My goddamn penis refuses to "listen"!!! **** THIS!

[C-quenced]

I'm unable to get my mind around exactly what the hell could possibly be wrong with me but something so seemingly trivial is putting me in a state of melancholy. To be dead ****ing honest typing this in itself causes me unbearable shame. I understand you guys aren't doctors but your comments, opinions and suggestions (so long as they aren't one of those random, sarcastic comments made by some c0cksucker internet warrior trying to be funny or sound smarter then he/she really is) would be greatly appreciated.

To keep things in perspective, as of right now I haven't made it to "rock star status" yet, so it's not like I bed several different women every night of the week, but whenever I get lucky with a girl that meets my standards I try to seize that opportunity. This happens sometimes, not always therefore I'm not really as experienced as I'd like to be. This is ignoring the fact that I screwed my first chick sometime last year, and before then I wasted 3.5 years of my life on my ex "potential" fiancee whom I've NEVER had any sexual contact with. I'll point the finger at my religious upbringings for the mistake of waiting but right now I don't now if this is contributing to the issue at hand.

Anyways to make a long story short I've gotten "lucky" on two different occasions this past week alone, with two totally different broads and my fvcking c0ck (if it even manages to come up) doesn't wanna STAY hard! The first woman I was with had me ready to go (it felt like I was equipped with a steel pipe shooting out from my "private" section) but I began to lose my hardness all while I was trying to get the fvcking condom on and right from there my life went straight to hell on a one way ticket. I tried becoming erect a second... scratch that, a fourth or fifth time and it just became impossible. It's like the more I tried the worse I made it.

Several hours ago I had a fresh opportunity with a new broad (god did she have a nice fukcing pvssy) and found myself haunted by the same bullsh!t situation from last week. I was a little over "halfway" hard after getting a bl0wjob and sliding on the condom yet only managed to slide the head inside of her and nothing more. I was having a difficult time getting it inside of her and even though it felt insanely incredible when my glans were rubbing up against that beautiful fukcing pvssy I was still finding it difficult to become excited enough to slide the fvcker into her and enjoy one of life's greatest pleasures. I was afraid before things even progressed to that level that I was going to face the same situation I did last week. This has officially ****ed up my life! It's beyond depressing and absolutely repugnant and makes me very disappointed in myself. How could it even be possible to want something so bad that when the opportunity arises some mysterious setback on my behalf prevents me from enjoying the experience?

Has anyone ever had this experience? Any suggestions at the very least? This seems to be one of those incredibly awkward occurrences that can only happen to me. Also keep in mind that a common theme is women commenting as to how "nervous" and tense I seem in these situations.

 

[HoneyHitter]

I had the same after a long dry spell. This is what helped me out: practice putting on a condom when you're all by yourself. You waste a few condoms, but it's worth it. Use your imagination or porn to get aroused.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

I'd add to that, this is all in your head. Your previous issues are creating a mental barrier for you. Happens to most of us at some point.

I can't really say what will work for you as I did some pretty odd things to overcome it back when I first started. Best thing to do is accept you will be nervous and keep trying, because after you get that first burd conquered, it'll disappear.

Good luck!

 

[EFFORT]

Your just suffering from performance anxiety. Most if not all of us have experienced it so its just not you.

Its definitely a nasty mental cycle to get into. You have it happens then the next time around your mind starts thinking "I hope this doesn't happen again" and you start getting nervous and it happens. And on it goes.

Check out the post I made in this thread.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=159386

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

Has anyone ever had this experience? Any suggestions at the very least?

Yes, I had a very severe case of performance anxiety. It took me over a year and dozens of embarrassing attempts to finally penetrate. I was 18-19 yrs old spanning from the end of my high school year to the spring of my freshman year in college.

Ive come to the conclusion it was a combination of my nervousness and the pressure I was putting on myself to perform like a porn star. I was too much in my head, thinking about my next move when I should have just been enjoying the sights, feelings, sounds and smells of the experience.

You have the best chance of succeeding if your at a relaxed location with a girl who your relaxed and comfortable with. I was able to do it with a friend of mine because I knew I could trust her and she wanted to help me.

I will admit my anxiety about sex still affects me but in a slightly better way. Im always able to get up when the time comes, im just not able to cvm unless I really want to. If your problem is anything like mine you should have the same "problem" eventually.

 

[backseatjuan]

I was in a situation like this. Have to either.or stop jerking off for at least 1 week, take viagra 100 mg pill - if you have to take pill after two three pills you can stop. Fixes you.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Anxiety + Masterbating = your dilemna, Don't masterbate or watch porn and your problems will be fixed. It is hard to do but will save you a life full of problems.

