Creating a High Quality Woman

[Desdinova]

This is a bit of a spin-off from Pandora's thread on high quality hot girls.

As of late, I've been struggling with this issue. I have a 21 year old who's been pursuing me for a year now. Nice girl, takes care of me, gives me stuff, cooks for me, has her own place, has a car, but she needs to lose some fvcking weight. If she lost weight, she could easily be a HB7 which is perfectly acceptable. I've been debating on dating her, putting her fat ass on my exercise bike, and going through her kitchen, throwing out all the crap food. Women like men to take charge, so I wonder how well this would go over. If she ends up hating me, the fvck it, I lost a lazy fattie. If she goes with it, I could end up with a quality HB7.

The woman has uttered the "L" word to me a few times. Perhaps I should test that out and see if she'll work at slimming down for me. If not, I throw her away. I have nothing to lose here.

Thoughts?

 

[samspade]

Don't take this the wrong way, but by accepting all these favors from her and knowing she's into you, aren't you behaving like an attention-wh0ring girl with a nice guy lap dog? You don't sound like you're that into her, just that you'd nail her if she lost some weight, and it sounds cat-and-mouse to me.

EDIT, I understand the sex part, but I have to at least feel some real sexual attraction even if it's just to sleep with a girl. Beyond that, trying to shape the behaviors of adults can be dicey.

 

[Zarky]

Keep in mind that whenever you emotionally involve yourself with someone who has an addiction -- whether it's food or alcohol or drugs or sex -- and you decide to try to influence that person's addictive behavior, you have now taken a role in their drama. You are now a character in their little theatrical life play, whether it be "enabler," or "savior," or "patsy," or "villain" or whatever. You will not be "hero;" they're the hero, no matter what their behavior may be.

You will have certain lines that you'll spit out and actions you'll take as this character. You'll play these out over and over and over until you're sick to death of them.

I don't personally like playing scripted characters in other peoples' dramas if I can help it. But that's just me. Whatever you decide, just make damn sure you don't play the fall guy.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

If you get her to lose weight, you'll end up with a stalker for life. And she won't likely keep the weight off for very long. Just long enough to hook you.

Bad idea.

IMO, either accept her fattiness or find somebody else. Lot easier that way. People generally don't change unless they have to.

Just imagine the social shame she'll endure from society in general, trying to lose weight to "please her man."

Do you really want to deal with that?

 

[ZTIME]

If you get her to lose weight, you'll end up with a stalker for life. And she won't likely keep the weight off for very long. Just long enough to hook you.

Bad idea.

IMO, either accept her fattiness or find somebody else. Lot easier that way. People generally don't change unless they have to.

Just imagine the social shame she'll endure from society in general, trying to lose weight to "please her man."

Do you really want to deal with that?

Good point. At 20yrs old I went to a party at some girls house.I Never really met her before, but went with a friend.

She was fat...very fat!! So I proceed to get drunk and she proceeds to get me into the bedroom. I'm laying on this chicks bed and she sits on top of me and starts playing with my junk. This kind of action will sober you up real quick! I realized I needed to get out of there real quickly! But there was no way I was moving this beast off of me.

Here's what I said. "Hey, (whatever her name was) I really feel bad, but I can't allow myself to take advantage of a girl who doesn't respect herself."

Her: "What does that mean?"

Me: "Well, I don't know what horrible thing has happened in your life, but look at yourself, You've really let your weight get out of control. And honestly if we did this right now, I'd be taking advantage of you and would probably never call you again."

Funny thing was that she actually thought that was a sweet thing to say! We talked for a bit about her childhood and her weight issue. 7 months later she comes into my work about 40lbs lighter and asks me out. I lied and said I was dating someone. She thanked me for changing her life.

That's my only "fat girl" story. I stay away from them.

When in doubt tell the truth.

 

[Desdinova]

If you get her to lose weight, you'll end up with a stalker for life.

Again??? I've already had three.

Just imagine the social shame she'll endure from society in general, trying to lose weight to "please her man."

Do you really want to deal with that?

I don't really give a fvck about that.

Keep in mind that whenever you emotionally involve yourself with someone who has an addiction -- whether it's food or alcohol or drugs or sex -- and you decide to try to influence that person's addictive behavior, you have now taken a role in their drama.

