Over Validation and be more intentional with validation

[nightwalker75]

Earlier today, I attended an event where I believe I exuded alpha male qualities (given my natural charisma). Quickly, I found myself, as always, at the center of attention. I noticed a striking blonde woman sitting beside me, and naturally, we struck up a conversation. I was genuinely curious about her, as she seemed unusually young and attractive for the event. After about 5 to 10 minutes of conversation, other people approached me, and I became engrossed in their conversations. However, I noticed she kept watching me the whole time, and finally, when everyone left, she returned to initiate a conversation.
In the past, I might have interpreted this as a sign of her attraction towards me. BUT TODAY, I FINALLY REALIZED that she wasn't necessarily interested in me, but rather, I was over-validating her, and she returned seeking that attention. This realization struck me particularly because I later noticed she was wearing an engagement ring.
My question is: How can I be more intentional about my validation towards women, and are there any books you recommend on this topic?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I noticed a striking blonde woman sitting beside me, and naturally, we struck up a conversation. I was genuinely curious about her, as she seemed unusually young and attractive for the event.

You were too impressed with her and that shone through. Subconsciously you considered her 'high status' and you started qualifying for her.

I think you need to learn to mute your charming vibe and to keep things light so she becomes genuinely curious about you, so she'll start qualifying for you.