I'm new, don't kill me!

[Miguel]

Hey everybody! This is my first post in this community! (Sorry, attention whoring is now over.) It’s nice to meet you all, and I look forward to getting to know a lot of you and all that jazz.

Anyways, I’m brand spanking new to this whole thing, and I was wondering if anyone could hand me a little advice on how to get started. I’ve read a couple books on the subject of meeting and approaching women and been browsing online forums for a while as well. (Mostly Alt.seduction.fast and seductionbase for sites. The Game by that Style dude, and Double you Dating by David D.)

So I’ve done A LOT of reading so I in theory know the stuff to a T. (or at least well enough not to come across as a complete moron.) But I’m more lost when it comes to how to dress, I need style advice. And how I can build up my initial confidence to approach. (it’s not a drive issue, I just seem to freeze at the “trigger” moment and end up sitting gawking... I feel retarded when it happens.)

Any suggestions and advice would be really appreciated.

 

[Social Calibration]

I already see the first issue and that's when you said you freeze at the "trigger" moment. If you've read some of stuff before, you probably heard the term "Fake it till you make it."

That's not true at all. In fact, that's ridiculous

Confidence, being attractive, and "game" is a set of belief systems that you incorporate into yourself consciously. Once you've understand this, there are no more "trigger" moments, but moments where you just go with the flow and move, talk, and portray that you're the sh1t with ease.

It comes to the point where you're not DOING anything attractive but you're BEING attractive.

In terms of fashion, many people over think this too much and the fact is that if you're a clean man, dressed casually well, and smell good you're fine. You don't need to dress like an Armani model.

To build your initial confidence, you first need to believe in yourself and NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF YOU. Say it to yourself over and over, because your confidence level will not improve if you even have a smidgen of caring about what others think of you in the back of your head.

Hope this helps.

 

[Miguel]

Sweet man, you caught me off guard with the "go with the flow" thing. I guess I’ve always been trying to break it down to steps that you can think about… like a video game or something. But like every video, once you become good at it, it’s really like entering one combo to move onto the next… you become good when you don’t think about it. (Good lord I’m a nerd and I need to get out more! Lol.) Thanks for telling me that!

Anyways, you said that I need to remove my confidence issue with people, not care what they think. How do I get down to that? I mean get those thinking patterns permanently lodged in my head? How do I learn or train myself not to give a F#%^?

 

[Al Moh.]

There are two options that I can think about right now:

a) If you want to take it slow but still improve, read every day a few articles in the bible and go out and APPLY. Reading every day should give you the motivation you need for the day.

b) If you are the kind of guy that likes to jump right into the cold water (like me xD) then sign up for the DJ-BootCamp: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=143503
But hurry up, you just have got about 15 hours left to join, it's going to start on Thursday. Read you way through the thread, especially the first page and you'll know what I'm talking about.

 

[Miguel]

Lol, I notice your running it! I certianly then will hope for good things from you! But thats drifting away from the point. I'll sign up, especially after asking for help... it would be just stupid to avoid it.

 

[Al Moh.]

I am happy to have you with us. Just to make it official, please post in the BC thread that you're offically signing up

 

[Miguel]

Yah, i'm reading through all the stuff right now so I don't trip any toes, i'll have my "request to join" put up in an hour or so.


If I read really slow.

 

[vonbock]

Heres my 2 cents worth for you. I think a majority of things they say on here are correct but it doesn't apply to every girl. I have tried C/F with one girl, I bet she sensed that I was working too hard and never gave me the time of day. I do the exact same thing with another girl and she wants me.
I wish there was a technique that can get you any girl you want and same technique each time. I know its tough but try to make it fun hitting on girls, like a game , rather than I am looking for my future wife.

 

[Miguel]

Well once I start it's great fun. I do honestly like people which I think is my largest advantage in this whole endevor. It's just getting things going... and ending them. My real problem is the confidence to open. Not ****y and funny. I'm sorta quite most of the time, and let the other person lead the converasation... but I'm always told I have a energy that makes people feel good, have fun, and that when I tell jokes their always smart and witty. (I think the world is lying to me, and your all in on it.)

But anyways, I usually can get MOST of the stuff to work... though often I collapse into the whole... too ****y thing. Meh, I'm learning so that doesn't bother me too much. I just want to turn up my numbers. Do it like 500 times a month rather then only getting the nerve to chat to girls once or twice a week. (Which sadly is my typical ratio.) Sorry, I know I'm droning and junk, just a minute more.

I really have found though, for most of the stuff, you have to realize that the stuff disarms the girls and their friends. But when it comes down to it, you have to be quick thinking, and smooth by yourself... which comes with practice. Once you've issolated, theres HUNDREADS of things the PUAs and leaders in the community have created to close... in many manners. But the real trick is knowing when to run them... it's like tetris, making all the blocks "fit".

Which is hard.

Anyways, I think I had a point in their somewhere... but I might of lost it. But my thing is, I need freaking confidence.

 

[ready123]

Sweet man, you caught me off guard with the "go with the flow" thing. I guess I’ve always been trying to break it down to steps that you can think about… like a video game or something. But like every video, once you become good at it, it’s really like entering one combo to move onto the next… you become good when you don’t think about it. (Good lord I’m a nerd and I need to get out more! Lol.) Thanks for telling me that!

in video games you have your combos internalized to the point where you're not thinking consciously about what buttons to push- they just come out. that's where you wanna get in terms of social skills. only way to do it is to gain reference experience and that includes getting rejected and dealing with the ups and downs. expect to get rejected - you need those reference experiences to grow

and you'll learn more useful information by going out and interacting, even if you have no clue, than reading all the seduction material available on the internet.

also there's no such thing as waiting to have confidence or waiting for the right time to open. the right time never comes if you're not acting

so go out, get rejected and then come back and post your experience

 

[JDA70]

:cuss: Bashing time!

LOL just kidding!

I can build up my initial confidence to approach. (it’s not a drive issue, I just seem to freeze at the “trigger” moment and end up sitting gawking... I feel retarded when it happens.)

Ok I'm just going by this.

First off stop feeling like your retarded for not approching.
That is a big no no. Your sort of training yourself to be negitive
if you don't do something.

So you got some confidence but then
you freeze and don't approach, setting there gawking.

You can read all the PUA/DJ/Dating stuff all you want,
get advice, argue with people, debate on and on and
it won't help you until you ask yourself " why didn't I approch her?"

Is it because your retarded? No, I don't think so.

I could go into the whole fear of rejection thing but
you already know about that I think.

Listen women are not goddess. They have to eat, sleep,
take a ****, fart, burp, shower and so on just like everyone else.

Don't make up stuff that's not reality either like...
She's going to think I'm weird.
She's going to think I'm a creep.
She's going to think I'm a player.

You get the point.

Just go up there and just say... Hi.

Don't make a big deal out of nothing.

Well that's it for now. PM me if you wish.

 

[Miguel]

@ ready: Oh, I definatly know a thing or two about rejection. Owch... I actually had a funny online story that just happened like 10 minutes ago. My ego feels like it was stung by 1000 angry bees! OWCH! D:>

@JD: kk, I'm getting the idea, don't worry... I just really need to smash it into my skull. Hard. I need to stop ****ting over every little mistake and junk, I know, so big deal.