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Get angry, anger is good, and why we do it

Ease

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Anger is masculine, getting angry is a vice of men. It is adrenaline fuelled reaction that is required for our survival, to get ready for physical and verbal confrontation when we need to put our foot down. Aggression is a testosterone effect.

In the dj bible of confusion which you guys like to read, it says ‘nice guys never get angry, show her you can get angry’.
This is all true. Nice guys don’t get angry for the same reason they don’t make a loud entrance when entering a room full of people. Because they are too shy, and passive. These meek passive guys lack the testosterone aggression.

And we aren’t just talking about throwing your playstation controller at the wall when you lose. We are talking about when a guy bunks in front of you in a queue. When you are late for your plans because you missed the train. Whatever it is in the world that annoys you, that last one is just something I hate. Don’t mistake this for just ‘standing up for yourself’. That is the king of aggression situations, however the point is this is an all-round aspect. It is a part of us to be angry, let it loose, missing the train just makes me ****ing angry, then I have to rearrange the whole plan.

This is required to some degree in all areas of life. A meek passive guy is a guy that will not get angry and a guy that you can do anything to, it does not command any respect. The wise guy knows not to let his anger make him do something he will regret, but every powerful manly character has a dark side. Women love it because it is a show of masculinity, like flexing your muscles or flashing your money, it is a part of attracting girls for us. It is not something you will see on every ‘top 10 things girls love’, but girls secretly love it a little. One of those things they say they don’t like, but secretly do a bit.

In that bible it also says, ‘Show that nothing affects you. Never get mad at her, just smile’. There is good wisdom here, but this is a different angle. This should really be changed to, ‘Show that she doesn’t affect and manipulate you, never show too much emotion, just smile’. This is essential because when your girl knows how to get you angry or sad, it gives her a weapon for the future. Girls are built in with talent for manipulation, and once you show a weakness, she will hit you where it hurts every time things don’t go her way.

When to get angry, when not to, how to control it and how to do it is something that comes with experience and watching role models. In life, and with women. Even though we say show her nothing affects you, when she cheats on you with her ex is the time you put your foot down and get angry with her. She is doing something you don’t like: You tell her twice, and she tries it again for the 3rd time, she is seeing how far she can push you- you need to put your foot down and get angry. Similar situation with males, but in that case the aggression is to with dominance and establishing who is boss, with women you are the boss 99% of the time.

All with experience, cest la vie. I wrote this in response to a thread, but ive been wanting to discuss it for a while. We all want to hear wisdom of our colleagues so tell us about your experiences.
 

Mr Wright

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But on the flip side to that, getting all heated because a guys walked in front of you in a queue is just going to make you look like a douche, especially if its a mistake. I control my emotions, and the only time i get angry is when a girl ive known for a long does something which really annoys me.

I dont see me not getting angry as being passive, i see it as being always in control, so when i do get angry, which is very rarely, it means something. You dont need start shouting and puffing your chest to show you're masculine, you show that by getting things done. Look at the classic views of Mafia bosses etc they dont start shouting their heads off, they just carry everything out in the same way; whether their shooting some guy in the head or cutting a piece of steak. There's a difference between being passive, which i agree is not something you want to be and being in control, which in my opinion is more dominant than being angry.

I just see it this way, whilst some guys in a club are getting all heated and start fighting, im just going to sweep the girl out of the door.
 

PapiChulo

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One thing I ve noticed after I started lifting was an increased level of aggression when provoked, e.i. wanting to physically harm a person and more willingness to follow through with it (act irrationally),just overall madness like state, as if you can choke a man. And my irritability has actually decreased.
 

Myrrdin

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PapiChulo said:
One thing I ve noticed after I started lifting was an increased level of aggression when provoked, e.i. wanting to physically harm a person and more willingness to follow through with it.
Same here. Feels good tho...
 

Tyson420

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That's testosterone fuelled aggression. It's normal, every time I bench press I feel like ****ing a dude up.
 

LiveFreeX

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Extreme anger can lead to hyper tension and heart attack.

Anger does not make you more attractive, it only makes you look like a douche.

Fvcking up a dude can lead to jail especially in Canada.

Assertiveness, Charisma, Willpower, Determination and Creativity will serve you better than anger or aggression.

You want to know what drives a woman crazy? Walking away and not giving a fvck.

When you show anger, you lose control. When you show anger with a woman, you give her control of the relationship. If she disrespects you, walk... she'll get the message and she'll respect you for it.
 

