Girl ditched me...what to do?

[DonJuan11]

Been friends with this girl for 10 years. Nothing sexual, never kissed, rarely hugged, just talk about stuff here and there, workout together, go to dinner, etc. I'm not attracted and she's had a few boyfriends. Went out to dinner with her during the week and she texts me yesterday in the afternoon.

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Her: "Hey, you up for something tonight, clubbing?"
Me: "Yeah I can do that, I'll call you later"
Me: (15 min later) "I'm going to head at 11:00 to XYZ, if you can come to my place a bit before then we can go together"
Her: "OK. We are going to meet a friend of mine there"

Me: (7 hours later) "You still going to XYZ?"
Her: "Yes, its definitely XYZ. My roomate (a girl) might come too, but I'll call you in a bit to confirm"
Me: "My friend and I might go to LMK to pick up"
Her: (1 hour later) "I don't think I can go out tonight. Drank too much at dinner"

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Phoned 3 times last night and once today, no response. What to do?

Thank you.

 

[Aboleo]

Phoned 3 times last night and once today, no response. What to do?

Stop calling.:nono:

Been friends with this girl for 10 years. Nothing sexual, never kissed, rarely hugged, just talk about stuff here and there, workout together, go to dinner, etc. I'm not attracted and she's had a few boyfriends. Went out to dinner with her during the week and she texts me yesterday in the afternoon.

I don't get it... do you want her or not? It sounds to me like you two are just friends. Also, if you are not attracted to her why do you care that she changed her plans? It's not like she made a 'date' with you.

 

[Prodigy746]

you have known this girl for 10 years and didnt get with her, what makes you think she will want you in next 10 years. Next this girl ASAP

 

[DonJuan11]

Stop calling.:nono:



I don't get it... do you want her or not? It sounds to me like you two are just friends. Also, if you are not attracted to her why do you care that she changed her plans? It's not like she made a 'date' with you.

We are friends and I don't like her that way, but by the way she reacted, maybe she thinks we are more than friends? I was expecting her to say "No problem, we'll just meet you there". I just don't want to lose her as a friend.

 

[Aboleo]

We are friends and I don't like her that way, but by the way she reacted, maybe she thinks we are more than friends? I was expecting her to say "No problem, we'll just meet you there". I just don't want to lose her as a friend.

Maybe she got a little too buzzed at dinner, or met some guy at the bar/resturant and went home with him... or both. She might have been too busy to talk to you if she was too drunk or trying to get laid. Simple as that.

It sounds to me like you are in the "friendship zone" of no return with this chick after ten years and no advances, so I doubt that she would have all that much romantic interest in you at this point. Unless she's really ugly or a major 'shut-in', I highly doubt it.

Wait a few days for her to call you back, then comment on what a flaky b!tch she's been acting like (use humor, laugh about it). Offer to meet her somewhere, then cancel on her at the last minute by going out with someone else. Even if she is just a friend, you should keep her in her place (which is on her toes). Just try not to build too much 'romantic' interest by doing this!

 

[WC2]

If you don't find her attractive, move on.

There's not point in being tied to a leash on a girl you don't even want. Who knows, she may like you a little bit. But she still ditched you. And you reacted exactly how she wanted you to react. You freaked out and called her 4 times.

Now she knows she can have you anytime. She's going to move onto a bigger challenge now.

Spin new plates and good luck

 

[LostAndConfused]

I figured everyone here would be like "DONT MAKE A GIRL YOUR FRIEND, EITHER YOU FVCK THEM OR YOU NEXT THEM"

Really bro, its fine to have female friends. But if you were really friends with her, you wouldn't have a problem believing her story. Its weird that you've been friends with her for ten years, and you get worried about her not able to hang out with you. Maybe you are suffocating her too much as a friend, remember, she's gotta get hers too.

 

[DonJuan11]

I figured everyone here would be like "DONT MAKE A GIRL YOUR FRIEND, EITHER YOU FVCK THEM OR YOU NEXT THEM"

Really bro, its fine to have female friends. But if you were really friends with her, you wouldn't have a problem believing her story. Its weird that you've been friends with her for ten years, and you get worried about her not able to hang out with you. Maybe you are suffocating her too much as a friend, remember, she's gotta get hers too.

Thanks dude. Appreciate the insight.

 

[DonJuan11]

and everyone else too

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Face it, she was using you as a fallback if her other plans didn't pan out. If you want to hang out with her as a friend, fine; just don't treat it as anything more than that.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

She sucks big time for what she did, and after 10 years friendship too.

ignore her calls for a while, dont call her. When you do speak to her in a couple of weeks, tell her that you were looking forward to hanging out, and you could have made other arrangements if youd known it was off. Tell her your dissapointed and feel awkward after what happened...its then her move.

 

[DonJuan11]

She sucks big time for what she did, and after 10 years friendship too.

ignore her calls for a while, dont call her. When you do speak to her in a couple of weeks, tell her that you were looking forward to hanging out, and you could have made other arrangements if youd known it was off. Tell her your dissapointed and feel awkward after what happened...its then her move.

I agree with you and what others have said. Yet my friend said she may have gotten angry when I said "My friend and I might do to LMR to pick up" . He said she was expecting to go out with me and then I tell her I'm going to look for some action with other girls because she's not giving it up, and that may have pissed her off. It's ridiculous though if she felt like that. We are friends and I've never been attracted to her and I know she's more experienced than me and she knows it too.

Women...can't live with them, can live without them.

 

[MacAvoy]

Her: (1 hour later) "I don't think I can go out tonight. Drank too much at dinner"

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Phoned 3 times last night and once today, no response. What to do?

Thank you.

I think you dropped the ball on this one. She didn't totally flake on you, she let you know that she got too drunk at dinner. Then you call 3 times after she told you she got too drunk (aka she was probably passed out why she couldn't answer).

More importantly what does she do for you that she's so valuable as a friend?

 

[Berlex]

move on

 

[DonJuan11]

More importantly what does she do for you that she's so valuable as a friend?

Not much except take away my boredom.

 

[MacAvoy]

If I'm going to have female friends, I first analyze if its worth it. Aka what do they bring to the table? I refuse to be the giver in a relationship with a women. Therefore if I'm going to have a female friend, its because she's brings new potential plates to the table for me.

For me thats the only way I can get over the sexual tension (I don't have any female friends that I wouldn't bang) If there good enough to be a friend, there good enough to bang IMO.