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I think im wron about this

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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So long story short...
Been with her for 3 years...break ups

.ok
..
I do what i want...she stays silent

.and im thinking ...maybe im treating her wrong...Because...i make her laugh...she makes me laugh..
i eat she eats

.i buy groceries...she comes and we buy together...separate bags...she goes to her house...i go to mine.

Heres the thing....
She sent me a positive prego test...
Legit...time of day...doctors name
I imidaitley went to her house....but she was all quiet..
I went with a bag of baby shampoo...baby wipes...baby cologne

.and pepperroni pizza...
She wasnt talking much so said.
Im gonna go...she said no dont
Okay..still shes quiet...finally she gets up to do her dishes...
I said...im gonna go cuz i dont feel good.
I left...didnt hear her response.
I come home to a text.
.why did you leave?
I didnt feel good

Then i said...is it mine?
She got pissed and blocked me on erthing...
Now i guess i have to wait 9 months and do the test
..
And pay...which...who cares...i make money.
But i wanted her to be happy...or at least feel like a conne tion.
Im not leaving her
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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So i said..do you want to be with...
Not with your attitude..
So i said...theres 3 pills you can take to force uterine lining shedding...i am sure it wont feel good...
But if you want to be single...

Thats whatyou wNt?
No...
But its not making you happy.
Its an option.
More options are...legal...
And i will take him or her on trips.
 

Money & Muscle

Master Don Juan
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Did she send you this positive pregnancy test during a time when you two were broken up? Am I understanding that correctly?

By the sound of this, you do not have a connection strong enough to effectively co-parent this child.
 

Macadellic

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Woman get their panties in a bunch when the government forces them to be a mother (abortion rights.)

But women are okay with the government forcing men to be fathers (child support.)

OP, if this woman keeps the baby and you are forced to be a father that you don’t want to be…

Then move to a different country and do not pay child support.
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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It was a joke at first ...tongue in cheek truth...it escalated...
I was there at her house the next moment...and weve been trying for a year..
Finally we both kinda lost the tought, but kept having unprotected...

I want a child but if she doesnt want to be with me cuz shes only 26 and whatever reason...thats ok. Ill do it legal and just co parent ....
She hasnt reached out so i might be right about questioning it
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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But...
She is not playing...
I cant get a hold of her...and im not going to her house to get the dogs on me.

Should i move on? And live...and wait ...and then wait some more 9 months for dna test...
Or does it sound like its not even mine, altjough she said...but..u never know
 

plumber

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Then i said...is it mine?
I understand this question... wrong question at this time. This is one of the questions not to ask unless what happened is what is wanted. Its a common thing to want to ask, but should be held back. There will be time to figure that out later. If it is yours, this is a huge huge huge insult to the girl. If its not yours, its an opening for all sorts of manipulation and bad feelings. Nothing good comes of this question early.
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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I understand this question... wrong question at this time. This is one of the questions not to ask unless what happened is what is wanted. Its a common thing to want to ask, but should be held back. There will be time to figure that out later. If it is yours, this is a huge huge huge insult to the girl. If its not yours, its an opening for all sorts of manipulation and bad feelings. Nothing good comes of this question early.
Yes...
I wanted this...we both had names picked out...
I have a 3 bdroom house...
It was a sarcastic joke as to why i showed up to her place with baby shampoo

But if its that serious for her
Then im thinking i hit a nerve and she let some other hit
..either way i would have to wait 9 months
But fvck it...its been a week now...
Its turning me off to the idea of been together...or having her in my life now
 

The Duke

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How?
Im very sensitive to it.
I want it more than she does.
For a year now...
By showing up with the baby gifts, as a joke nonetheless and asking if it was someone else's kid. You left her because she wasn't talking much. Be her damn rock, and be there for her. It's your girlfriend and your own baby most likely.
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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By showing up with the baby gifts, as a joke nonetheless and asking if it was someone else's kid. You left her because she wasn't talking much. Be her damn rock, and be there for her. It's your girlfriend and your own baby most likely.
I tried calling her.
She put on private all her socials.
She texted me back saying why am i writing her?
Idk what to do?
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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I want to be there all the time...weve talked about it for a year straight.
But i cant be there if she wont allow it.
Maybe i hit a nerve and its not mine...or dhe had a slip up with her ex and doesnt even know whos it is.
But to shut me out entirely doesnt look so good.

I mean...idk.
 

The Duke

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I tried calling her.
She put on private all her socials.
She texted me back saying why am i writing her?
Idk what to do?
Id start with an apology.
 

_sideways_

Master Don Juan
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I did.
She responded with....
It doesnt matter. You said its not yours. Ill handle it alone.

Which now shes twisting my words. I never said its not mine, im out. Peace!
Which makes me feel like i have no more options but to move on. Unless she asks me for help, i cant keep bugging her.
 

RangerMIke

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It doesn't sound like this couple is ready to be parents. Very unfortunate...

Now some advice to the OP:

Assume the kid is yours until you can demonstrate otherwise... yes... paternity test in 9 months will settle that, so until then, assume your life has changed. Worrying about it now is a waste of time.... but plan worst case... and that is you are a dad... you will be paying child support for 18 years... start figuring out how that is going to impact you... if in 9 months you learn the kid isn't yours then you know.

Expect a great deal of emotional roller coaster behavior from the mother. You will not be able to figure out ANYTHING while her hormones are beating against her mind.

You MUST figure out how to communicate with this woman... it is bad when you have a child with a woman you haven't married. It is intolerable to have a child with a woman who you are fighting with. She will be in a position to really make your life miserable. Since I do not know her, it is impossible to offer any tangible advice.

Explain to her that you were taken aback by what is happening and that you did not mean to upset her... ask her what she wants and tell her you will support whatever decision she makes. Then tell her what YOU want. Then listen to what she is saying... if she won't talk... politely excuse yourself and let her know that you are ready to listen when she is ready to talk... then give her space.

Good luck.
 
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