Field report - Good use of false time constraint

[TOneThousand]

I was out on wednesday night with friends. Noticed this cute fiesty looking girl (aka Caroline) sitting at the bar with her girlfriend. I went to the bar to order a drink and stood right next to Caroline when ordering. While ordering I said to Caroline and her friend something like "hey what are you guys up to". They responded friendly with "we've been hanging out at this spot all night" or something like that.

Here's where I used the false time constraint. I quickly BSed with them and made little jokes but I made sure to tell them that while I like talking to them I had to go back to my friends in a minute cause I didn't want to seem like I'm ignoring my friends. I pointed over to my group while I was telling them this.

While talking to them Caroline was paying a lot of attention to me and there was a lot of light touching between us, smiling and eye contact. Before I left the two girls I made a point to ask them both their names and then while I was walking away I said, K I'll see you in a guys in awhile.

Maybe a half hour later I went back to the same spot at the bar next to Caroline. I tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hey I'm going to order a drink here, hope you don't mind, I'll be quick". She seemed to really like this and happy that I came back to talk to her. Still I played the time constraint by telling her I'm just going to order a quick drink there.

She and I talked a lot more there but it was all fast paced and casual/fun talk. I was kinoing her a good amount. Then I asked what she's doing this weekend... she said she's going to this local festival on saturday. I told her I'm going to the same festival saturday with two of the girls I was there with at the time (this was true and not bs). I asked for her number and said maybe I'll run into you saturday. She gave me her number then I gave her a hard time for wearing soccer shoes. Her shoes weren't actually weird but it was fun to give her a hard time for it. Gave her a hug and walked off

I sent the "nice to meet you tonight" text about an hour later.

So I'll text her on friday and say I hope I run into her saturday or some crap like that. Maybe she'll bite or maybe not but I really liked the approach here of investing just a little time with the girl but making it high quality time.

Cheers
T1K

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I sent the "nice to meet you tonight" text about an hour later.

Did she respond or not?

So I'll text her on friday and say I hope I run into her saturday or some crap like that.

Don't text her anymore. Let her chase you.

 

[Michael Chief]

false time constraint

Wow, haven't heard that one in MANY years. You pulled that off nicely.

There are many ways you can go from here. @AmsterdamAssassin 's suggestion is just one of many that can work. Just depends on your style and her personality.

 

[SW15]

I was out on wednesday night with friends.

It's good that you are going to bars on Wednesday nights. A lot of men are overly reliant upon going to bars on Friday and Saturday nights to meet women. Sunday - Thursday nights offer some advantages.

I was out on wednesday night with friends. Noticed this cute fiesty looking girl (aka Caroline) sitting at the bar with her girlfriend. I went to the bar to order a drink and stood right next to Caroline when ordering. While ordering I said to Caroline and her friend something like "hey what are you guys up to". They responded friendly with "we've been hanging out at this spot all night" or something like that.

Here's where I used the false time constraint. I quickly BSed with them and made little jokes but I made sure to tell them that while I like talking to them I had to go back to my friends in a minute cause I didn't want to seem like I'm ignoring my friends. I pointed over to my group while I was telling them this.

While talking to them Caroline was paying a lot of attention to me and there was a lot of light touching between us, smiling and eye contact. Before I left the two girls I made a point to ask them both their names and then while I was walking away I said, K I'll see you in a guys in awhile.

Maybe a half hour later I went back to the same spot at the bar next to Caroline. I tapped her on the shoulder and said "Hey I'm going to order a drink here, hope you don't mind, I'll be quick". She seemed to really like this and happy that I came back to talk to her. Still I played the time constraint by telling her I'm just going to order a quick drink there.

She and I talked a lot more there but it was all fast paced and casual/fun talk. I was kinoing her a good amount.

Not a stellar opener but a good overall interaction with use of a false time constraint, kino, and a neg. Mystery and Neil Strauss would be proud of this.

Then I asked what she's doing this weekend... she said she's going to this local festival on saturday. I told her I'm going to the same festival saturday with two of the girls I was there with at the time (this was true and not bs). I asked for her number and said maybe I'll run into you saturday. She gave me her number then I gave her a hard time for wearing soccer shoes. Her shoes weren't actually weird but it was fun to give her a hard time for it. Gave her a hug and walked off

This is where the interaction went off the rails a little bit. I think bringing up your presence at this festival wasn't a good time. Instead, the better tactic to say with Caroline would have been ..... "That sounds like a great weekend plan. I hope you have fun doing it. After the festival, I'm doing X activity on Monday or Tuesday. I'd like you to join me." If she says yes, you have a first date and then you collect her digits. You unnecessarily complicated things.

