yes it's his fault. I don't make a habit of casting blame on others when I am dealing with the consequences that directly result from my actions.
Let's be 100% clear here; if my wife went out and ****ed some dude and then decided she wasn't in love with me anymore and wanted half my ****, while it doesn't excuse her behavior, it's my fault. No one put a gun to my had and made me marry her; it was my decision 100%. I wanted to marry her. You can't go in life taking credit for all the good decisions you make and casting blame for all the negative ones. At the end of the day I want to figure out what I did wrong and the only way I can do that is to first acknowledge that i made a mistake.
With that said, beucase I tie my name to everything I do, I've thoroughly screened my wife; she lived with me for 2 and a half years, and had my son, before i was confident enough in her and my judgement of her to ask her to marry me. I know her enough to know what makes her tick and under the worst circumstances, she'd never do anything that would make her son or her father ashamed of her. lol, she'd have no problem leaving me if i stopped being backbreaker i assure you, she'd have no problem with demanding my **** lol at least some of it though we do have a pre nup, but she'd never do it in a manner that would bring shame on her father, she's a really bad daddy's girl.
I have to sometimes remind myself that I take things for granted. The 4th and 5th step in AA is
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrong
After 7 years of being around AA and being clean and sober, this is my default action whenever something goes wrong with me. I can't afford to blame anyone else for **** i have done or because my life isn't like i wan tit, beucase the day I do, the day i start looking for scapegoats beucase my life isn't the way I want it to be, is the day I've made a deposit on a respell lay-away program. I can't go around blaming a girl for not being a faithful wife when i put a ring on her finger. I can't go around blaming a girl for flaking out on me when i made the decision to pursuer her on the first place.
It doesn't excuse behavior whatsoever and she'll have to nswer for what she does, whoever she is, in some way to someone, but I don't blame others for situtations I put myself in. AT least today I don't.