Beta Words to Ban from your vocabulary!!!!!

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

I've noticed some truly beta words and phrases in my and most people's vocabulary. I think a list can be useful. I notice I use these at work a lot, for whatever reason. I feel a twinge of disgrace each and every time, and have decided to BAN them completely.

The words/phrases aren't beta in themselves, and obviously can't be banned 100% completely especially when a situation calls for it, but in this context they are ugly and self-loathing and should be 100% avoided.

- Sorry (Used because a mistake or misunderstanding must be your fault EVERY TIME.) "Can you repeat that? Sorry."

- Just (Used to minimize something, as if its going to offend or disturb/disrupt somebody) "I'll just have a Blue Moon"

- Really ("I don't really feel like it" or "I'm not really sure" - another attempt to minimize something so as not to offend the demi-gods known as other human beings)

- "I guess" (should speak for itself)

- "I think . . " (attempt to say something without 100% belief in it, so as not to be held accountable, even if you know you're right! Girl: "lol wasnt ronald reagan president in the 90's?" You:"No I think the 80's.")

- "I think so"/"I don't think so" (pvssy versions of 'Yes' and 'No')

- "Can I . ."/"Mind if I . ." (Acceptable in some cases when you're in someone else's private house/property and are requesting something you aren't paying for. That's common decency. Every other time: BETA)

Any others?

 

[PDubb75]

Great topic. I was just thinking about this, and trying to come up with some on my own. Stupidly, I did not write them down yet.

- Possibly (Specifically when used in a sentence such as "Could I possibly get another glass of water?")

- Like (In the "valley girl" sense. "Do you want to like, see a movie?" This isn't so much beta as it is improper, uneducated, and straight up annoying.)

- Can't (Don't say that you "can't" do anything. You sound defeated and lacking of confidence. You may be currently unable to do something, but that can be changed.)

I know I have others, so I will add them in later as I think of them.

 

[samspade]

Ha, good thread. Though it's definitely a matter of context. For instance, "maybe" is a great answer to certain questions coming from women....sometimes it pays to be ambiguous.

I've been trying to eliminate "whatever" - as a response or conversation-ender. It's kind of lame, I think. (Whoops - I mean, it's kind of lame, period.)

EDIT - I mean it IS lame.

 

[st_99]

Pretty good list and explanations from OP. It's basically saying, "assert yourself and stop being such a pssy." It harkens back to self confidence.

 

[Trisquel]

Wow. I use all of those. Trouble is, it's habitual. Trying to concsiously break the habit is akward and stunting. Out of the frying pan and into the fire...

 

[Sparky]

- Like (In the "valley girl" sense. "Do you want to like, see a movie?" This isn't so much beta as it is improper, uneducated, and straight up annoying.)

Hah got there before me. Any man saying this should either wear a big banner saying "I'm gay" or be forced to wear a cheerleader outfit and appear on an episode of Glee.

One interesting one I'll add is "Errrm...." - when thinking about an answer etc. It displays lack of confidence that the other person places value on your answer and is prepared to wait a few seconds for it.

 

[Sparky]

Wow. I use all of those. Trouble is, it's habitual. Trying to concsiously break the habit is akward and stunting. Out of the frying pan and into the fire...

Same here. It's a case of concentrating on not saying it EVERY time you nearly say it, and don't take your eyes off the ball.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Great thread.

A word and a phrase that I have decided to eliminate..

"Impossible" - nothing is impossible as long as the ideas remain within the laws of nature. (Inspired by reading "Think and Grow Rich)

"I don't know" - a phrase that omits uncertainty, lack of confidence, and complete beta behavior.

 

[Strelok]

This is a really useful thread and I'm gonna rep anyone who gave precious suggestions except those I recently rep.

The point is that being a beta doesnt damage your sex life only but also your social and work life, nobody respect betas.

My contribution is about how important is to avoid being a yesman, 3 yes in a row after a single line scream beta like a son who look like the postman.

 

[Tyson420]

I try not to say 'Basically'

I hate it so much yet I say it. I sound stupid when I say it.

 

[Atom Smasher]

"I'm pretty sure..."

It's a double-whammy with the feminine "pretty" in it plus it shows indesiciveness.

I agree with all these except "I think", because that phrase can convey "It is my considered opinion" or that I am expressing an opinion after having thought it through. There are uses where it does convey weakness, however.

I think this one falls into the double-edged sword category.

Edit: The phrase, "I feel" is somewhere you never want to go. I have a friend who says this all the time and it drives me nuts. He also talks about scenery being "pretty". He's a good friend, though, and I just overlook it.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I can't like believe like you guys like didn't like mention the worst like word in post like Twilight vernacular:

"Dang it."

I like fvcking like hate like that like phrase.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Here's a a two-word sentence we should all bury in the Grave of the Unknown Soldier:

"I can't." :yes:

 

[Johnnyventana]

"if you're not busy"

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

"Please"

It's ok to express gratitude with a "thank you", but "please" relegates you to the position of a beggar.

 

[KarmaSutra]

"Please"

It's ok to express gratitude with a "thank you", but "please" relegates you to the position of a beggar.

"Please" stop posting. You become more of an idiot with each one.

Being cordial has nothing to do with being a subservient cvnt.

You'd know the difference if you weren't one.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Here's a a two-word sentence we should all bury in the Grave of the Unknown Soldier:

"I can't." :yes:

But what if it's within the sentence, "I can't hook up with a woman as fat as you"? Won't you give me a pass on that one? Pleeeeaaaase??

 

[Strelok]

"if you're not busy"

This is a pearl, this words can set a really bad frame in her mind.

"Please"

It's ok to express gratitude with a "thank you", but "please" relegates you to the position of a beggar.

You spent too much time playing the soldier, in the real world when you ask someone for something you dont give orders even if you're talking with one of your employees.

 

[Jariel]

The problem with this is that it impedes your social skills. I've got a degree in linguistics and studied social interactions and some of these "hedges" are actually quite important. Blunt statements are often perceived as unfriendly and cold, or imposing, and in the early stages of interraction you really don't want to appear this way.

As long as you're not stuttering, showing uncertainty or overusing these words or phrases (i.e. "I'm, like, maybe thinking of...") I wouldn't worry too much about it.

It's always a good thing to demonstrate confidence, but don't underestimate the appeal of modesty.

 

[omkara]

I work in a feminized environment (academia), so I use the softer language to smooth over interactions with my coworkers. It helps them feel more comfortable with me.

I think putting up a non-threatening front can be very useful at times when you are meeting new people etc.

Ok I'm really hung over so this probably isn't making too much sense. Sorry!!