I sent the "nice to meet you tonight" text about an hour later.

So I'll text her on friday and say I hope I run into her saturday or some crap like that. Maybe she'll bite or maybe not but I really liked the approach here of investing just a little time with the girl but making it high quality time.

Don't do anything more. No more texts. The interaction is where it is. Maybe you see her in person on Saturday, maybe not.

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

Good going, man.
Nice to see actual field reports with the theory in implementation (most threads on here are generally either about crying how women are x y z or theorizing about unhealthy ways to get a women).

 

[TOneThousand]

Hey guys. She didn't respond to my nice to meet you message the other night. It was pretty late at that point but didn't hear anything back from her

@SW15 - I hear what you're saying about over complicating things. It's a good point that I could have just focused on us meeting one on one to do something. The festival topic basically came up organically. While I had good steady interaction with the girl, it felt a little short to try to get her to agree to something like a one on one meet

@SW15 @AmsterdamAssassin - Right, I get your points about just letting her chase and not pursuing with another text. Honestly I don't generally have a good feel for when to let her chase and when to be more aggressive in order to lead things to a meetup etc. Most of the time I tend to be overly passive and probably miss some opportunities. Maybe in this case letting her chase is the right move cause I've already texted and told her I'm going to be there, so if she wants to run into me she can? Need to get better instincts for when to engage more

@DoofusDonutDude thanks I'll try to keep the crying to a minimum

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Unfortunately seems like she only wanted free attention that night but you miss all of the opportunities you don't take so good on you for getting the number and hitting her up at least.

Don't let it phase you, just keep doing it. In time the results will follow. It's all a numbers game, never forget this.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Maybe in this case letting her chase is the right move cause I've already texted and told her I'm going to be there, so if she wants to run into me she can? Need to get better instincts for when to engage more

If she finds you at the festival, you know she's invested. If she doesn't, wait a few days after the festival and send her a 'you enjoyed the festival?'.

In the meantime, hit up other girls, don't focus on this one.

 

[TOneThousand]

@AmsterdamAssassin - well said. Yep I've been on it with other girls too. I've been in a decent groove. I met two girls last night and they said they'd be up to see this band next week.

 

[SW15]

I don't generally have a good feel for when to let her chase and when to be more aggressive in order to lead things to a meetup etc. Most of the time I tend to be overly passive and probably miss some opportunities. Maybe in this case letting her chase is the right move cause I've already texted and told her I'm going to be there, so if she wants to run into me she can? Need to get better instincts for when to engage more

This is a matter of social skill development, mindset (aggressiveness from no porn and no fap helps with this), and experience in approaching.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Hey guys. She didn't respond to my nice to meet you message the other night. It was pretty late at that point but didn't hear anything back from her

@SW15 - I hear what you're saying about over complicating things. It's a good point that I could have just focused on us meeting one on one to do something. The festival topic basically came up organically. While I had good steady interaction with the girl, it felt a little short to try to get her to agree to something like a one on one meet

@SW15 @AmsterdamAssassin - Right, I get your points about just letting her chase and not pursuing with another text. Honestly I don't generally have a good feel for when to let her chase and when to be more aggressive in order to lead things to a meetup etc. Most of the time I tend to be overly passive and probably miss some opportunities. Maybe in this case letting her chase is the right move cause I've already texted and told her I'm going to be there, so if she wants to run into me she can? Need to get better instincts for when to engage more

@DoofusDonutDude thanks I'll try to keep the crying to a minimum

Ideally you want to avoid giving chicks the opportunity to be passive. The "great/nice to meet you text" is a bit weak by itself, you want a question along with that like "make it home ok?" or something teasing/funny from the night before (again in question form) that prompts her to respond. At least this way you have a better gauge of her interest level, whether she's low interest or moderate interest.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Maybe meeting up with two girls is a thing with the younger crowd nowadays. I'd find a way to isolate myself from the one I'm interested in - taking two chicks on a "date" is a waste of time in my mind.

 

[SW15]

Maybe meeting up with two girls is a thing with the younger crowd nowadays. I'd find a way to isolate myself from the one I'm interested in - taking two chicks on a "date" is a waste of time in my mind.