Any time I date a chick, I take a role in her drama. This would be no different, and I'm already part of it. Remember, she's been pursuing me for a year now.

Go for it but don't be shocked if she becomes a lot less nice once she's hotter lol

I generally wouldn't bother with a woman like this, but there's one major thing at play here, and I have yet to write a post about it. It's my "high score theory" and how I'm sitting at the damn top of her list. I shall be covering it in a near future post on how it works.

In a nutshell, a woman is the most emotionally invested in a specific man who appears early in her dating experience. THAT is the only reason I'm even entertaining this idea. If she was in her mid to late 20s, I wouldn't bother with her. The fact that she's been interested and has remained celibate since meeting me when she was 20 speaks volumes. She's dated guys to make me jealous and then throws them away when they try to attempt kino.

She's not unattractive enough to have guys consistently avoid her.

I have other plates floating around, but there's really nothing that's been grabbing my interest. I have a chick from online who seems fairly interested, so I wanna see how that pans out before I commit myself as a fvcking personal trainer. The way I see it, if this chick wants to be with me that badly, she's gonna have to work for it. She'll be plenty rewarded if she succeeds.

 

[Pandora]

Just imagine the social shame she'll endure from society in general, trying to lose weight to "please her man."

OP i was in exactly your situation up until about a month ago. I had the perfect girlfriend. She was nurturing and really wanted to please me. The only problem was that she was about 15lbs overwieght. If she lost the weight she would have been a solid 7/10 at least.

Girls like this are on the very cusps of being hot. They are right at the edge. I could never understand why this did not give them motivation to just put in a little hard work in order to reach the promise land. I wish all it took for me to be a hot guy was to just lose 15lbs lol. I would do that in a second!

If you ask her to lose weight you will be shamed. She will say that you are superficial and an azzhole. She will also say that she does not have to change for a man. Society will agree with her. Its pure insanity.

It hurt dumping her at the time. But i am happy i did. I am now with a 7/10 girl that is hot but low quality (ex stripper) but I am actually happier. My urge to cheat is almost non existent becuz i have what i want physically.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

OP i was in exactly your situation up until about a month ago. I had the perfect girlfriend. She was nurturing and really wanted to please me. The only problem was that she was about 15lbs overwieght. If she lost the weight she would have been a solid 7/10 at least.

Girls like this are on the very cusps of being hot. They are right at the edge. I could never understand why this did not give them motivation to just put in a little hard work in order to reach the promise land. I wish all it took for me to be a hot guy was to just lose 15lbs lol. I would do that in a second!

If you ask her to lose weight you will be shamed. She will say that you are superficial and an azzhole. She will also say that she does not have to change for a man. Society will agree with her. Its pure insanity.

It hurt dumping her at the time. But i am happy i did. I am now with a 7/10 girl that is hot but low quality (ex stripper) but I am actually happier. My urge to cheat is almost non existent becuz i have what i want physically.

Sweet. Your urge to cheat could be low because you love and respect who you have as wel...

It's good to have what you physically desire in a person. The strippers mindset... I would never allow myself to get "settled" with that person. She has to always feel you are the "prize", so you gotta stay on the market, even if you are not physically cheating. They like to feel like they "hooked" something special, so you have to keep it moving.

Look like you can cheat at any time even if you don't. I'm sure you guys know that stuff around here.

It seems we can't do perfectly "good" in relationships because we will be cheated on. Women love men who are getting attention and action from other women.

 

[bmp2cpm]

Most women are overweight because:

1) they deal with their bad emotions by overeating to feel better
2) they don't want to get too close to a man so they use the fat as a barrier to prevent any real intimacy

That's it. That explains most of the overweight women out there. It's not that they don't know how to eat healthy or exercise. They understand the basic concepts. They use the over eating to make them feel better in some way or another. If you really want her to lose weight, your best bet is a therapist. Honestly, it's never worth the trouble though.

 

[sharkbeat]

Someone here said "You buy relationships"

So, you don't invest in a relationship. Don't get into a relationship hoping to change her. It's the same trap women had for their abusive boyfriends. You can obviously tell her to do this and that, but the drive to change must come from her, not you. If she's not changing, all your efforts will be futile.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Des,
From my reading,it seems fat cells are laid down early in life...once you have them net propaganda not withstanding,you have them for life....So to "make a New Woman"is more than buying the Wool and getting your Mum to make one,it is a transmogrification on par with turning Lead into Gold!