ArcBound

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I agree with this post. It took me a long time to change bad habits, and start forming good ones, and forcing myself to change. Overtime my anger and sadness about my situation and my feeling that I could be, and SHOULD be doing more propelled me to do more. Sometimes anger is justified, and anger is needed. A content person is a person that never improves.
 

PapiChulo

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Actually you don't have to beat anybody up, most people get it even before punches start flying and back off, nor should you ever get physical with a woman as well. Its good to have anger in you as a survival mechanism for the folks that just don't get it in situations where you could not easily avoid it.
 

Strelok

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PapiChulo said:
Actually you don't have to beat anybody up, most people get it even before punches start flying and back off, nor should you ever get physical with a woman as well. Its good to have anger in you as a survival mechanism for the folks that just don't get it in situations where you could not easily avoid it.
This in true line, Im surprised nobody came with it before.
Being ready to attack someone most of the time is the only way to avoid the condition that require an attack.

Ever heard the line ""If you wish for peace, prepare for war" or "peace through strengh"?
When theres a provocation or an attack is necesary that the offending part is sure to dont receive a stronger reaction and the the offended would be unable to retaliate.
Any guys who attended a military academy can confirm.
 

Ease

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LiveFreeX said:
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the brother of aggression.

Like has been said, in certain situations, anything apart from aggression is a chump move. Somebody insults you in front of your friends, what do you do? If you walk away because you are scared of getting hurt or causing a fuss, then you have just lost everyone's respect.

A situation that will lead to legal trouble or leave me injured for life is a no-go. But instinct takes over otherwise. There's nothing like the adrenaline rush you get during a confrontation in front a lady you admire.

Talking about aggression in general being a masculine instinct. It goes hand in hand with putting your foot down and being assertive. Don Corleone was the king of peace and merciful leadership, but you dont get on the wrong side of him because of that fear.
 

LiveFreeX

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I'm guessing you've never been to jail. Trust me, its not fun or cool and is certainly not worth going to for some low life. If someone calls you something or insults you, walk away. I have studied 8 martial arts man, the most important thing you can learn is to get over your ego, its not worth screwing up your life.
then you have just lost everyone's respect
I can put a guy 6 feet under in 30 seconds, most everyone I roll with can too... the other people? Their respect isn't worth my time. If someone ever puts their hand on me, they will lose it, you need to respect yourself first.

Use your brain before you use your hand.
 

bigneil

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I agree with the OP.

First, for some personality types (Driver), Anger is the primary characteristic.

There are four personality types and each expresses emotions differently:

A Driver boils things down to Right and Wrong and when things are Wrong he gets Angry and expresses Indignation. This is normal for him/her.

A Feeler (what most women are) boils things down to Fair and Unfair and when things are Unfair they Bargain and express Conciliation.

An Analyzer (also common for men) boils things down to Logical and Illogical and when things are Illogical he Denies and Dismisses things.

An Elitist (rare) boils things down to Appropriate and Inappropriate and when things are Inappropriate he becomes Depressed and Exclusive.

Don't let anyone tell you that anger is wrong in and of itself, as the other 3 personality types often will do.

Feelers for example will see anger as unfair and will try and bargain with you (telling you that you should see counseling etc.). However Feeler women are highly attracted to Drivers.

The Establishment in general is increasingly trying to castrate Drivers (because they will stand up to Government tyranny) with this absurd notion that nobody should ever become angry and that we should sedate those who do (this is wrong, unfair, illogical and inappropriate but then so is the IRS).

We are born with our personality type. I am a Driver so if I don't get angry when things are wrong then I'm expressing a personality disorder. I've had two occasions when a woman I loved did not treat me like I deserved and when I had finally had it I put them in their place and told them enough was enough (expressing anger and in one case profanity). In both examples they had sex with me (for the first time) on the next date and told me it was a result of the feelings I created by putting my foot down (they admitted they were wrong).

Note: When someone disrespects an Alpha Male he usually gets in their face and people usually back down.

However if you tell a woman off and yell at them that generally won't lead to sex, so there is a fine line. Especially avoid this in the bedroom.

Source: D. Glenn Foster and Mary Marshall "How Can I Get Through to You" (1994).
 

heroshima

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bigneil said:
However if you tell a woman off and yell at them that generally won't lead to sex, so there is a fine line. Especially avoid this in the bedroom.
If you ever have to yell at a woman, don't EXPECT it to lead to sex. Say what you need to and then walk away. DON'T hang around and feel bad about it or try to talk it through further. Get out of there and let her absorb what has happened.

There are times when it is necessary to yell at a woman to let her know that something she has done is wrong. If you use your anger selectively, when you really feel like it is needed, she will respect you for it.
 
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