Need To Make Changes - Suggestions Welcome

[tincanman99]

First off let me say I have been reading the articles and forums here for a number of years and come to the realization that they are pretty much on the money in regards to women and life in general many times.

I am going to openly say I have been AFC/Beta my whole life. It was hard for me to admit it to myself but its true. From the time time I was like 5 I always remember being hyper shy, no self confidence. Not sure why, I just was.

Anyway this has f*cked up my life in more ways than most can ever imagine. When I was in high school and college I didnt really date because I was stupidly shy and I had a double major in business and electrical engineering. No women, no dating, no anything.

I had a womanizing friend who was a natural PUA. He would pick up women in the street in NYC. He was that good. He had a rap on him and he tried to teach me when we were young (like 19) but I was always just too shy. He would be like - you over think it to much. Just talk, who cares what they think. I remember he would walk up to women on the street and tell them they had a great as*. Instead of getting slapped they would give him their number and than he would be banging them. At one point he was banging like 5 women simultaniously including his primary girlfriend who looked like she stepped out of Playboy.

Regardless I ended up in a high tech company
surrounded by briliant but totally AFC guys. This I can say - all of these guys have married pretty much the first woman that came along. None really dated anyone. Maybe 1 woman before their wife. Their lives pretty much suck today.

I have had several jobs that helped me get out of my shell including being the assistant of a VP who literally forced me in front of people though I was terrified. I had another one spent negotiating technology contracts so I was forced to talk to strangers all day long every single day.

Today the shyness is pretty much only reserved in social situations where I like a woman. Like picking up a woman in a bar - good luck with that. You might as well hit me with 2x4. Today when I tell people I used to be hyper shy they dont believe me. My boss on my recent evaluation said I have superior written and oral communication skills.

In the last 1.5 years I have made changes - lost the 40lbs I had put on by hiring a smoking hot woman trainer who literally beat the hell out of me. She got my waist down from a 42 to a 36 and cut my body fat in 1/2.

She also helped me with my ward drobe, hair cut and everything else. Today she is my pal which is good. It provides social value because women got to watch her transform me and have seen me with her many times.

I also have come to the realization that porn is no good. Its an addiction and replacement for real women. Their is no motivation to chase women if you are at home spanking it. I have realized that I have used it literally as a replacement so I do not have to go out there and meet women. Pretty f*cked up when you step back and think about it.

Regardless I just finished deleting all of it and destroying all the bookmarks as well. Starting tonight, no more.

This is the only part of my life that is still f*cked up. I do very well financially and the only thing that is missing is the women. I have a very bad habit of when I get discouraged I retreat and back off totally. Only in my case I back off for years.

So this is all good but I still SUCK with women. I am totally clueless and am looking for someplace to start. I bought the Neil Straus books as well as Mystery's. I need to make changes, I cant keep living the way I am living.

So what would you guys recomend, I will take any suggestions you have.

 

[moneyisking]

Jesus Christ, I can't believe how similar you and I are. B/c of my superior brother who not only gets laid easily with any girls but also has triple majors, I always had confidence problems and got shadowed by his presence with parents, family, girls, and friends. I was total AFC until I found this forum, and although I still am not great with women, at least I am the cool dude with the guys, and I am thankful of it.

Addressing your question, I am not very suitable to give you the game advice since I have V-card and obviously I am still improving but I think what your player friend said was definitely true. you over think it to much. Just talk, who cares what they think..

This is it. That's all you need. This is the truth, and I know it, you know it. But problem with people like us is that we know it by head, but it doesn't come to the heart. So what we got to do is, practice, practice, practice talking with girls, reassure, reassure, reassure ourselves of it, and believe and believe and believe it, and practice more and more. tincanman, although you might be older than me, it's funny how I saw myself in your thread. Good meeting you and much luck to you. Let's get them hos clawing for us, and it will happen. BTW, READ THE DJ BIBLE. IT'S A MUST.

 

[Jet]

Wow. You sound A LOT like myself. After reading loads of material I realized it's the internal game I needed to work on. I'd stay away from Mystery and canned type stuff. The only thing about Mystery's stuff that I think may benefit you is how he explains the origin/reason for Approach Anxiety etc.

My favorite material is Book of Pook/DJ Bible, RSD's Blueprint, and learning about Body Language/Eye Contact.

Now I'm trying to work on being more sexual and comfortable with that.
Congrats on getting your **** together. Feels good huh?
I just started taking a med for anxiety after many years of your exact situational anxiety. We'll see how that goes.
That's awesome you're set financially. So you should have plenty of time and resources to allow you to go out and meet women. Above all else, find material that feels like you, study it, allow it to give you the confidence you need to just go out and try. And if you'd like a friend who knows what you're going through, send me a PM. Maybe we can share experiences and help each other out.

 

[CarlitosWay]

Sounds like you have yourself setup up to do well. I'm a poor ass student but I can still pick up woman/attract make do by rockin' the best stuff I can afford and just taking care of myself in the gym and in front of the mirror. You sound like you're well on your way to being successful.

The biggest problem I see on this board is most guys go out and think they some how have to "entertain" women or something. No you should be out there cause you want to have the time of your life and live it up, no problems no worries. Entertain yourself first and woman can just come along for the ride.

 

[marinetti]

Congrats on the life changes man.

Now's the time to really decide what kind of character you want to portray. If you're a dancer, it's time to master the clubs. If you're a fitness guy, start training for runs, going to group activities at your gym, etc. If you're a movie buff, find a circle of similar movie geeks in your area.

Essentially, when you start defining your character in terms of the experiences you choose to go through, you will be making yourself more attractive to the women who have already chosen those similar lifestyles for themselves. Now its a matter of going where they are and meeting them.

 

[todays_news]

She also helped me with my ward drobe, hair cut and everything else. Today she is my pal which is good. It provides social value because women got to watch her transform me and have seen me with her many times.

Reading stuff like that really restores my faith.

I also have come to the realization that porn is no good. Its an addiction and replacement for real women. Their is no motivation to chase women if you are at home spanking it.

If ever I'm going out on the chirpse and I know a few days in advance, I wont have a tommy tank for at least 4 days before haha.

This is the only part of my life that is still f*cked up. I do very well financially and the only thing that is missing is the women. I have a very bad habit of when I get discouraged I retreat and back off totally. Only in my case I back off for years.

All good things come to those who wait. Keep killing it in the gym and read those books, keep your appearance up. And you be slamming in no time at all.