 

[Desdinova]

Sorry Des, but this is the result of a scarcity mindset.

I thought the whole being single for 6 months thing would actually make things a bit better on my end. I think the problem is that I've been starving myself while dealing with all the garbage going on in my life. The attention I get from the various women floating around me feels great. The problem is I'm not fvcking any of them, and that's been my choice.

Dealing with that scarcity mindset is tough.

It's really difficult, knowing that most of the women out there are pieces of 5hit, and I'm not even sure if this one is a piece of 5hit as well. I've been pretty unsatisfied by the women I've encountered in the past year. There's just so much garbage. I enjoy being without one because of the minimal stress, but I also enjoy being with one. The decent ones are so damn scarce.

You just have to ask yourself. Don't you deserve more?

I know I deserve more, but my biggest problem is I haven't seen the "more" in true existence.

Or is a chubby "nice" chick really the sum of your ambition?

This has nothing to do with my ambition. This has to do with my desire to have it all. I'm the type of person who will take something that needs a bit of work and bring out the full potential of it. My house is full of used 5hit that I've turned into really awesome stuff.

Fixing one's body is easy. Fixing one's personality is a challenge. I'd rather take on the challenge of getting someone to fix their body. Again, if it doesn't happen, I just throw her away. I'm not emotionally invested in this woman, so I still see nothing to lose.

You don't really like this girl either but are settling out of an idea that you can't find anyone better.

Settling means that I accept her "as is", and that's not what I want. If I do that, I know I'm just going to fvck around on her or dump her for someone hotter. I've done it before.

Like others have said "you buy a relationship".

At this point, I don't want a relationship with her.

One thing that I've realized on this forum is a lot of people are binary when it comes to relationships with women. You're either in one or you're not. If you're not, you should aspire to be in one. I'm at this point where I think women should earn my exclusivity. All I want is to give this chick a shot at earning it, but women are fvcking terrible at figuring out how to do things.

Me and her have a mutual friend (who's been friends with me for 15 years). She knows I'm not physically attracted to her, so she 'tried' to get her to work on her weight. A woman leading a woman is like the blind leading the blind. It went absolutely nowhere.

You want to find a woman, who for the most part, already has what you're looking for.

And that's the problem. Other than the appearance, everything is great. Appearance is easy to fix. Repairing the mind is difficult. Having an attractive woman who KNOWS she can get her way with her looks is already defective. You can't fix that 5hit.

I'm not entering a LTR with the intention of fixing her. I'm wanting to fix her and REWARD her with a LTR. Her IL is already sky high, so why not gamble on it? Again, there's nothing here for me to lose.

 

[mangotot]

If you want a laptop you buy one that is fully functional. Not some crap you have to fix to get it in working order. Same goes for women.

 

[G_Govan]

If you're up for it give it to her straight.

"I like you and wouldn't mind being in a relationship, provided you lose some weight."

There's no stressing over how she might feel or how the future will play out. You make your intentions known from the get-go and bail if she doesn't comply. Being able to tell someone the straight truth is quite liberating even if they don't like hearing it.

You can close this chapter with a clear head.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Dear Des,
From my reading,it seems fat cells are laid down early in life...once you have them net propaganda not withstanding,you have them for life....So to "make a New Woman"is more than buying the Wool and getting your Mum to make one,it is a transmogrification on par with turning Lead into Gold!

Yes, you have the fat cells but they don't need to be filled to capacity...

 

[Tenacity]

This is a bit of a spin-off from Pandora's thread on high quality hot girls.

As of late, I've been struggling with this issue. I have a 21 year old who's been pursuing me for a year now. Nice girl, takes care of me, gives me stuff, cooks for me, has her own place, has a car, but she needs to lose some fvcking weight. If she lost weight, she could easily be a HB7 which is perfectly acceptable. I've been debating on dating her, putting her fat ass on my exercise bike, and going through her kitchen, throwing out all the crap food. Women like men to take charge, so I wonder how well this would go over. If she ends up hating me, the fvck it, I lost a lazy fattie. If she goes with it, I could end up with a quality HB7.

The woman has uttered the "L" word to me a few times. Perhaps I should test that out and see if she'll work at slimming down for me. If not, I throw her away. I have nothing to lose here.

