If the other woman is a mistress..

[ketostix]

Then what is the other man labeled when a married woman has a 2nd guy as a lover? A cad or sob or maybe a womanizer? This might seem like a dumb question and I could probably look it up, but the fact you''d have to look it up means it doesn't really exist. And this is kind of similar to how STR8UP pointed out the negative womanizer label without there really being a female equivalent. Notice how mistress sounds quite dignified and there's really no negative connotation to it.

 

[STR8UP]

"Manstress" hehe....

Great post. Yet another way society portrays women as having a "passive" or even "victim" role in an inappropriate situation.

 

[jophil28]

I would call him desperate and stupid for getting in a triangle in which HE is the most likely,of the three people, to be used and discarded.

The "other man" ...sheesh ! It reeks of needy opportunism, and no self respect.

 

[ketostix]

I would call him desperate and stupid for getting in a triangle in which HE is the most likely,of the three people, to be used and discarded.

The "other man" ...sheesh ! It reeks of needy opportunism, and no self respect.

I would say the husband is the one in the position to be the most used and discard. Anyway, of course it reeks of needy opportunism and no self respect, especially when a woman is a mistress. That's my point, even though it's as bad or worse for a woman to do it, society labels the woman with a dignified sounding and non-negative title, "mistress", but not so for the male-counterpart.

I was just thinking, a guy's mistress could be married, but married women don't need a titled for their other man, he's simply a "friend", right ?

 

[decades]

I would call him desperate and stupid for getting in a triangle in which HE is the most likely,of the three people, to be used and discarded.

The "other man" ...sheesh ! It reeks of needy opportunism, and no self respect.

it depends on his motives. if it's just sex, then she is the patsy. But I think these triangles are the most damaging relationships one can have and are to be avoided.

 

[jophil28]

I would say the husband is the one in the position to be the most used and discard.

Not so ..I disagree

A woman who is having a fling with some random guy is doing so ONLY to fill the gap in her life that hubby will not or cannot.

A woman will rarely leave a marriage in which she is financially secure.
A woman can easily get romance and sex from many men, but she cannot easily find another man who will provision her. SO her financial provider will ALWAYS have higher value than a guy whom she is F**king.

The reason that women play games with sex is that it is an easily obtainable commodity to them. It is so readily obtained that she has also learned to use it for other benefits. Abundance = low value. However, woman cannot obtain wealth or a wealthy man so readily . He will always have higher value because he is SCARCE.

 

[mrRuckus]

I think in Titanic his name was "Jack."

 

[ketostix]

Not so ..I disagree

A woman who is having a fling with some random guy is doing so ONLY to fill the gap in her life that hubby will not or cannot.

A woman will rarely leave a marriage in which she is financially secure.
A woman can easily get romance and sex from many men, but she cannot easily find another man who will provision her. SO her financial provider will ALWAYS have higher value than a guy whom she is F**king.

The reason that women play games with sex is that it is an easily obtainable commodity to them. It is so readily obtained that she has also learned to use it for other benefits. Abundance = low value. However, woman cannot obtain wealth or a wealthy man so readily . He will always have higher value because he is SCARCE.

I agree to some degree that a provider is a little more scarce for a woman than sex. But providers aren't that scarce for women either, and providers aren't that valuable as they use to be because women can provide for themselves now. Who's to say this other guy couldn't provide just as well as the husband, and then become replacement provider? That's what happens more often than not. Also with the way divorce laws are, a woman can basically take the money from her husband and run. What you're say also assumes a woman will act rationally or at least wisely. I don't think women generally act that rationally and wise in their relationship choices. If a woman was in this case she wouldn't be a mistress in the first place

Anyway, to say the husband of a woman who is a "mistress" has higher value than the other guy is a mute point, because he's not valued. if the other guy is just after sex then why would he even want value like her husband's? If he's after taking her away, then nowadays a married woman hardly places anymore value on a husband than a boyfriend. Guys lose GFs to other guys all the time and guys also lose wives to another guy in divorce. If a guy is courting a single girl he risks losing to another guy. I don't see how the third guy has much to lose.

I'm not advocating to be a guy who messes around with a married woman at all. What I'm saying is the married guy has nothing to gain and everything to lose by his wife being a mistress. The husband has the most to lose, distantly followed by his wife, followed by the third guy. Heck, even a married guy with a mistress has more to lose than his wife. It'd be the same order. With the way things are today, the married guy always has more to lose.

 

[jophil28]

I think in Titanic his name was "Jack."

Yeah and the moral of the story is not to f**k a married woman on a cruise ship or you drown.

 

[jophil28]

. I don't see how the third guy has much to lose.

HE does not have anything to lose except his self respect and his heart should he become emotionally attached to her.

There are plenty of single women out there and if a guy knows his stuff (DJ wise) he should have his pick of them.

Just my take.