Hi guys, long time poster here. What can I say, after a really tough ride last year, being ditched by my gf after 4 years and hitting rock bottom, I’ve bounced back in spectacular fashion. I spent some time reacquainting myself with the DJ mindset, hit the gym religiously and got myself in great shape, both physically and mentally.
I’m a reborn DJ, only more confident, less afraid of rejection and less afraid of what people think of me. At work, I’m the alpha male and everyone looks up to me; I’ve got ****y and funny and neg hitting down to perfection, use it on everyone and I have admirers as young as 18 up into their late 40s. I remember all those desperate AFC mails and texts I used to send…now I’m the one receiving them.
I strongly believe in keeping my options open, so I’m seeing 3 women at the moment. One is just a booty call, the others I see every week or two and we date. However, there’s one girl who I want more than the others. We’ve been working together for over a year and we clicked instantly. She’s the sort of cool girl who could be a best friend and lover in one, very sexual and also really good company. A few months ago she started emailing me out of the blue, saying she’d like to get to know me better and asking about me and my interests. From there we started texting and calling each other regularly.
Being wise to the DJ ways, I made sure I never slipped into the friendzone, laying on the flirting and even escalating to phone sex a few times. A number of times she’s got really hot for me and tells me she hopes it’ll be for real “some day”. I suggested there and then or told her to name a time and place, but she always says she’ll get back to me. We’ve discussed different fantasy scenarios of living on a boat together, going around the world and lots of other things…all quite funny and lighthearted, but it makes for uplifting conversation and she seems treasure them. I neg hit her a lot and she gives it back, and we’re always having fun in each other’s company. More recently I got her to admit I’m special to her.
The big catch here is that she has a long term boyfriend and she won’t leave him. I’ve asked her out twice and both times she accepted, but then backed out saying she’s not ready to leave her bf. I backed right off and went cool with her, and in true female fashion, she started chasing me, pushing me at work and trying to get my attention, then texting and calling every day (leading to more phone sex). Eventually she told me she’s scared if things don’t work out between us she’ll lose everything and end up alone. I told her to get back to me when she’s ready to stop playing it safe.
I know that backing off will lead her to chase me again and build her interest, but no doubt we’ll just end up going in circles again. I do wonder though if it’s all a bit of a Twilight type fantasy in her head and she’s just not interested in making it reality.
Yes, I confess I do have a bit of the old oneitis for her, but beyond that I really want to learn how to deal with girls with bfs. I’ve been in this situation too many times before and I usually blow it. I get the initial interest, escalate it to the point where they have emotional and sexual feelings for me but the bf always holds them back. One exception is my ex, but it took 2 months of hanging around as “friends” before she left her bf for me. I’m confident I can get this chick to do the same if she’d come out with me. I thought about asking her to meet just as friends, but I worry that might lead me into the friendzone.
Does anyone have any good advice on dealing with girls and their boyfriends (or with feelings for their exes)? Is there anything I can do or is it just a case of waiting it out or moving on?
Cheers!
I’m a reborn DJ, only more confident, less afraid of rejection and less afraid of what people think of me. At work, I’m the alpha male and everyone looks up to me; I’ve got ****y and funny and neg hitting down to perfection, use it on everyone and I have admirers as young as 18 up into their late 40s. I remember all those desperate AFC mails and texts I used to send…now I’m the one receiving them.
I strongly believe in keeping my options open, so I’m seeing 3 women at the moment. One is just a booty call, the others I see every week or two and we date. However, there’s one girl who I want more than the others. We’ve been working together for over a year and we clicked instantly. She’s the sort of cool girl who could be a best friend and lover in one, very sexual and also really good company. A few months ago she started emailing me out of the blue, saying she’d like to get to know me better and asking about me and my interests. From there we started texting and calling each other regularly.
Being wise to the DJ ways, I made sure I never slipped into the friendzone, laying on the flirting and even escalating to phone sex a few times. A number of times she’s got really hot for me and tells me she hopes it’ll be for real “some day”. I suggested there and then or told her to name a time and place, but she always says she’ll get back to me. We’ve discussed different fantasy scenarios of living on a boat together, going around the world and lots of other things…all quite funny and lighthearted, but it makes for uplifting conversation and she seems treasure them. I neg hit her a lot and she gives it back, and we’re always having fun in each other’s company. More recently I got her to admit I’m special to her.
The big catch here is that she has a long term boyfriend and she won’t leave him. I’ve asked her out twice and both times she accepted, but then backed out saying she’s not ready to leave her bf. I backed right off and went cool with her, and in true female fashion, she started chasing me, pushing me at work and trying to get my attention, then texting and calling every day (leading to more phone sex). Eventually she told me she’s scared if things don’t work out between us she’ll lose everything and end up alone. I told her to get back to me when she’s ready to stop playing it safe.
I know that backing off will lead her to chase me again and build her interest, but no doubt we’ll just end up going in circles again. I do wonder though if it’s all a bit of a Twilight type fantasy in her head and she’s just not interested in making it reality.
Yes, I confess I do have a bit of the old oneitis for her, but beyond that I really want to learn how to deal with girls with bfs. I’ve been in this situation too many times before and I usually blow it. I get the initial interest, escalate it to the point where they have emotional and sexual feelings for me but the bf always holds them back. One exception is my ex, but it took 2 months of hanging around as “friends” before she left her bf for me. I’m confident I can get this chick to do the same if she’d come out with me. I thought about asking her to meet just as friends, but I worry that might lead me into the friendzone.
Does anyone have any good advice on dealing with girls and their boyfriends (or with feelings for their exes)? Is there anything I can do or is it just a case of waiting it out or moving on?
Cheers!
