Well, I was sitting at home typing about sarging (I'm not at home now) and I realized that sarging was funner than talking about sarging. You know, "When all is said and done, much more is said than done"
So I cruised downtown, and I see a whole crowd of people outside the 9th street apartments. It's enough I'd almost call it a party. So I walk up, and introduce myself to a few people. I'm full-on mode, not knowing anyone but, as usual, I like to be the center of attention. I see one cute girl, but I don't start talking to her right away. She's looking at me, and I match her gaze eventually and start talking about something (I don't remember what, I'm a little drunk). I notice my friends Eric and Ethan, who I didn't see where there before, and they come over. Eric puts his arms around the girl I'm chatting with - it's his girlfriend! I didn't realize. Good thing I was going 'indirect'. After a while, I audibly exclaim (to a group of both guys and girls) "There's no hot girls here. Let's go to the canyon" (I was a bit drunk at this point). We start walking.
The bar is packed, it's Karaoke night, or some shyt, and I proudly start to march in with the crowd. "I'm going to need to check ID's", says the bouncer, so I produce my license and start to walk in. "Wait!" he tells me. "You've got a while to go, man" Yeah, so I don't turn 21 until October. So what. I do my best, try to convince him to let me in "It's just a few weeks!" "There's nowhere else open in this town" (true story) "C'mon, I look 21" (not true). Damnit. Time to roll out, so I call my best friend. He's down for whiskey at the grill spot. I'm walking there, and I see a car packed full of young adults at the stop sign, so I walk up to the car and say hi. UG inside says "Who is that" so I tell her "Moses!" she asks if I go to the high school "Fvck no. Do I look 16 to you?" She's not done yet. "do you have an eyebrow piercing?" "No," I reply, as it glints in the streetlight. She has two cute friends in the car, so I say "Hey, we're drinking at the picnic table over there, you guys come with" "Well we were going to see whats over there" "Nothing but the bar you can't get into, and a ton of cops" (that's a lie. there's no cops) "Oh, shyt, there's cops out?" "yup" So my friend and I start walking.
The car turns around, and the fat ugly girl yells out the window "Hey, why don't you get a ride?" (we're like 100 meters away, wtf) "No, thanks, I have to walk. It's how I keep my figure" My friend starts to ride his skateboard... thanks, jerk. "See, he's going, get a ride" I walk over, and she opens the door. I am not getting in with her, so I jump on the back and hold on the spoiler. "Last one there's a ****ing faggot!" I yell to my friend as we drive past him.
When we get there, I see my friend Tom. My new friends know him, and his nickname "Ten second Tom" which he informs them that I gave him. I play guitar, as is ritual, to start the drinking, and we laugh a bit about the Weekly World News (you know, the tabloid with bat boy) my friend has. Cute girl in white wife beater style tank top and I talk a bit. Fat girls keeps talking about how 'outrageous' I am. Cute girl is digging me, clearly. "So, where you from? Here?" "Yeah, I go to highschoolers" "That's too bad" "Why?" "Cuz you're cute, but I just don't do highschoolers" She laughed, but I was serious. So I poured some more rum into my doctor pepper, warded off a few more advances from the fat girl, and eventually cruised over to my best buds house (where I am now). Time for me to go finish my drink and watch some Family Guy.
KEEP SARGING - death to the KBJ
p.s. I'm a pimp. Turning down girls is almost as fun as turning them on.
So I cruised downtown, and I see a whole crowd of people outside the 9th street apartments. It's enough I'd almost call it a party. So I walk up, and introduce myself to a few people. I'm full-on mode, not knowing anyone but, as usual, I like to be the center of attention. I see one cute girl, but I don't start talking to her right away. She's looking at me, and I match her gaze eventually and start talking about something (I don't remember what, I'm a little drunk). I notice my friends Eric and Ethan, who I didn't see where there before, and they come over. Eric puts his arms around the girl I'm chatting with - it's his girlfriend! I didn't realize. Good thing I was going 'indirect'. After a while, I audibly exclaim (to a group of both guys and girls) "There's no hot girls here. Let's go to the canyon" (I was a bit drunk at this point). We start walking.
The bar is packed, it's Karaoke night, or some shyt, and I proudly start to march in with the crowd. "I'm going to need to check ID's", says the bouncer, so I produce my license and start to walk in. "Wait!" he tells me. "You've got a while to go, man" Yeah, so I don't turn 21 until October. So what. I do my best, try to convince him to let me in "It's just a few weeks!" "There's nowhere else open in this town" (true story) "C'mon, I look 21" (not true). Damnit. Time to roll out, so I call my best friend. He's down for whiskey at the grill spot. I'm walking there, and I see a car packed full of young adults at the stop sign, so I walk up to the car and say hi. UG inside says "Who is that" so I tell her "Moses!" she asks if I go to the high school "Fvck no. Do I look 16 to you?" She's not done yet. "do you have an eyebrow piercing?" "No," I reply, as it glints in the streetlight. She has two cute friends in the car, so I say "Hey, we're drinking at the picnic table over there, you guys come with" "Well we were going to see whats over there" "Nothing but the bar you can't get into, and a ton of cops" (that's a lie. there's no cops) "Oh, shyt, there's cops out?" "yup" So my friend and I start walking.
The car turns around, and the fat ugly girl yells out the window "Hey, why don't you get a ride?" (we're like 100 meters away, wtf) "No, thanks, I have to walk. It's how I keep my figure" My friend starts to ride his skateboard... thanks, jerk. "See, he's going, get a ride" I walk over, and she opens the door. I am not getting in with her, so I jump on the back and hold on the spoiler. "Last one there's a ****ing faggot!" I yell to my friend as we drive past him.
When we get there, I see my friend Tom. My new friends know him, and his nickname "Ten second Tom" which he informs them that I gave him. I play guitar, as is ritual, to start the drinking, and we laugh a bit about the Weekly World News (you know, the tabloid with bat boy) my friend has. Cute girl in white wife beater style tank top and I talk a bit. Fat girls keeps talking about how 'outrageous' I am. Cute girl is digging me, clearly. "So, where you from? Here?" "Yeah, I go to highschoolers" "That's too bad" "Why?" "Cuz you're cute, but I just don't do highschoolers" She laughed, but I was serious. So I poured some more rum into my doctor pepper, warded off a few more advances from the fat girl, and eventually cruised over to my best buds house (where I am now). Time for me to go finish my drink and watch some Family Guy.
KEEP SARGING - death to the KBJ
p.s. I'm a pimp. Turning down girls is almost as fun as turning them on.
