Colossus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2005
- Messages
- 3,542
- Reaction score
- 560
I think this is an important topic that hasn’t been discussed in depth. As Mature Men, we tend to find ourselves in more LTRs as we get better at attracting and qualifying women. This is ok, as long as you have a plan and it’s what you want. But invariably, to many a man’s woe, relationships have a way of bringing out all those personal defects you have stuffed in your closet for so long. When we’re single and just wheelin’ and dealin’, it’s easy to feel great about ourselves because most of the attention we get is positive. The relationships are short-lived because we are spinning plates and just being men chasing skirt. If a chick gives us problems, we next and get back in the saddle. When a relationship becomes long-term, however, both parties are naturally placed in a position of increased vulnerability. No matter how perfect your woman is, there is going to be something you find annoying about her. This is just one of the realities of life. Either we find a way to deal with these annoyances and coexist, or we make the difficult decision of breaking off a long-term investment in a chick. The same goes for women, although women are more apt to try and “change” a man to suit their preferences. A wise man once told me, “men marry the woman they love, thinking she will never change; not realizing that every woman changes. Women marry the man they see him becoming, not realizing that men pretty much stay the same as$holes their whole life.”
This is funny, but there is a lot of truth to it. There comes a time in every relationship when a man is confronted with the reality of his own character flaws. He might be selfish in certain ways, he might pay way too much attention to his work, or he might have an unshakable penchant for eyeballing other women. So the question is when does a man swallow his pride and make a serious effort to change his behavior FOR a woman? There is an underlying theme here that we should never compromise ourselves to please a woman, and this is good in theory, but at some point we all need to face up and admit that some of the stuff we do may play a big role in relationships not lasting. Holding fast of your principles is one thing, but refusing to change for the benefit of someone you care about is just plain selfish.
A brief example: My current gf is a slow walker. I HATE slow walkers. This is probably one of my top 5 pet peeves. Drives me insane. Thing is, she deliberately walks slowly just to see if I will stay with her and not get on ahead. She is very old fashioned and believes a man should stay right next to her and be protective. I walk rather fast, so many times I just get way ahead and I look back and realize she is 30 feet behind. But she makes NO effort to catch up, and if I don’t wait she is NOT happy. This has clearly become a battle of wills. I annoy her with my absent-mindedness and fast walking, and she annoys me with her deliberate sloth’s pace.
So, do I just suck it up and walk slow with her? Or do I refuse to give in and walk like I have some fvcking purpose in life?!? I have to take all things into consideration. She is very giving in almost all other areas. She usually goes out of her way to make me happy. So, I could make a case for just dealing with this pet peeve and be a gentleman.
The point of this post is to prompt us to look at the way we treat our women. I’ve realized I spend an inordinate amount of effort improving myself physically and professionally, but very little in improving the way I treat women. I have a tendency to be brusque and deadpan, forgetting women need to be treated differently. I have found that the number one reason women break it off with an otherwise valuable man is because of a lack of attention. I don’t naturally give much attention to women; it’s just how I roll. Women have broken up with me because of this. The challenge lies in deciphering when and how much to give, and whether or not it is warranted. Some broads are just plain spoiled.
I’m curious what some Mature Men think about this. Were there times in your past you wish you would have changed? Did a good woman get away because you were bullheaded and selfish? Where do you personally draw the line?
This is funny, but there is a lot of truth to it. There comes a time in every relationship when a man is confronted with the reality of his own character flaws. He might be selfish in certain ways, he might pay way too much attention to his work, or he might have an unshakable penchant for eyeballing other women. So the question is when does a man swallow his pride and make a serious effort to change his behavior FOR a woman? There is an underlying theme here that we should never compromise ourselves to please a woman, and this is good in theory, but at some point we all need to face up and admit that some of the stuff we do may play a big role in relationships not lasting. Holding fast of your principles is one thing, but refusing to change for the benefit of someone you care about is just plain selfish.
A brief example: My current gf is a slow walker. I HATE slow walkers. This is probably one of my top 5 pet peeves. Drives me insane. Thing is, she deliberately walks slowly just to see if I will stay with her and not get on ahead. She is very old fashioned and believes a man should stay right next to her and be protective. I walk rather fast, so many times I just get way ahead and I look back and realize she is 30 feet behind. But she makes NO effort to catch up, and if I don’t wait she is NOT happy. This has clearly become a battle of wills. I annoy her with my absent-mindedness and fast walking, and she annoys me with her deliberate sloth’s pace.
So, do I just suck it up and walk slow with her? Or do I refuse to give in and walk like I have some fvcking purpose in life?!? I have to take all things into consideration. She is very giving in almost all other areas. She usually goes out of her way to make me happy. So, I could make a case for just dealing with this pet peeve and be a gentleman.
The point of this post is to prompt us to look at the way we treat our women. I’ve realized I spend an inordinate amount of effort improving myself physically and professionally, but very little in improving the way I treat women. I have a tendency to be brusque and deadpan, forgetting women need to be treated differently. I have found that the number one reason women break it off with an otherwise valuable man is because of a lack of attention. I don’t naturally give much attention to women; it’s just how I roll. Women have broken up with me because of this. The challenge lies in deciphering when and how much to give, and whether or not it is warranted. Some broads are just plain spoiled.
I’m curious what some Mature Men think about this. Were there times in your past you wish you would have changed? Did a good woman get away because you were bullheaded and selfish? Where do you personally draw the line?