Phoenix_of_the_ashes
Master Don Juan
Yesterday I broke up with my gf of 1.5 years. I still love her alot and I really hurt her, because so does she.
I had gotten us both into a bad stuation and I have been thinking about it alot, I decided to do what I did because I not only think its the best thing for me, but also for her.
When we met it was pretty strong infatuation, but not only that, she is a really good girl, or better said woman, she is 26 and I am 21. Physically she is very attractive but she also has a great character, she never played any stupid games and I have the feeling that she a smart girl that understood me very well. She would never get stupid jealousy attacks, in fact if she saw a pretty looking girl on the street she would point her out for me, just as an example. She was overall very dedicated to the relationship.
Thie thing is that from the start she made it clear that she wasnt just looking for a boyfriend but for a life partner, she told me that we shouldnt be together unless I felt the same way. This was my fatal mistake, of course I said yes, but practically how can I dedicate myself for life now? Im just 21 I dont have much experience and I cant even imagine what will happen during the next 80 years. One could say that it was stupid of her to make such an ultimatum toward a younger and extremely in love guy like that, but Im willing to take the entire blam for that because in the end they were my words that came out of my mouth and said "yes".
The reasons why I told her I could not go on with her indefenitely are two. First of all, there are quite some things which are extremely different about us. She is from Japan, so she is already very different, however she is not passive or submissive at all, as is often said about japanese, she can be highly aggresive(not in a violent way) and this leads to lots of rubbings between us because Im also fairly aggresive but with very different implications, me having a german/american upbringing. If I extrapolate these large differences towards infinity I see huge problems of the horizen, from child upbringing to work life.
The second reason, I have to be honest, Ive only ****ed one other girl in my life. It sounds incredibly shallow and I dont know if I should hate myself for this or not, but when I go outside and I see all those ****ing sluts then it just ****ing crushes my mind. I think its ****ty to cheat if youre in a relationship, its just against my principles, but I see all the other girls and it just beats me in my mind when I think that I can never have more than what I have now. The thing that ****s me the most is that its really only sex, but the fact that its one of my primal instincts makes it so strong that it screws me up in such a way, its not something I will ever be able to reason away, and I know that I will probably never find another girl who is so great for a long relationship than she is, and I know she is after 1.5 years.
Its a bad situation for me and for her. I love her and I know that shes a great girl, yet I still feel like I have to give her up plus I decieved her about it for quite some time.
Insights? Opinions?
I had gotten us both into a bad stuation and I have been thinking about it alot, I decided to do what I did because I not only think its the best thing for me, but also for her.
When we met it was pretty strong infatuation, but not only that, she is a really good girl, or better said woman, she is 26 and I am 21. Physically she is very attractive but she also has a great character, she never played any stupid games and I have the feeling that she a smart girl that understood me very well. She would never get stupid jealousy attacks, in fact if she saw a pretty looking girl on the street she would point her out for me, just as an example. She was overall very dedicated to the relationship.
Thie thing is that from the start she made it clear that she wasnt just looking for a boyfriend but for a life partner, she told me that we shouldnt be together unless I felt the same way. This was my fatal mistake, of course I said yes, but practically how can I dedicate myself for life now? Im just 21 I dont have much experience and I cant even imagine what will happen during the next 80 years. One could say that it was stupid of her to make such an ultimatum toward a younger and extremely in love guy like that, but Im willing to take the entire blam for that because in the end they were my words that came out of my mouth and said "yes".
The reasons why I told her I could not go on with her indefenitely are two. First of all, there are quite some things which are extremely different about us. She is from Japan, so she is already very different, however she is not passive or submissive at all, as is often said about japanese, she can be highly aggresive(not in a violent way) and this leads to lots of rubbings between us because Im also fairly aggresive but with very different implications, me having a german/american upbringing. If I extrapolate these large differences towards infinity I see huge problems of the horizen, from child upbringing to work life.
The second reason, I have to be honest, Ive only ****ed one other girl in my life. It sounds incredibly shallow and I dont know if I should hate myself for this or not, but when I go outside and I see all those ****ing sluts then it just ****ing crushes my mind. I think its ****ty to cheat if youre in a relationship, its just against my principles, but I see all the other girls and it just beats me in my mind when I think that I can never have more than what I have now. The thing that ****s me the most is that its really only sex, but the fact that its one of my primal instincts makes it so strong that it screws me up in such a way, its not something I will ever be able to reason away, and I know that I will probably never find another girl who is so great for a long relationship than she is, and I know she is after 1.5 years.
Its a bad situation for me and for her. I love her and I know that shes a great girl, yet I still feel like I have to give her up plus I decieved her about it for quite some time.
Insights? Opinions?
