Well, my first piece of advice is to use the search tool. There have been a lot of good posts about this. I actually just noticed now that this is posted in the high school forum, but it's all the same with kino.
My initial thought based on how you described the problem is that you might be trying to make too much out of kino. Especially when you say "freeze when i know im supposed to use it". If you plan on using it at set times, of course it won't feel natural.
The reason kino works is because it shows that you are relaxed and comfortable enough around her that the thought of touching, even accidentally, doesn't scare you at all. It shows confidence. If deep down you actually are really nervous and tense, kino won't work properly. So step 1 is to relax. You should be having fun, no need to be nervous.
The other thing about kino, it is not necessarily meant to be sexual. This part is why I asked you how you try to use kino. Yes, you can consider rubbing her thigh kino. But it is also something as subtle as your hand brushing against her arm "accidentally" when you walk by her. Or your hand touching hers a bit as you reach for something across the table. As long as you break the barrier somehow.
My personal favorite is walking up to her from the side, and putting my hand on her lower back as I lean in to tell her something. If she doesn't pull away at all, I move in front of her to make sure I can make good eye contact with her, and lightly touch her arm during my next comment. If she does back away a bit, I stay off to her side, so I don't give off the feeling that I'm smothering her. But in this case, you have to try again later! If she moves once, don't go run and hide. Be persistent, without being needy/creepy/annoying.
Practice on your friends, even guys. Yes, I said guys. Get used to touching people. Put your hand on your friend's shoulder, tap him on the arm with your left hand as you shake his hand, lightly push your female friends, whatever. Just get used to it so it comes natural.
