Flirting With Disaster

[leeman67]

This is a subject that I have brought up on another forum and wow, does it bring controversey and tempers. Im just going to generalize the question .


If you are friends with a woman at work to the point of a flirtatious level and she is married and you know there is a mutual attraction going on. Can that friendship continue to exist indefintely without crossing the line? I can say I have very good morals and would not ignite something like this. However, if she was to. I honestly am not sure if I could say no.



Let the fireworks begin!!

 

[DJDamage]

If you are friends with a woman at work to the point of a flirtatious level and she is married and you know there is a mutual attraction going on. Can that friendship continue to exist indefintely without crossing the line?

You don't really have a true friendship, more like coworker's who are acquaintance.

If she finds you attractive, it doesn't mean she will sleep with you, but it could go that way if you start spending time alone with the guise that the two of you are just "friends" who go out to have fun. However if she has a high interests in her husband, she wouldn't allow herself to be in that position out of fear of losing him.

Women who cheat put themselves in that position to do so.

 

[#41]

Can that friendship continue to exist indefintely without crossing the line?

Yes.

It's perfectly possible for two people to be attracted to one another, flirt a bit, but never act on those impulses. People who say otherwise are looking for justification, via some idiotic concept of 'inevitability,' for their own behavior.

 

[leeman67]

Yes.

It's perfectly possible for two people to be attracted to one another, flirt a bit, but never act on those impulses. People who say otherwise are looking for justification, via some idiotic concept of 'inevitability,' for their own behavior.

The other forum that I talk with says I need to avoid her completely because I am attracted to her emotionally and physically & to continue that aquaintence will lead to disaster. Im the type of person that if I like somone , I wont stop being friendly to them because of something like this.

 

[#41]

The other forum that I talk with says I need to avoid her completely because I am attracted to her emotionally and physically & to continue that aquaintence will lead to disaster. Im the type of person that if I like somone , I wont stop being friendly to them because of something like this.

So are you some slave to every impulse that courses through your system, or are you a rational and thinking being that is capable of making his own choices?

If you go boozing with this girl and you both get a little sauced one night yeah -- stuff can go down when you're not in your right mind. But, if you're interactions are strictly work-based and some limited non-work type activities, the only way something is going to happen is if YOU choose to make something happen. You're the man. The situation is how YOU want it to be.

 

[jophil28]

I can say I have very good morals and would not ignite something like this. However, if she was to. I honestly am not sure if I could say no.



Let the fireworks begin!!

So you have "very good morals" EXCEPT in a situation when a woman tries to seduce you. That means that you have conditional morals ,or 'morals in principle only.' You may have good INTENTIONs, but by getting sexual with her, you lack the INTEGRITY to conduct yourself in accordance with your moral values.
Therefor you cannot rely on your so-called "morals" to apply the brakes when the "moment" arrives (and it will )

SO lets dump the moral perspective and resort to the "pragmatic" approach.
Why not just do a cost/benefit analysis of sleeping with this woman.

YOu will discover that to do so is just a very foolhardy idea.

 

[decades]

you are a single guy and if you were spinning plates with Available women as advised here you would not have time nor interest nor the inclination to flirt with a married woman to the point where she would cheat.

 

[MacAvoy]

I'm gonna change teams and play the women are evil side for once.

You have to remember where you are. Your not in a pickup environment, your in a place where people are concerned about their livelihood and getting ahead financially.

What exactly is your work relationship? Is she making a power play? Is she doing this to get you on her side, to get you to help her with work? If she isn't, maybe you should use it to your advantage.

On a different note, if your morals tell you that its wrong to sleep with married women and you don't want to do that, What is the point of flirting with her if you don't want anything to come of it? Do you enjoy getting BLUE BALLS?

Law 36

Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge

By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.

Why waste your energy when it could be used more productively like improving YOUR career and financial position.

 

[reset]

If you are friends with a woman at work to the point of a flirtatious level and she is married and you know there is a mutual attraction going on....

Hey welcome to my world. No friends. Ignore. She be friends with other male puppy-dog co-workers. Don't give her the time of day. She will be all over you all the time all day.

This is as good as it gets.

 

[reset]

The other forum that I talk with says I need to avoid her completely because I am attracted to her emotionally and physically & to continue that aquaintence will lead to disaster. Im the type of person that if I like somone , I wont stop being friendly to them because of something like this.

It's not about not being friendly. If you pass her in the hall say "hi" or whatever. But you don't pursue, ever. Never initiate anything. You won't have to anyway, she'll always be there trying to get your attention anyway.

What is law 36?

 

[leeman67]

I'm gonna change teams and play the women are evil side for once.

You have to remember where you are. Your not in a pickup environment, your in a place where people are concerned about their livelihood and getting ahead financially.

What exactly is your work relationship? Is she making a power play? Is she doing this to get you on her side, to get you to help her with work? If she isn't, maybe you should use it to your advantage.

On a different note, if your morals tell you that its wrong to sleep with married women and you don't want to do that, What is the point of flirting with her if you don't want anything to come of it? Do you enjoy getting BLUE BALLS?



Why waste your energy when it could be used more productively like improving YOUR career and financial position.

Thanks Macavoy. your post really hit me like a building. Im going to hold on to this post if you are kewl with it.

 

[reset]

blue balls is right.