Dude joining in on what I thought was a 1-1 date.

DonutMan

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Thought I had a date with this girl. Now I find out some other guy (friend of mine) wants to join us. So she told him to ask me if it was ok. So, I tried to turn him away gently. Then they both got upset at me. Basically now I dont even want to do it at all. She said she didnt know it was a "date". "I didnt know you liked me like that" yadayadayada... Guess I was in the friends zone. Should I blow them both off to sacrifice my pride, or go with both of them and try to sacrifice my pride that way. Im thinking I flake on her, and say she can go with him. Basically I want suggestions for damage control, and to maybe somehow flip this to generate some attraction from her.
 

KarmaSutra

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Find something and someone else to do. Let those birds flock off together. What's inevitable is that you become her girlfriend just like this idiot.

Move on young brother.
 

DonJuan11

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Tell her to call you when she wants to be alone 1 on 1.
 
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One time I asked this girl out and she showed up with a friend who was a guy. I told her I was going to get a drink and I left.
 

Snow Plowman

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Wow...so your telling me because a guy was tagging along you didn't go. To each his own though, the girl is right its not a date its a hangout. Your out to have fun the sex will come stop beasting of it.

Like seriously enjoy to process and have fun for what the interaction is worth. Don't be like a film where it starts at the beginning and you cut all the footage to the end. Enjoy the moment, stop focusing on the sex part.

Never really understood why people get so skeptical because she brings someone to tag along, heck I used to hangout with my friends so much that the only time I'd have for girls was to bring them with all my friends.

But I guess it all depends on what the person because for me personally I don't see the big deal about her bringing someone, and whether she implied that it wasn't anything sexual, it will turn into that regardless whether I showed my intent the first day or not.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DonutMan said:
Thought I had a date with this girl. Now I find out some other guy (friend of mine) wants to join us. So she told him to ask me if it was ok. So, I tried to turn him away gently. Then they both got upset at me. Basically now I dont even want to do it at all. She said she didnt know it was a "date". "I didnt know you liked me like that" yadayadayada... Guess I was in the friends zone. Should I blow them both off to sacrifice my pride, or go with both of them and try to sacrifice my pride that way. Im thinking I flake on her, and say she can go with him. Basically I want suggestions for damage control, and to maybe somehow flip this to generate some attraction from her.
So she recruited your friend to ****block you? I'm guessing that's a sign. Either you didn't convey your intentions well or she was never really interested.
 

The Bat

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If you don't have feelings for the girl, go with them and laugh it off.

I'm guessing you have some feelings for the girl though. In that case, just like somebody mentioned, let them go hang out by themselves.

With the next girl, make it clear that it's a date.
 

Answers

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If she really liked you she'd want a 1 -1 date unless shes nervous but I doubt that.

Be a man and tell her it's only the 2 of you or nothing. Your "friend" should also know better.
 

Obsidian

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Some girls are just retarded. I was (briefly) dating this one girl recently who made out with me, cuddled, and even offered sex to me, but she was still under the impression we were just friends (!)

Ditch the b1tch and find someone better who is more interested in you
 

aliasguy

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A chick tried this same cr*p with me once. We had run into each other out and about several times, and we had a bunch of mutual friends/acquaintances. She was actually in the car, on the way over, and called for directions to my house. She said she was bringing along a "friend" (a guy). I just said, "Let's do this another time, babe." (Oh, yeah, I forgot----> I first asked, "Are you kidding?" She wasn't.)

She called me up several times since, but I just wasn't into it.

I understand issues of safety and the like, but this kind of move is really annoying. How do they think we are going to respond to this kind of B.S.? It seems like such a stupid move on their part. Who puts up with this? Especially at the last minute!!

I'm certain my "intentions" had been clear, so I guess she wasn't as interested as she seemed before. Oh, well.
 

ematsuda

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Been there. I'd still go, but you're not going to cover her tab if the dude comes along since it's not a "date". Go out, but your intentions are differnent now - you're going to be in Mack Mode. Use her as social proof, mingle with others and attempt to pick up other girl's phone numbers or at least appear to be. Let the other dude babysit while all this is taking place. When she sees you mackin' on other chicks, jealousy will kick in (but only if she has a slight interest in you) and it'll raise her interest toward you.

Something similar, but not quite, happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I took out a girl who invited some friends (2 other couples) to come join us on the date. Well, I wanted to be alone with her but she felt more comfortable with her friends around I guess. Well, while she was entertaining her friends I saw my friend's super hot girlfriend and started talking to her appearing to be hitting on her. The girl I was with sent a text message to me from across the room asking for me to come back and join them again. From that point on, the girl I was with never invited anyone out with us. You see, you're going to send a message that if she isn't going to give you her full attention, neither will you.

Why it works? Because jealousy as an emotion is super duper strong. It can literally flip flop level of interest. The key is to never let YOUR jealousy come out - never let them see you sweat.
 

ematsuda

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Reading some other posts here - with all due respect - disagree that you cancel the date or leave abruptly. That type of action exudes an "I'm jealous and hurt that you're not into me" attitude. Staying calm and confident whilst having a backup plan for every roadblock is much more smooth.
 
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