 

[Racecar]

I think part of the problem is your mindset. You refer to sexual experiences as times when you "get lucky." This implies you see sex as some sort of chance event bestowed upon you by some gracious, charitable female.

This is not the case!

You sir, must believe yourself to be an object of desire. Have confidence in yourself and your ability to satisfy a woman. Even if your equipment won't cooperate, you still have your hands, tongue and most importantly your WORDS and ACTIONS.

70% of sex for a woman is mental. It's the circumstances leading up to sex and how you present yourself. It's how you talk to her. How you touch her. How you look at her. Next time, pay special attention to these things as you'll find the memory you create will often times trump even the best of performances.

As for your limp biscuit, here are a few solutions:

- Stop jerking it so often. Maybe once a week tops.
- Eat the right foods. Things like granola bars, trail mix, bananas, broccoli and cherries will help improve blood circulation to all parts of the body.
- Exercise and stretch.
- Avoid stress and relax.
- Make sure you're getting enough sleep.

 

[Korrupt]

Just want to add that masturbation has NOTHING to do with your libido/test/ED problems. Porn can affect you psychologically, but masturbation (without porn) doesn't hurt you in any way, shape, or form. It's actually good to masturbate frequently. I'd say once every other day would be optimal.

But what you have is performance anxiety. You have to RELAX (easier said than done, obviously). Or, you can buy some Viagra and take 1/4 pill each time you're going to have sex. Even if you don't need the pill, it will calm your nerves because you'll be thinking "well, I'm definitely not going to have any problems because I took a Viagra."

 

[Racecar]

masturbation (without porn) doesn't hurt you in any way, shape, or form.

I don't know about that. I would think that there'd be diminishing returns at some point - particularly if someone is having sex that frequently. Your penis would require more stimulation to achieve the same level of arousal. This seems particularly true for oral sex. If a guy (through masturbation) is accustomed to a certain level of pressure and a woman does not match that same level, he will not become aroused as easily.

Similarly, if he is used to whacking it to HB9s, a real life HB7 won't be nearly attractive enough to simulate arousal.

 

[C-quenced]

I'd really like to thank all the guys who replied for their useful advice and suggestions. Looking through the internet I'm actually quite shocked to see how many males (ages ranging from their teen years onward, but mostly in their 20's) actually go through this same experience. I was beginning to freak out from all the confusion as I feel exactly the same, physically speaking, as I did when I was 16 or so. So far this is what I've found

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...induced-sexual-dysfunction-is-growing-problem

According to the article (in bold)
Recent behavioral addiction research suggests that the loss of libido and performance occur because heavy users are numbing their brain's normal response to pleasure. Years of overriding the natural limits of libido with intense stimulation desensitize the user's response to a neurochemical called dopamine.

and

Many men don't realize their brain's sensitivity is declining toward normal sex because Internet erotica delivers endless dopamine hits—making erection and climax possible where normal encounters would not. When they try to have actual intercourse and cannot, they understandably panic.

The brain changes causing porn-induced erectile dysfunction arise from actual physical addiction processes (among them, numbing of the pleasure response of the brain).

It would have never occurred to me that this was even possible therefore I'm gonna have to abandon my old habits for good. After all these years it's easier said then done. Here's another link for further reading

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencet...se-internet-porn-likely-hopeless-bedroom.html

 

[C-quenced]

Your previous issues are creating a mental barrier for you.

I was thinking the same. But I can't pin point exactly what it may be that's bothering me so much and causing this barrier.

@EFFORT, Sir Psycho Sexy & Korrupt

I think part of my anxiety stems from not being larger (down there) then I'd like to be. I'm not small by any means (well above average on a good day) but I'm certainly not a horse either. Have you guys ever struggled with yourselves based on this mental block alone?

I was in a situation like this. Have to either.or stop jerking off for at least 1 week, take viagra 100 mg pill - if you have to take pill after two three pills you can stop. Fixes you.

Pills sound like an excellent supplement. Dumb question but how do I get my hands on that stuff? I see it advertised all the time but never thought I may find any use for it.

I think part of the problem is your mindset. You refer to sexual experiences as times when you "get lucky." This implies you see sex as some sort of chance event bestowed upon you by some gracious, charitable female.

This is not the case!

You sir, must believe yourself to be an object of desire. Have confidence in yourself and your ability to satisfy a woman. Even if your equipment won't cooperate, you still have your hands, tongue and most importantly your WORDS and ACTIONS.

I pride myself in not having my sense of self worth tied to the kind of women in my life, however it's ultimately a woman's decision if she'll allow you to **** her or not. You could be right though and my mindset of "getting lucky" just may be doing me more harm then good. Thanks for pointing this out to me bro.

