Got the "not looking for anything serious right now" :(

[supadups]

All,

I have one that you are probably familiar with but every situation is unique so I was hoping for some insight.

So there is this girl I've known through family friends for quite a while. I was able to get her number and we went out for coffee, all was well. Time goes by and she is sporadic in her responses to text messages but I manage to get her to come out for coffee again. After about an hour she mentions how she isnt looking for anything serious at the moment and not for some time but would like to remain friends (we've all heard this before). I pretty much wrapped things up quickly at this point but as we leave to our cars she mentions out of the blue "we can still go out and do things you know".

I wouldnt have written this post if not for her last comment. How should I interpret this?

 

[Uncharted]

She is not sexually attracted to you. Delete her number because it's over.

 

[samspade]

"we can still go out and do things you know".

Translation: I'm okay with non-sexual male attention and free drinks.

 

[Slickster]

I had a chick say the exact same lines once. Including the "we can still hang out" part.

I chuckled and said "No thanks I'm too busy hanging out with girls who are actually interested." Then I hung up on her. She called back 3 times but I never answered.

Another time I just responded with "Good, me neither" and then stop calling her. Eventually she ran into me while I was on another date and of course I got a phone call the next day.

Don't sweat it at all just keep on going and focus your attention on the ones who are showing the high interest.

 

[Packers2010]

the kids got one post. i think it might teach him a lesson to " go for it"

look dude. most girls now don't want to to have a relationship. MOST girl would rather sex first and bfed up later. it's just how it is. most guys forget this.

stop " trying" to get her to be your bf. just have fun with her. sex her up then go for " being the bf" later. it's something that " just happens"

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

She is an attention wh0re. Typical attention wh0re line. She is purposely leading you on for attention. That is the definition of an attention wh0re. Don't let less experienced board members who don't even understand the difference between a rejection and an attention wh0re tell you any different.

 

[yyc12]

Last time a girl gave me this line, we were back at my place having sex 20 min after the speech...was the beginning of an FWB situation. Not all the time it means no sexual interest; just that she doesn't see you as long term potential.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Last time a girl gave me this line, we were back at my place having sex 20 min after the speech...was the beginning of an FWB situation. Not all the time it means no sexual interest; just that she doesn't see you as long term potential.

Depends on the context. I think his context is quite different. :crackup:

Sounds like they had a really boring PG-13 date and she totally lost interest.

 

[PapiChulo]

Pretend to be her gay friend, get her drunk, have sex, then thank me. Make sure there is no "rape" ; P

 

[zinc4]

Last time a girl gave me this line, we were back at my place having sex 20 min after the speech...was the beginning of an FWB situation. Not all the time it means no sexual interest; just that she doesn't see you as long term potential.

I agree...i would say great me neither and grab her face and start kissing her...one way to fin out if she wants to fun or just some attention.....try again and get physical quickly.

Also, if these were 2 non physical contact coffee dates you could be friend zone stamped already.....you have to be more bold in the future...it wouldn't hurt to try again but this time get physical and escalate kino and go for the kiss quickly...don't waste time and if she is not into it just leave.....this will only waste 30 minutes of your time...

I recommend a movie date in the back row for quickness....as soon as you sit down put your hand on her knee.thigh...by the second preview go for the kiss after some thumb wrestling or what not or just flat out go for it...if she is into you, she will be receptive...also don't take no for an answer...show her how sexual you are until she screams for you to stop.

If it doesn't work, then who cares?

Just get out of your seat and leave early and say you just wanted to make out and that movies are boring....i mean it's the truth..unless it happens to be a really good flick. This way only 25-30 mins of your time will have been wasted...beats the heck out of babbling about nothing for 2 hours at a coffee shop.

 

[ARrocket]

Agree with the above posters, obviously.

But I'd like to add: You probably fvcked it up by going on boring coffee dates twice in a row. No wonder she got bored

 

[MisterAFC]

What she mean is that she love you so much, but she does not want commit

But you should keep trying every day and sooner she will be your sweetheart

 

[Naughty Ninja]

All,

I have one that you are probably familiar with but every situation is unique so I was hoping for some insight.

So there is this girl I've known through family friends for quite a while. I was able to get her number and we went out for coffee, all was well. Time goes by and she is sporadic in her responses to text messages but I manage to get her to come out for coffee again. After about an hour she mentions how she isnt looking for anything serious at the moment and not for some time but would like to remain friends (we've all heard this before). I pretty much wrapped things up quickly at this point but as we leave to our cars she mentions out of the blue "we can still go out and do things you know".

I wouldnt have written this post if not for her last comment. How should I interpret this?

1) First you must've come off like you were looking for a wife to her. From what you wrote she responded it seems that way.

2) Second she said "I'm not looking for anything serious at the moment" you should've said: "lol. What're you talking about? Neither am I."

3) When she said: "I'd like to remain friends." I'd reply: "What kind of friends did you have in mind? Cuddle buddies? Or do you need someone to hold your purse?" Her answer would right off the bat give you a clue if she wants a FB or an orbiter.

4) If you at that point got a feeling she wanted a FB..When she said: "We can still go out and do things you know." You could've mirrored her response right back at her and replied: "We can also stay in and do things to you know."


You have to flip their "negative" responses right back at them and guage off where her responses to your response of her "negative" sounding response goes. If chicks hold their ground. Drop em. If they know you know what they possibly "really" are trying to say as in "friends". You've got a potential FB.

 

[VladPatton]

So many good replies here. I'm sure we seem like dıcks since you're new around here, but trust me, these reactions to girls like these are for your own protection. We gain nothing, just spread the ideology.

A recovery at this point is pretty difficult since you've been on 2 dates and it did nothing to stimulate her vaj. So, be cool, respect her forwardness, and the next time SHE hits you up, politely tell her you'd rather not because you ARE looking for something more.

Side Note:There is nothing wrong with admitting to a girl that you have a proper working penis and you wanna fück her with it! Don't be a politically correct feminist, be a proud man.....man!

Then, say goodbye and hang up. Next time, get more physical, keep it flirty and fun, and use Naughty Ninja's reversal of statements logic to show her you are indifferent to her petty requests and you dismiss them. Keep in control od the date. Read the DJ Bible, there is way mucho bueno tips in there from A-Z.

 

[Strata200]

She doesn't like you. She doesn't like you two to be more than friends. She has no intention of ever getting into any kind of intimate relationship with you, not now not ever. Or maybe she just doesn't see you as a long term potential. Go for friends... with benefits. Just have fun with her. No emotional attachments. Being a boyfriend, it's something that just happens.

 

[Zarky]

If you at that point got a feeling she wanted a FB..When she said: "We can still go out and do things you know." You could've mirrored her response right back at her and replied: "We can also stay in and do things to you know."

Ok I'll admit that's brilliant. Gonna remember that one.

 

[Fatal Jay]

Translation: I'm okay with non-sexual male attention and free drinks.

LOL EXACTLY

 

[nismo-4]

She's just not that into you sexually.

Bradd80 gave you a powerful ass link that I among others wrote into.

Drop her ass and move on.

Case closed.

 

[rhythmic]

This is what I say to girls. I imagine it would suck to have it the other way around.

Just be happy in yourself, don't chase her and if you do meet up, do something interesting/something that will make her think, not just coffee.

 

[alpha_ash]

If this guy hasn't yet, he NEEDS to fall flat on his face FIRST! He needs to learn WHY all the responses in this thread are priceless gems for men. If he starts off with this then the value of our community will seem much lower in value than as a timeless, invaluable commodity.

EDIT: he needs to pedestal SS, not the girl!