Great first date, crappy second date: Ongoing problem...

[tihash]

With girls that are "hot," I have had this issue occur more than once in the last few months: great first date (ends in kissing or in one memorable instance a BJ in the parking lot outside the bar) and then for date #2 I invite them to my house to watch a movie, and they are game and they show up, and then I just don't make a move.

I have noticed that with girls that are merely "cute," I have a really nice progression most of the time: kiss at end of first date, extended kissing and groping at end of second date (or sex if they are easy), and usually sex at end of third date. This is assuming we like each other and what not. Usually I have no problem making a move on the "cute" girl when she is over for the movie.

Obviously, when I am with a girl I consider "hot" and it is a second date that makes me be in my head and I do not make the move as I should. Is there any way to overcome that crap? How sadly ironic that I am depriving myself of who I desire the most.

Also, I am torn about inviting girls over to "watch a movie." With a "cute" girl, it seems perfect because it puts us alone in a private place and helps facilitate sex.

But with a "hot" girl, I find sitting on my sofa to be torture because for some reason it seems all the harder to make a move than if we were, say, at a loud bar and standing really close to one another. She just seems so damn far away. Then I start thinking about it and get all in my head. And knowing that I kissed her before doesn't seem to make it any easier.

What the heck is wrong with me that I can have trouble kissing a girl once I already tongued her down the last time we went out? And more importantly, any advice on how to fix this problem?

 

[samspade]

The answer is simple, and it's in your question.

The second date movie at your place is working for the "cute" girls, mostly. With the hotter ones, it's not - so change your 2nd date strategy when the women are hotter.

They probably know you want to jump their bones, so you need to play it cool. Inviting a woman to your place is implicitly offering her a shot at sex. With the hotter chicks, you will need to be a little more patient and not so worried about outcome. They KNOW what you want, but they will find your willingness to wait and qualify them attractive. So do an activity away from home, include a venue change, and then gauge her interest in possibly coming back to your place.

In my opinion, you should do this for the cuties and the hotties, just for good measure and practice. Keep their blood pumping and get them wetter for you. The cute ones might respond in much slvttier manners if you bide your time.

As far as being nervous about making a move on the hotter girls, that's all in your head. Try to think of them all as ugly and take the hotter ones down a peg. Remember that they all are in the same situation - they have to prove themselves worthy of you, not the other way around.

 

[tihash]

^^^

Great advice. Thank you.

I was leaning towards what you advised before I posed, but then got caught up in the idea of "don't treat her any differently because she is hot."

 

[Falcon25]

The more you make a woman wait and anticipate sex, but at the same time be sexual with her, the more she will fall for you.

 

[samspade]

Great advice. Thank you.

I was leaning towards what you advised before I posed, but then got caught up in the idea of "don't treat her any differently because she is hot."

Ha, that makes sense, but if you treat a hot girl differently at all, treat her like she's uglier. (Note - don't call her ugly - just act like you find her minimally attractive but that you'd still let her sex you.)

The phrase should really be "don't treat her better because she is hot" - which is what many guys do by default...human nature.