I don't know about that. I would think that there'd be diminishing returns at some point - particularly if someone is having sex that frequently. Your penis would require more stimulation to achieve the same level of arousal. This seems particularly true for oral sex. If a guy (through masturbation) is accustomed to a certain level of pressure and a woman does not match that same level, he will not become aroused as easily.

Similarly, if he is used to whacking it to HB9s, a real life HB7 won't be nearly attractive enough to simulate arousal.

I'm totally with you. I'm gonna have to get rid of all the x-rated stuff and do without it. Time for me to start clearing up my hard drive.

 

[Desdinova]

Your problem is all psychological.

I'll point the finger at my religious upbringings for the mistake of waiting but right now I don't now if this is contributing to the issue at hand.

My religious upbringing really fvcked up my subconscious when it comes to sex. I have extremely bad performance anxiety which I've battled for years. When I'm finally comfortable with a woman, I'm fine, but that takes a while. I finally decided to get some help with it. I found a nice quack doctor who prescribed me with the little blue pill.

You don't need a whole 100mg pill. I cut mine down, at first at 50mg, then 25mg. As the anxiety subsides, you won't need it.

Performance anxiety really fvcks with your confidence and self-esteem. The woman you're with won't help either, pestering you about not finding her attractive enough when that isn't the case at all.

 

[SharinganUser]

I was in a situation like this. Have to either.or stop jerking off for at least 1 week, take viagra 100 mg pill - if you have to take pill after two three pills you can stop. Fixes you.

Worst ****ing advice I've read on here in awhile. If you take Viagra for to long then it could actually worsen your ED.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I have the same problem and have been this way for years. I just don't get turned on by strangers. I have to know a woman and associate her with good sex before I can start performing at 100%. On average it takes me 3 months of regular good sex to get over this.

Not jerking off is not always the answer. You can stop for a week and have a decent result, but anything more than that and you will experience a temporary loss of libido. The exact opposite of what you are looking for. Anyways, jerking off isnt that bad it's the porn that messes with your erections because you are overstimulating your body with porn. Unless your banging porn stars of course...

The viagra solution is good as long as you use it just to get over the first couple times.

 

[patrick.de]

I study Psychology and it's true that porn desynchronizes your erectibility. If you give a male rat a chance to screw a female rat he will *** quite fast, however, the more often he screws her the longer it takes him.
The second you exchange the female rat with another female rat the time it takes our lucky buddy to achieve an orgasm is reset.
Internet porn is very stimulus rich, often you watch more than a single woman being screwed and often in ways which you wouldn't encounter in reality. You habituate to that and find it harder (heh) to get erected when a regular woman is lying beneath you. Like you wouldn't get hard from an online picture of a naked woman lying in bed.

I'd watch less porn or quit completely if you can. Better use pictures instead of videos if you do.
If you're (un)fortunate enough to be in the said situation, just be honest, don't tell her how this never happens and it's so not you. Tell her you're nervous, takes some pressure away and makes you a real person.

 

[mrRuckus]

I'd think it a good thing if you were desensitized a bit to normal sex depending on just how much. It's not a good thing for men to have women be the exclusive distributors of that dopamine hit.

Monopolies are bad.

And I know it differs for other dudes, but honestly any time I couldn't keep it up having sex has been because I really just wasn't that attracted to the girl but was doing it anyway because just because she was willing or offered it up or I thought I'd convince myself I'd like her more if I just gave her a chance.

The last girl i remember this with, I hated her nose. It was too damn big, and I couldn't get past it regardless of the hot body. MrLittleRuckus correctly replied with "dude you don't want to curse your daughters with that," made me more and more repulsed, and refused to allow such a flaw into my children's gene pool.

Funny thing is, is that women know. They blame themselves and often you try to convince her otherwise because we're nice dudes like that who foolishly care about others' feelings, and simultaneously convince ourselves sometimes, that it's performance anxiety or something else, but fvck, it usually really is:

That b1tch just ain't hot enough.

Maybe not always, but I think more often that we admit, so guys, next time you are struggling to stay hard, and immediately start blaming yourself and worrying about what she thinks and all that, remember, the issue probably wouldn't have even started if she were hotter. It's probably her fault. She is the catalyst.

 

[DonutMan]

I too once had this problem. My doctor prescribed me cialis to help me out "psychologically." I got with a chick and lost it after a minute, because I was still ****ed up mentally. Fortunately, I started dating a really cool girl who helped me get over it and now I don't have any problems.

The thing to remember is that nothing is wrong with you. It happens to everyone at some point. Don't beat yourself up over it. If you lose it and your with a girl make sure to pleasure her other ways. Then she may be more inclined to try with you again later. Unless she is a ***** she won't make a big deal about it.