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long term cheating. WHY does she do it?

iliketennis

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been seeing this girl since last october. for the first few months, she told me she wanted to be with me, she just had to figure things out (like how to move out of the apartment she shared with her boyfriend of 3 yrs). she told him about some of what was happening, i was even there with her a couple times when he walked in. we broke things off in december. i wanted her to become my girlfriend like an AFC, but she never came around.

but for the past 6 months, i've been banging her still. probably 10-15 times since january. this week things have heated up again and next week i'm going on a short trip with her AND HER FAMILY, who know the whole situation. i never bring up a relationship between us and neither does she. there are more "rules" now, i don't text her unless she's at work. she blocked me from her account on facebook, aim, etc!

my question is: WHY does this girl continue to do this? she's had almost a year to decide what she wants and she still wants to live with this guy, maybe marry him, and yet she's still banging me. she doesn't care that anyone else knows either. wtf is going through her head?

little background, her boyfriend and i both have good jobs. but he's very introverted/nerdy and i'm more of an alpha type (at least striving to be!) also i have 3 other chicks i'm getting with every week.

WHY?
 

Desdinova

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wtf is going through her head?
You're not going to find any logic here, so you might as well give up on trying to find it. All that matters to the woman is that she feels good. There's no logic when you follow your feelings.

I was in pretty much the same situation. This woman screwed around with me while she was living with her BF. She didn't feel guilt of any sort. She had no problem screwing around on him with me, and she had no problem sleeping in the same bed with him and giving him some action as well. I didn't even try to ponder it, I just enjoyed the ride.

If you're enjoying the ride, keep riding. If you're determined to get a relationship out of this woman, then drop her for good.
 

kingsam

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your an idiot for putting up wiht this situation

she does it coz you put up with it

your an aplha...pphhtt!
thats BS, a true aplha would have probably banged her, then when he realised it was a messed up situation he would have dropped her and never talked to her again, b'coz he has standards for the type of women he sees and respect for himself

there were red flags wiht this girl from the start...yet you ignored them and rationalised her behaviour
 

iliketennis

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well i'm not determined to get a relationship out of this. i know she would probably cheat on me down the road.

haha kingsam - you're right. i'm definitely not where i want to be. have lost 60 lbs over the past year and am just learning how to get women. i'm striving for alpha! i can tell you this though, if i was her bf, i would leave her in a second.
 

drak_ool

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nothing wrong with keeping on nailing her as long as you keep your feelings in check. Going on vacation with her and her family? that sounds like more than a straight forward fvkc-buddy relationship right there...

She's doing it because she can get away iwth it, like the others have said. If either you or her BF walked out of this mess, she would have to make a choice. But as things are, she can have her cake and eat it too, so why wouldn't she?

Under DJ principles, she's a true "alpha" hahahahaha
 

jophil28

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Toby, you need to know this-
YOu will be the one who loses here eventually.
Her investment is in the security of her relationship with him. That is why she stays .
You are merely filling in the gaps ...you are her 'optional extra'.
Ask yourself this - if she HAD to make a choice, who would she choose to stay with ?

Even if she did choose you and left him, could you ever trust her not to do to you what she is doing with you.
Ho's make poor girlfriends.
 

zekko

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my question is: WHY does this girl continue to do this?
My question is: Why do you?
 

Pimp-sicle

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Obviously the chick is a whack job, that's as clear as day.

But the real deal here is as Jophil said, YOU will be the big loser in this situation unless your regularly banging other women.

You've already admitted to wanting more from her at one point and while you might not feel that strongly about her now, when other options dry up, those irrational thoughts might creep back into your head.

As long as your not emotionally invested continue banging her from time to time.

If and when you start catching feelings for her again, completely drop her since you can't trust a slvt to be loyal.




PIMP
 

iliketennis

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well, I tell myself that I'm just doing it for the action. like I said, I have other options with chicks just as good looking and i see them all regularly.

i have no doubt that if pressed she'd choose him. i don't have any expectation of us actually being together.
 

3countriesPlan

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tobylikestennis said:
i am. 3 others right now for real
I have 4 girls and had an A girl. This girl was just another on the team but I met her family and almost even showed up at her sisters birthday party. She was not just another member of the team really but in fact slowly roping me in as a bf. This girl is roping you in and if you continue to give her the VIP treatment she is going to mess up your team unless you make it clear she is just one of the lovely ladies and not a cut above. Cancel on the trip with the parents and shove your d*** up her azz next time you hit it. Time to bring her back to earth. As far as that living situation.. damn, just hit it and don't even try to be in her life cause she's not normal.
 

scorpio1138

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I'm in a similar situation only she's in a long distance on/off relationship with another guy. It's been going on for a year now. Since last january I just decided she's an easy lay and nothing more. Just have fun with it while it lasts but keep on with other women.
 
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