I wouldn't do this either.

 

[The Diver]

Here's where I used the false time constraint. I quickly BSed with them and made little jokes but I made sure to tell them that while I like talking to them I had to go back to my friends in a minute cause I didn't want to seem like I'm ignoring my friends. I pointed over to my group while I was telling them this.

Good on you, man. But there are too many rules and games.

After the light banter, I'll go with: "Hey, you're cute (direct expression of your sexual interest in her), and I would like to get to know you better ( showing your interest in her as a person. Some women don't want to be viewed as a Fu*k only ), give me your # and we'll catch up sometime next week for a DRINK". ( no stupid dinner on the first date).
Yes - Yes, No - No.
You'll have your answer on the spot, no beating about the bush.

This approach will put you one notch above the other men who approached her that night: It's direct, confident and unapologetic about your intentions.( having a date with her, to start with)

 

[SW15]

This approach will put you one notch above the other men who approached her that night: It's direct, confident and unapologetic about your intentions.( having a date with her, to start with)

Some believe the era of arranging first dates from nightlife venue approaches is over. I've heard the idea of bars being useful only for same night sex. I think it's an idea worth debating.

@TOneThousand was approaching on a Wednesday night, which might be better for finding something more than just sex at a nightlife venue.

I still think it is possible to use bars as a source for more than same night sex.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I sent the "nice to meet you tonight" text about an hour later.

So I'll text her on friday and say I hope I run into her saturday or some crap like that. Maybe she'll bite or maybe not but I really liked the approach here of investing just a little time with the girl but making it high quality time.

Cheers
T1K

She would have expected you too and you did , you've clarified your interest in her very quickly which ok on the surface may seem like the correct move

but you gotta remember we are in 2024 and women have 100+ men messaging them a week , they are playing the game on a different level to us with access too far more data points than us

Using terms like " I hope " signals heavy investment and generally low value

You have to ask yourself is a high value man really messaging a woman he's known for an hour " I hope I see you again "

its soft

think about it a girl messages you " I hope to see you again " your gonna think nice I haven't had to do anything and now i have her where I want her result

in 2024 you gotta get more creative and indifferent like I said girls have access to a lot more data points than we do

Be unpredictable

 

[Bingo-Player]

I still think it is possible to use bars as a source for more than same night sex.

It is but very very difficult you really need to stand out , tease her , be sexual with her , maybe kiss her

Sending messages like " nice to meet you tonight " isnt going to make you stand out

its a lot to chew through in what is going to be a constrained timeframe with the added headache of needing to deal with her friends

the chances of meeting a woman again from a random night out are very very low , better to just take the instagram gain the follower and post some interesting content in a way to bait her in that way

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

taking two chicks on a "date" is a waste of time in my mind.

how about two chicks taking you on a date?

 

[SW15]

I still think it is possible to use bars as a source for more than same night sex.

It is but very very difficult you really need to stand out , tease her , be sexual with her , maybe kiss her

I agree. That would also be effective for same night sex. Kino escalation in a nightlife approach is a good idea if the conversation goes long enough.

Sending messages like " nice to meet you tonight " isnt going to make you stand out

I agree.

its a lot to chew through in what is going to be a constrained timeframe with the added headache of needing to deal with her friends

That is one of the challenges of nightgame as compared to daygame. Women are always going to nightlife venues with at least one of their friends. In non-bar venues, there's a decent chance that she's already isolated. I like that a woman is already isolated in daygame since I like to approach solo. That's why I am more of a daygame person. With that said, I spent most of the 2000s as a guy who hit on women in nightlife venues and at off campus college parties (from ages 18-20).

better to just take the instagram gain the follower and post some interesting content in a way to bait her in that way

There are conditions are doing Instagram game. It takes some effort to have the correct Follower count and Follower-Following ratio to make it worth doing. If a man can get the Follower quantity and correct ratio (more Followers than Following), then there's good reason to do it.

 

[TOneThousand]

@The Diver and @Bingo-Player - you both make good points. Definitely need to stand out more in night game. Be creative, indifferent, and direct.

For sure night game isn't conducive to much other than maybe a same night lay. IME something will come through once in a great while but is rare

About going on the date with the two girls, I wouldn't call it a date. Will probably just hang out with them and another friend or two and see if anything else comes from it. Cheers guys!