Double standards --courage vs retreat.

[jophil28]

ONE of the most glaring gender double standards which you younger men will encounter is how society treats men and women differently when each is faced with adversity .
Men are rewarded with admiration when they push through their fear and ACT in the face of threat or danger. WE are expected to get the job done even if it brings injury, loss or personal damage. Men are NOT applauded for failing, doubting themselves, weeping about their upbringing or making excuses.
Women,on the other hand, are not burdened with such lofty expectations.
When a woman fails we find "reasons" for her lack of success, When a woman retreats we seek to "understand" her . She is showered with attention and sympathy and is relieved of accountability for her "failings" which are often cunningly transferred to another person - often her B/f or her husband.

Women are treated with kid gloves and wrapped in cotton their whole lives. Their whims are catered to, and their tantrums are overlooked from early childhood. Why would anyone who was raised like that take personal responsibility for the progress of their lives ? It takes a rare women to NOT exploit all that license and free rein.

So it falls to us, men. We are the ones who just cannot afford the self indulgence of endlessly discussing our "feelings" .We are the ones who must take charge and take responsibility for all the world's forward motion. WE are the ones who "put things right" while women enjoy the luxury of their beloved victimhood .

The next time you expect a woman to act with rationality or grace or honor remember that they were never trained to do so. THis is not to say that they do not grasp these concepts- they do. They just prefer not to have to act accordingly.

Men it is OUR job to LEAD and to take the reins and hold fast to that which we seek.. The next time that you hand over control of any part of your relationship to a woman remember that you are placing the reins in unskilled hands.

Now go out there and make life happen.

 

[badboyjmm]

Thank you for the reminder !

 

[DonJuanit0]

Great post...

The only thing I'd like to say is that we, men, for unexplainable reasons actually like this behavior that women have, that victimhood you refered to...
It's our nature to conquer what we can and this kind of behavior intrigue us!!
For example I hate when I see a woman trying to take control of a matter and just end up acting hysterically cause it's not her nature to act like that!

What I keep is what you said, "We are the ones who must take charge and take responsibility for all the world's forward motion."

 

[runner83]

Good post.

Comes down to the differences between masculinity and femininity.

I'm not saying either is better than the other, but the simple fact is that men are the ones who make and change the world.

Name 10 guys who have changed the world in some way. Easy right?

Now, name 10 woman who have done the same. Pretty hard, hey?

 

[horaholic]

Good post indeed, but you can't forget that in many situations, women really ARE held back. Of course in this day and age, it is made up for in countless other automatic entitlements. The widow I banged on the other thread is a good example. She's a graffiti artist. her and her late husband were both very passionate about it. Apparantly though, a lot of men in that scene dont like her gender, and have been known to fvck up her work because she's female. Of course, these are the same guys who buy drinks and kiss her ass because she's female, as well, so it balances out. She supposedly used to be 200 pounds at one point in her life, so she knows first hand the benefits of being a hot chick, and the drawbacks of being a fatty as well. I think that makes her a lot better of a human being to have a true understanding of both worlds. She's also a white girl who grew up in Oakland CA, so she knows first hand about being fvcked with because of her race.

Then there's my BPD ex as another example. Born spoiled from a super RICH family, and naturally gorgeous, yet tries to complain to me about being lonely. Chicks like her have no IDEA what its like to be lonely! Three things she has NEVER had to worry about are money, her looks, and finding partners. Those are the three things all us men on here work our fingers to the damn BONE for. The only stress in her life comes from the people she lets into her life (HER choice), her bad health (assuming its not a lie), and people dying (I'll give her that one). Doesnt mean she's any happier than any of us though, but it sure makes life easier, even if it is a curse at the same time. For example, its damn near impossible for her to have true friends.

 

[SoSuaveScorp]

Nice reminder, and nice post, gave me chills.

 

[Poonani Maker]

It takes a rare women to NOT exploit all that license and free rein.

I've met that woman, but she's got Man hands, hunts, would like to shoot my bow, and weighs just as much as me, though not entirely fat. She made it on her own, extremely brilliant nurse in a very competitive environment where we live. She was selected straight out of college (was fatter then too). She's losing weight (I suspect just for me). She's now in her early 30s and wants a child before it's too late. She put off men (only a few dates here and there all this time).

 

[Atom Smasher]

The next time that you hand over control of any part of your relationship to a woman remember that you are placing the reins in unskilled hands.

Now go out there and make life happen.

Good one, jophil. +1

Can you expound upon handing over control of any part of the relationship?