Guys, I need some sage advice, or at the very least a swift kick in the pants. Long post, so thanks in advance for reading.
I’ve been seeing this woman for a little over two months now. I know it’s still early, but I can honestly say that it is on the right track. We have a great time together, spend weekends together at her place, and maybe a night or two during the week going out. Sex is mind blowing. We’re both throwing around “couple” nicknames like baby, sweetie, honey, etc. and say things like “I love xxx about you” or “I love spending time with you.” We have not exchanged “I love you’s” yet (a good thing...it is a bit early for that) but instead she says “I adore you.”
We have honest communications; at least, I think we did, until the other day. I’m open about my dating habits – I do NOT date multiple women when I find someone I want to spend time with. She knows this, and was extremely appreciative when I told her (it led to sex). So we had a conversation the other day about her dating habits. It started when we were talking about match.com (where we met), and I asked—playfully, not because I was really concerned about it—if she had been on dates with anyone since we met. She said no, but then she said “I don’t want to have this conversation.” I asked her what conversation, and she said it sounded like I was leading to the exclusivity talk. I said I was really just asking, no ulterior motives. I wish she’d left it there, because she then said, “I really like you and love hanging out with you, but I’m not ready to have that talk just yet.” I let it go, but it’s been bothering me since.
My question is why wouldn’t she be ready to talk about it? We already act like we’re a couple. She’s met my friends, she buys me stuff, she’s talking about planning a trip together to the Caribbean this winter. She told me her friends told her she is happier and more relaxed than she’s been in years because of me. And yet she can’t talk about being “exclusive”?
Am I reading too much into her words? Should I just trust her actions and leave it at that, and let her bring up exclusivity when she’s ready? What’s the best way to “be the man” in this case?
Thanks folks.
I’ve been seeing this woman for a little over two months now. I know it’s still early, but I can honestly say that it is on the right track. We have a great time together, spend weekends together at her place, and maybe a night or two during the week going out. Sex is mind blowing. We’re both throwing around “couple” nicknames like baby, sweetie, honey, etc. and say things like “I love xxx about you” or “I love spending time with you.” We have not exchanged “I love you’s” yet (a good thing...it is a bit early for that) but instead she says “I adore you.”
We have honest communications; at least, I think we did, until the other day. I’m open about my dating habits – I do NOT date multiple women when I find someone I want to spend time with. She knows this, and was extremely appreciative when I told her (it led to sex). So we had a conversation the other day about her dating habits. It started when we were talking about match.com (where we met), and I asked—playfully, not because I was really concerned about it—if she had been on dates with anyone since we met. She said no, but then she said “I don’t want to have this conversation.” I asked her what conversation, and she said it sounded like I was leading to the exclusivity talk. I said I was really just asking, no ulterior motives. I wish she’d left it there, because she then said, “I really like you and love hanging out with you, but I’m not ready to have that talk just yet.” I let it go, but it’s been bothering me since.
My question is why wouldn’t she be ready to talk about it? We already act like we’re a couple. She’s met my friends, she buys me stuff, she’s talking about planning a trip together to the Caribbean this winter. She told me her friends told her she is happier and more relaxed than she’s been in years because of me. And yet she can’t talk about being “exclusive”?
Am I reading too much into her words? Should I just trust her actions and leave it at that, and let her bring up exclusivity when she’s ready? What’s the best way to “be the man” in this case?
Thanks folks.