Thoughts?

Dude this is the SUM of my issues in terms of the dating market with women. The ones that can be somewhat of a decent quality relationship are ALWAYS overweight. I mean they would have everything else with the IL being good, her finances are good, not a bunch of kids (no kids mostly), she has her shyt together....but for some reason she wants to be OVERWEIGHT.

I don't have an issue with a chick being Fat, because that can come off as just being Thick depending upon how it's positioned on her, but when she's overweight to where she looks better with her clothes on than OFF...that's horrible.

On the other side of the lane, I have chicks that are physically attractive but don't have their basic shyt in order in terms of their finances, they might have multiple kids from thugs, etc.

I haven't had much success with getting overweight girls to lose the weight. Usually they just take offense to everything and proclaim I should just "like them for who they are". And I haven't had much success getting BROKE/financially stupid women to get their finances in order (even though they know I have an MBA and an Accounting Degree) to the point where they are self-sufficient.

As a result, I just spin plates and manage the half a.ss quality dating relationships that I have with these people.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Dude this is the SUM of my issues in terms of the dating market with women. The ones that can be somewhat of a decent quality relationship are ALWAYS overweight. I mean they would have everything else with the IL being good, her finances are good, not a bunch of kids (no kids mostly), she has her shyt together....but for some reason she wants to be OVERWEIGHT.

I don't have an issue with a chick being Fat, because that can come off as just being Thick depending upon how it's positioned on her, but when she's overweight to where she looks better with her clothes on than OFF...that's horrible.

On the other side of the lane, I have chicks that are physically attractive but don't have their basic shyt in order in terms of their finances, they might have multiple kids from thugs, etc.

I haven't had much success with getting overweight girls to lose the weight. Usually they just take offense to everything and proclaim I should just "like them for who they are". And I haven't had much success getting BROKE/financially stupid women to get their finances in order (even though they know I have an MBA and an Accounting Degree) to the point where they are self-sufficient.

As a result, I just spin plates and manage the half a.ss quality dating relationships that I have with these people.

Maybe you can have a female suggest to her and get her to see the light.

I see what you are saying about physically fit, but broke "hot babes" with a lot of problems.

And a fat nicer one who has money is a lot more appealing, because she can lose the weight, possibly improve her appearance and be much more fun to be around than one who'se been coddled all her life.

Find a way to have a female to suggest that losing weight will improve her life across the board, and hopefully she will follow. Also to improve her dress.

Looks are just looks, what does she do for you? That's my question.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I thought the whole being single for 6 months thing would actually make things a bit better on my end. I think the problem is that I've been starving myself while dealing with all the garbage going on in my life. The attention I get from the various women floating around me feels great. The problem is I'm not fvcking any of them, and that's been my choice.

Ever consider the problem if one of these women would play dirty and get pregnant to trap you in some way? I'm not one for starving oneself but at the same time, you can't gorge yourself on junk food.

I don't know the challenges you're going through but it seldom turns out well when you base your livelihood on what others do for you. What if they stop, what if they want something in return that you don't want to give?

Find some way to make yourself feel good by your own efforts. The confidence that you may build for yourself could be the very thing that will lead you to women who are giving by nature and you could be attracted to them without the need of trying to fix them.

Don't sell yourself short.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Ever consider the problem if one of these women would play dirty and get pregnant to trap you in some way? I'm not one for starving oneself but at the same time, you can't gorge yourself on junk food.

I don't know the challenges you're going through but it seldom turns out well when you base your livelihood on what others do for you. What if they stop, what if they want something in return that you don't want to give?

Find some way to make yourself feel good by your own efforts. The confidence that you may build for yourself could be the very thing that will lead you to women who are giving by nature and you could be attracted to them without the need of trying to fix them.

Don't sell yourself short.

** Bravo **

I am so glad I'm on this forum. This is an awesome response...

 

[YawataNoKami]

Call me shallow, but I instantly have a negative bias against obese people. Yo me it smacks of a lack of self control and laziness. Unless that person has exceptional qualities, I would never employ an obese person.

They always have an array of excuses for their girth as well. Also from own observation, fat women are considerably more intolerable than fat guys.

Apologies if I have offended anyone on this forum, just speaking from life experiences.